Phone call?

[bassike]

I'm 40 and i struggle, when people requests a phone call. I hate it, and i think it means nothing.
example you could be one of those guys that are amazing at job interviews, but lousy worker.

i rather Jam and see they guy in person.

 

[bassrich]

Back in my day my girlfriend had a party line for a phone.

You probably don't know what that is since you probably dont have much memory of phones that werent cellular. But It was a single phone number shared by multiple households.

So imagine trying to have a romantic conversation when her mom, dad, sibling or any of her neighbors might be silently listening in.

Now that's a reason to be nervous on a phone call.

LOL Yeah I heard of those days. Now you just have "The Man" listening in.


OP take the call he could be really busy ATM it could lead to a long relationship

 

[Mystic Michael]

So I emailed this cat about a band. After exchanging several emails he wants to do a phone call. I suggested that we jam. But he insisted on doing a phone call. He's been in some real projects so I guess he's a good player. But I mean...phone call? This guy lives like 10 minutes away from me. What could he learn through a phone call? I hate phone calls.

I've already given him a lot of the logistics. Like how old I am, how long i've been playing, influences, rig. So...

Any thoughts?

Question: If you don't like to do phone calls, then why do you own a phone? And what could he learn through a phone call? A lot. You'd (apparently) be surprised.

Frankly, I'm on the same page as this guy who wants to talk with you by phone. I've wasted a lot of time and energy giving people the benefit of the doubt, who I should definitely have pre-screened first, prior to making the decision about whether to move forward with a face-to-face. I've learned my lesson. In fact, if I was in this guy's shoes and you balked at having a phone conversation with me, I'd consider it a significant red flag.

MM

 

[stringthrough]

There are disturbed people out there who know how to hide behind their e-mails. A real-time discussion, even by phone can often expose them. Maybe he's already been burned..... His request is totally reasonable. Do the call.

 

[rmayer]

Definitely a generational thing. I'm 63, have no problem texting or emailing but nothing replaces a phone call. And yes, I still have a land line at home. Mostly because I hate the crappy quality when two people try to talk on cell phones.
The OP says he doesn't know what the person is saying on the phone. How do you judge inflection in an email or text. How do you identify sarcasm? Give me a live conversation any day.
I have a friend, maybe 18 years younger. We'll be texting for 20 minutes and I'll call his phone. He never picks up. What??? Drives me nuts!

 

[Duder]

I had to call my current singer before I even got to meet him and the guitarist, let alone jam with them. Social anxiety sucks, hope it works out for you.

 

[2manynotes]

Talk? Verbally? Telephonically? Using vocal cords?

ZOMG ROFLMAO GTFO NSFL

 

[hsech]

I don't mind doing the phone thing. If it means the difference between getting a job and not getting a job, I don't let it bother me.

 

[Mvilmany]

I'm 22. I realize it shouldn't be a problem. It's probably some kind of anxiety.

It's that little green or blue app on your phone. Back in the day, before texting, we were forced to "talk on the phone." It was horrible, but we had to do it.
If you actually call the guy, it'll be really awkward at first. Think of it as Skype without having to see the person. You'll probably be ok. Take a moment to be proud of yourself; you actually used email for its original purpose: to communicate, not just to activate a snapchat account. That's a big deal for someone of your demographic.
Good luck, and keep us posted.

 

[Mvilmany]

Your parents failed you in some way....

Our parents have been failing us all for hundreds of thousands of years.

 

[Joybass]

I don't dislike a good phone call, but I do detest talking on the phone to people who mumble, chew gum, stick their phone in their collar, or have any kind of self inflicted articulatory malfunction. Makes me mad.

 

[Stevorebob]

Just think of the phone as instant voice-to-text and instant text-to-voice. But avoid the smiley faces and lols, and actually laugh.

Seriously though, if you have actual anxiety issues, seek some help. If it's merely avoiding the unfamiliar, get over yourself. You'll have many, far-greater challenges ahead in your life.

 

[Mvilmany]

Question: If you don't like to do phone calls, then why do you own a phone?

I assume that he has a phone in order to google, text, take pictures, and post about PBasses with flats on Talkbass, just like everyone else.

 

[karl_em_all]

I understand evolving communications etiquette and all, but a "Help, someone wants to talk to me on the telephone" post is a bit much.

I am sure the guy is just leery about meeting a stranger and wants to make sure you're not a slavering meth head looking to steal his gear.

Meth head bass players are the worst.

 

[sawzalot]

This is also a safety issue. Keep in mind that you are a complete stranger to him. You can tell in an instant during a voice call whether someone is mostly normal/sane or whether they are someone that you don't want to invite to your home. Do the phone call. Make sure you don't sound like Hannibal Lecter on the phone and you'll be fine.

Tom

 

[plankspanker13]

At 51, I guess that I am part of the "fogey" contingent of thread participants. When I was the OP's age, the land-line phone was all that we had. Teenagers and early-20-somethings were proverbial phone hogs, in family households. The only mail that we had was snail mail. The less tools that you have makes you more resourceful in their usage. Necessity has always been the mother of invention.

Sure, I'll e-mail as a first step. Yes, links to video clips, or attached audio files are important barometers. An exchange of 2 or 3 e-mails can establish the landscape, and can often be enough to reach that thanks-but-no-thanks point. A phone call usually follows. It might actually be a long conversation, or one that must be continued, at a later time, due to external concerns. Obviously, there are plenty of "safety points," in this kind of a process. Texting does have it's uses, but if the exchange is more than 2 or 3 texts in length, then it is grossly inefficient. Efficiency is the name of the game, in keeping productivity up and costs down, regardless of whether it is business or leisure pursuits involved. Voice-to-voice (sans a video component) is a very efficient step in the process. I'm not sure what to think about an e-mail--Skype--meetup process, but if you are dealing with long-distance phone charges, I can understand the cost containment aspect.

If the phone makes you nervous, as a younger person, you have my pity. Your job prospects will be limited, as many employers do a phone screening, prior to the in-person interview.

I remember some 80's Rush album and tour program credits for Saved by Technology. Indeed, we are, in some ways, saved by our technology. In other ways, we are enslaved by it. I would propose that the OP go without the data plan on his/her cell phone for a whole month. Just make it a pure phone. Once you have learned how to actually communicate effectively and efficiently, you may be surprised at how often you'll actually use your smartphone for its' original purpose; as a telephone.

 

[mellowinman]

Back in my day, we no use fancy electrical gadgets. We communicate good bang on rock. Bang once yes. Bang twice no. Bang many many times, me angry, now you in danger.

 

[blue4]

It's a phone call. Just get it over with.

 

[yodedude2]

... I hate phone calls.

Any thoughts?

skipping 6 pages to say: i also hate phone calls. when i am on the phone, i can't wait to hang up. i much prefer e-mails myself. even texts are preferable for me. don't apologize for being yourself.

if you want to work with this person, try to meet them in their comfort zone.

edit: looks like age is a thing. i am 52. i still detest phone conversations despite my approaching senility.

 

[Hopkins]

5 minute phone call = 30+ emails.

You can cover a lot of ground on goals, expectations and all that in a short time. He's interested, otherwise he would not have requested a conversation. Take the opportunity to find out what his goals and expectations are as well. Save yourself a bunch of time.

After 5 minutes, you'll either feel a fit or you won't.

This 100%

Our society has gotten so afraid to actually speak to someone. I don't know how many times people on this board go off on a rant because they sent an email that didn't get responded to, when a simple 5 minute phone call would have solved the issue in the first place.

 

[yodedude2]

i expect it's more of an introvert/extrovert thing. i've also seen things get totally screwed up with phone calls, so that cuts both ways....