Phone call?

[Sixgunn]

In pondering this phenomenon it occurs to me that the marked increase in internet courtship means an increasing percentage of existant couples typed at one another prior to first speaking. Courtship such as this necessarily creates anxiety about conversation representing a step to deeper intimacy.

Tl;dr jumping on the phone with a stranger is just wayyy too fast

Lol!!!

 

[Sixgunn]

Love how this has just turned into a thread about the decline of western civilization, hahahaha!

*Fixed* lol

 

[Sixgunn]

Do you realise that the majority of artists and musicians are introverted?

Source please.

 

[buldog5151bass]

Source please.

I'll alert Gene Simmons, Mick Jagger, Bono and the others...

 

[Eminor3rd]

Not weird at all. He wants to get a feel for you before he commits time to you and/or gives you a chance to rob him at his jam space.

 

[Sixgunn]

I'll alert Gene Simmons, Mick Jagger, Bono and the others...

No kidding!!!

 

[Chef]

I'm 55, if that matters.
I like a phone call because it gives you the chance to rule out slope headed slack jawed mouth breathing poseurs who can't construct a sentence.
I don't mean that to sound harsh; I'm sure it does.
But, I've wasted a Metric Tonne of Time emailing folks who claim to know arses from holes in the ground, but when you speak to them, it turns out they've had no stage experience, can't read a chart, don't know what the Nashville Number system is, etc; and barely have the where-with-all to remember to inhale.
I can usually pick those sort straight out of a line up by their ability to speak a sentence made of words with some amount of fluency.

ymmv

 

[lokikallas]

I had that situation recently. I'm 38 and I found it a bit annoying. Emails and text don't require waiting. I hate phone tag. I can see the point, but if I'm just setting up an audition, as long as the questions get answered and we exchange clips of our playing, I'm fine to wait until the jam to talk.

 

[buldog5151bass]

If you are just setting up an audition, then a text or email can be enough, but the very fact that the guy insists on a phone call suggests otherwise...

 

[DirtDog]

Two musicians meet at a library? Can't wait to hear the punchline.

They got booked.

 

[Old Garage-Bander]

It's not an age thing.

As the OP himself said, someone in their twenties shouldn't have any issues at all talking to someone on the phone.

Texts are great for quick/simple communication, but you can accomplish more in a five minute phone call than you can sending texts back and forth for 30 minutes.

-grunt- Fifty year olds these days.

 

[buldog5151bass]

Just take a look at the debates, and you can see how the ability to present oneself talking is important.

 

[Old Garage-Bander]

I think you guys are viewing this the wrong way. I'm 25, and I didn't own a cell phone til I was 18 years old (yes I know that's weird). I communicates solely by telephone calls for the better part of my life, and I always hated it. I'm an introvert and I don't like talking on the phone with people that I don't know. I now mostly text, not because In"grew up in a different time", but because as an introvert choosing between the two methods, texting is far more comfortable.

I'm still very outgoing, personable, and articulate. You probably would never guess that I prefer to spend my free time in total solitude, but I do. The two places I am most happy are alone at home and on stage in front of tons of screaming strangers. But a 1-on-1 with strangers? Total discomfort.

What! What? You're an outgoing, personable, articulate, introvert?

 

[pbassnut]

I'm into my sixties now and approach communications in an old school manner ... phone or face to face and be real. He probably wants to learn a bit more about you before committing to doing anything. Some examples ...

experience: like if you're an inexperienced beginner and he's an experienced pro
goals: like if you want to play original music and try to get a recording contract and he wants to play cover music and gig regularly
equipment: like if he likes to play through a Marshall stack @ 120 dB and you have a little 1x12 combo and like to play @ coffee house dB levels
musical taste: like if he wants to do death metal and you want to do folk
temperament: becoming involved with players in a band will require a whole lotta interface and he might want to get a feel for how you two might get along

You have it all ahead of you. There are going to be lots of interpersonal issues you will encounter in your life in your music, friendships, girlfriends/wives, careers, etc where you will need to be able to communicate with people and texting/email just ain't gonna cut it for a lot of it. If talking on the phone to someone is a problem for you, I suggest you get over it and "just do it". Best of luck to you.

 

[Old Garage-Bander]

Just take a look at the debates, and you can see how the ability to present oneself talking is important.

If you are referring to the debates for presidential candidates, then that sir, is a poor model.
The discourse in this election cycle is at an all time low. It has come down to who is the biggest blowhard.
I do not consider that to be a good example of how to interact with others.

 

[DirtDog]

It is very interesting though to see how many people on this thread, regardless of age, either "hate" or prefer to avoid telephone calls.

I wonder why that is.

Considering that a good chunk of communication is non-verbal, I prefer to meet face to face in a "cold call" situation. I'm not a fan of the phone unless I'm talking to someone I know or have done business with - can't get a good read from them otherwise. not a hard and fast rule, though. Depends on the urgency of the situation. This comes from my days as a commissioned salesman 25-30 years ago where phone based cold calling was the norm. These days, the better I know the person, the more likely I am to text/email with them.

But yeah, 5 minute phone call is more efficient/effective than 20 emails/texts. Mind you, in a situation where it benefits having a "conversation" documented, email can't be beat.

OP, in your situation, I'd invite the guy out for a coffee and chat for 15 minutes.

 

[buldog5151bass]

If you are referring to the debates for presidential candidates, then that sir, is a poor model.
The discourse in this election cycle is at an all time low. It has come down to who is the biggest blowhard.
I do not consider that to be a good example of how to interact with others.

Exactly my point - whether you can/can't communicate effectively in person when speaking makes a BIG impression on the listener.

 

[Hopkins]

i expect it's more of an introvert/extrovert thing. i've also seen things get totally screwed up with phone calls, so that cuts both ways....

Sorry, but I disagree. Speaking to someone is much more streamlined and eliminates the possibility of intent being lost in text. If something gets screwed up with a phone call then there is a real issue. If that real issue somehow got lost in text then there still is an underlying problem that has gone unaddressed.

 

[d-dave]

I had that situation recently. I'm 38 and I found it a bit annoying. Emails and text don't require waiting. I hate phone tag. I can see the point, but if I'm just setting up an audition, as long as the questions get answered and we exchange clips of our playing, I'm fine to wait until the jam to talk.

Emails and text don't require waiting?

Man, apparently I've been at an unfair disadvantage up to this point. I was under the understanding that an Email is when you type out a few sentences and send them to another person. At which point said "other person" receives, opens and reads the email. "Other person" then proceeds to type out a few sentences and sends them to you that you then receive, open and read. All that takes far more effort, time and waiting than speaking and listening for a response.

And text? If I had a dollar for every time I got a, "Crap man, sorry. I JUST got this text," four hours after I sent the initial text.

You hate calling and not reaching someone. I get it. But honestly... That comment may be the most untrue statement I have ever read in my life. You don't want to converse verbally. Fine. But surely you aren't trying to convince anyone that it takes less time to speak and have a conversation than to text it or, far more time consuming, email it.

 

[yodedude2]

Sorry, but I disagree. Speaking to someone is much more streamlined and eliminates the possibility of intent being lost in text. If something gets screwed up with a phone call then there is a real issue. If that real issue somehow got lost in text then there still is an underlying problem that has gone unaddressed.

fair enough. my personal experience is different and i disagree with your opinion. of course, my personal preference is e-mail; i appreciate having something to refer to later. phone calls are too ephemeral. wow, i am a fossil!