Need help setting someone straight - your POV please

[Hurricane Jimmie]

So Anyway, siblings and good friends will fight from time to time.
If all the drummer wants to do is play....and mostly for free... then this situation won't be resolved. He might look for other players who just want to play and don't care about anything else.
Wish him well.

I also don't need to play for money, but getting paid shows me that the venue/host is at least as serious about the event as I am.

Good Luck with your decision.

 

[g-dude]

Music is a product of time and money: Music = Time * Money

As we all know, time is money, and thus: Time = Money

Therefore: Music = Money²

We also know that money is the root of all evil: Money = √Evil

A quick substitution leads us to: Music = (√Evil)²

Therefore, we can conclude: Music = Evil

Just text him back and say that music is evil, and therefore you can’t do it.

 

[Artman]

I’m pretty sure that any “friend”, no matter how long we might have known one another, who insulted and attempted to gaslight me the way your friend did to you, would not be my friend anymore, and would be advised to keep a safe distance from me for the foreseeable future.

 

[Indiana Mike]

Tell me where you can get free services?
Church. I play for free at church and they don’t ask for my money.

Let them listen to a boom box.

 

[red_rhino]

I'm lugging a poopieload more gear than u...

Completely irrelevant. Just because he's moving more gear doesn't somehow make him more virtuous than you. It's not your fault he's a drummer and has to move a bunch of gear. (I detest this kind of virtue signaling. I once had a bandmate claim he was more dedicated to music because I owned a home and he did not. "I put everything I have into music." Lovely, we're done here.)

If he wants to play for free, that's fine. If you want to play for free, that's fine too. But there's nothing wrong with wanting to be paid. Don't apologize for it or feel bad about it.

 

[LiptonJigglers]

There's 8 billion people on the planet, for now, and just like them, you've only got your manual/mental labour power to sell to those who can afford to buy it.

Not one solitary labouring person gets fully paid the entirety of what they produce or create. If they did, there'd be no such thing as profits and profit motive.
You will not be paid to travel, set up, pack up, to replenish necessary inventory required to perform your tasks etc etc etc.
You and 8 billion others, get just enough to replenish the bodies requirements in order to do it a again tomorrow.

So heres your choices:
1: You can actually be financially and physically ahead if you say no to the job and stay home and make enemies with your friends.

2: you can take the job, get the less than adequate subsitence income they offer and play for fun, exposure, experience or whatever it is you like to use in order to justify why you're doing all this and keep your friends and squabble over crumbs from the Beadles table.

3: you can take another friend with you and have them collect the pay and keep the drummers $100 as well as having them walk around with a hat and keep the money to share with your new friend.
Getting caught will make more enemies but you'll have a new friend.

4: Find a professional band to join and find out who your enemies and friends are all over again until you realise there's more work, more labour involved and your still only getting enough to replenish your spent vital energy.

5: become a Bolshevik and be surrounded by enemies.

 

[misterCRUSH]

I don't think you should be playing out for free (granted, I'm talking covers, I can't speak to originals). But everyone has their price. Pick yours, stick to it, and don't worry if someone feels differently.

Better yet, find a group of people that are all on the same page as you as far as pay. My jazz combo made a pact early on that we play for $75 an hour trio; $100 an hour quartet, and have a $50 travel add for every 30 minutes away from home base. We've played for more, but that's our minimum. Be well, BASS.

 

[smurfco]

Friend or not, as soon as somebody starts insulting me while simultaneously asking me to do something, I tell them to go pound sand. You don’t owe him any kind of explanation. Just say I’m not doing it.

 

[Timmy Liam]

Playing for free (unless it’s for charity) undermines other musicians.

 

[wysiwyg248]

As a proud member of the DFM, I'm with your teacher.
Together we stand, divided we fall.

 

[Egg250]

This is why it is important to establish a common understanding at the formation of a band. I agree totally with you...you should be paid unless the band unanimously agrees to play for free. I suspect your "friend" already rogered up the band to play this party without asking the band.

 

[40Hz]

Your drummer apparently has a high need for attention and is willing to pay to get it. Playing for free in situations like this is no different than paying to rent out a “vanity” venue. Because even if you only value the hours of your life at a buck an hour, you’re still working at a net loss even if the money isn’t out of pocket. And that ignores the cost of transportation which is an out of pocket cash expense.

Playing for free doesn’t mean you’re not getting paid - I means you’re paying someone to not pay you. That’s the economic reality of gigging for free. It’s not zero profit. It’s a net loss.

Some people don’t care about that as long as they get their spotlight and fun. If that’s where your drummer’s head is at more power to him. But it’s selfish and inconsiderate of him to think he can twist your arm and force you to tag along without discussing it with you first. Abd it’s pretty arrogant to make an arrangement like that and expect you just go along without complaint. That’s called presuming on someone’s friendship. And if that’s how he operates, them maybe it’s time to think about getting some better friends.

 

[bikeplate]

I say it quite often. Find like minded people to gig with

 

[bmusic]

If they’re doing a massive renovation on their house and having a blow out party, to celebrate it, they can afford to pay the band. Period.

 

[Ronnie Pudding]

Are you guys a Royal Blood or Om tribute band or did I miss the part about what the other band members think about taking on all these freebie gigs?

 

[pcake]

only i can decide whether i want to play for free or not or do anything else. if a person can't respect where i'm coming from on this or on anything else, and if they get insulting about it, they're no longer a friend of mine.

 

[Five or Six]

Whatever you do take care if it in person! Doing band business by text unless absolutely necessary is crap. Hit it head on. Quit is not always a solution unless common ground can't be found. I never saw an answer about how many are in the band. How do they feel? Haven't seen much response from OP?

 

[DWBass]

I am not cool with any BL volunteering MY time for free and insisting that I should play for free. I let every BL know that I play for money. Period. I can stay home for free. And I damn sure wouldn't stand for a 'friend' of mine insulting me either. I don't have the patience for that crap. I'd tell him to find another bass player.

 

[skwee]

Play for money. Don't do free things, even for family.

 

[skycruiser]

This thread reveals the true musician spirit, that's for sure. All about the art and putting smiles on faces.