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my band played a show without me?!?!
- Thread starter LIONFURY
- Start date
Yeah, I'd be a little leery of that one. Sounds like the kinda stuff you hear after you catch your girl at some other guy's house.
This is the winning ticket, if you want to believe anything else, that's up to you.
Be sure to follow up with the "My band replaced me without letting me know" post so we can all have resolution.
Seriously, if you're good there are tons of bands that will want you, and if not it will give you time to practice.
I guess I'd be curious..But I'd move on anyway.
Unless there's something the OP left out, like he wasnt available on a certain date, and they already asked/told him about it, but he was too drunk to remember.
If they just did it behind your back...just move on, like someone said..your being replaced.
Yeah you are done with them they are jerks and losers pack your stuff and roll don't even stop to listen to some lame excuse find another band.
I asked the guy who told them i couldn't be there why he did it. He said "I don't know i just wanted to play a joke on you"
At the time i happened to be holding a water bottle. i poured it on his head. a little immature, but it was satisfying. No one trusts him now.
At the time i happened to be holding a water bottle. i poured it on his head. a little immature, but it was satisfying. No one trusts him now.
I asked the guy who told them i couldn't be there why he did it. He said "I don't know i just wanted to play a joke on you"
At the time i happened to be holding a water bottle. i poured it on his head. a little immature, but it was satisfying. No one trusts him now.
Poor joke, to say the least.
Good touch with the water bottle.
So, wait, are you gonna stay in the band? I'm still confused 
Something doesn't add up here...
Didn't they have to rehearse with the other bassist? How did that work?
Obviously, they would've either had to sneak around your guys' rehearsals and practice with him if they didn't want you to know about it...OR wouldn't he have showed up to your regular rehearsals to learn a few things?
That's what my band did a few years ago when we had to have someone sub in for me - I stood there and worked with him on my parts...
Something doesn't add up here...
Didn't they have to rehearse with the other bassist? How did that work?
Obviously, they would've either had to sneak around your guys' rehearsals and practice with him if they didn't want you to know about it...OR wouldn't he have showed up to your regular rehearsals to learn a few things?
That's what my band did a few years ago when we had to have someone sub in for me - I stood there and worked with him on my parts...
apparently my band played a show without me. They asked another bassist to play instead and didnt even call to tell me about the show. Any advice on what i should do?
Yes, walk.
Time to find some new bros to hang with. You have been disrespected big time. And some advice from an old fart ......try to walk without burning your bridges. You will be running into these folks in your local music scene for the rest of your life. I once got booting from a band because a guitar player wanted to bring a buddy on bass. No worries.....did not burn any bridges and ended up becoming hired as the band sound man. Earned much more cash and had a better time than actually being in the band. Plus I was able to join a better band with nicer more successful people. It's all about the people you hang with more then the music. Also I would take a look deep inside yourself and ask why you are hanging with people that disrespect you. Maybe you need to respect yourself a little more and find some nicer people to surround yourself with.
Yeah why would they believe this guy without calling you to confirm the info?
Life is stranger than fiction but, this sounds like bull to me.
Life is stranger than fiction but, this sounds like bull to me.
pack your stuff, & stay classy.
communicate with them. some useful info can come out of this discussion that you can use later on down the road to help you in future bands.
communicate with them. some useful info can come out of this discussion that you can use later on down the road to help you in future bands.
Having read this thread, it's pretty clear you have a number of choices. Everyone has their opin, but having lived longer than most of you guys, here's how I think I would handle it. But first, let me preface that with:
Regardless of the reason, there is no legit excuse for treating you like that. Oversight is a poor excuse - it's simply wrong and unprofessional. Presuming you might, or might not be unavailable for that gig is a lack of communication. Did you give them a reason to think that? If not, it's the band leader's responsibility to confirm yes/no personally with you prior to finding a sub. Again, a lack of professionalism.
But...apparently the band leader took the word of someone "playing a joke on you." BAD JOKE! Even worse, apparently the entire band bought into it without having the courtesy to even casually mention it or ask you about it. Tells me, this isn't a very tight-knit group. Also tells me they "fly by the seat of their pants"...I'll bet there are other unprofessional habits too.
So...what do you do?
First, I'd honestly assess how my relationship has been with this band up until the point of the incident - you say you have been dependable and part of the "team." If that's really true, there must be another reason they chose to exclude you from the "joke" and not speak/confirm it with you.
Next, I'd consider my musical skills - could you consider this a good opportunity to exit and build on your skills? Maybe get your name out there for a better gig that would challenge you to become a better musician.
Finally, I'd take the high road. Talk honestly with the guys and tell them how you felt about it. I wouldn't burn any bridges - never good in the music field - but I'd gather my stuff up peacefully, wish them well, and be on my way looking for a more professional deal.
But, only you can honestly assess your relationship with them, your skills, confidence, and the market for other gigs in your area. I'm just sayin'....
The biggest issue is that they didn't ask you for permission if you could have a replacement, even if they asked you directly if you were available for the gig rather than taking someone elses word.
I would talk to them and find out why they chose to take someone elses word for it and why they didn't speak to you directly. I would take their response into consideration, maybe they just made a mistake, but ultimately, if they don't respect you enough to talk to you directly and if you don't already have that freedom of communication in the group, it's time to move on.
I would talk to them and find out why they chose to take someone elses word for it and why they didn't speak to you directly. I would take their response into consideration, maybe they just made a mistake, but ultimately, if they don't respect you enough to talk to you directly and if you don't already have that freedom of communication in the group, it's time to move on.
This whole thing sounds EXTREMELY strange.
I'm going to go out on a limb here and guess that you guys are either in High School or just out of it. Am I right?
I'm going to go out on a limb here and guess that you guys are either in High School or just out of it. Am I right?
LIONFURY said:I asked the guy who told them i couldn't be there why he did it. He said "I don't know i just wanted to play a joke on you"
At the time i happened to be holding a water bottle. i poured it on his head. a little immature, but it was satisfying. No one trusts him now.
Lion unless you guys are all around 13-14 years old, nobody is going to believe this story.
