I hear they talk to each other with their eyes. They only meow when dealing with humans. That's why ferals don't meow
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Phone call?
- Thread starter DaDrew2112
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You're not the only person who hates dealing with people on the phone - I can't stand the damned thing - but a lot of people expect/need to hear that voice, for whatever reason, and you gotta accommodate them.
My guitar player drives me crazy with this. I text. He calls back. Just text me back! It takes no time at all, while with the phone thing I've got to drop everything else I'm doing and JUST DO THAT. But he didn't grow up that way and it never occurs to him to do so.
My guitar player drives me crazy with this. I text. He calls back. Just text me back! It takes no time at all, while with the phone thing I've got to drop everything else I'm doing and JUST DO THAT. But he didn't grow up that way and it never occurs to him to do so.
Wow!!!!! This is great. I use texts and emails quite a bit. It is NOT and was never intended to become your personality. Actually if you think about it texting and emails are not a step forward in terms of communication. All it does is makes it easier to be an @55hole because you don't have to look them in the face, or hear them raise their voice when you insult them.
Some people give good phone. Some don't. I've always been a better writer than a speaker and hate doing business over the phone. (Social anxiety figures into this as well.) Some recent issues:
- There's one band leader I work with whose phone has been on the fritz for half a year it seems, so he calls me on speaker phone. My phone isn't great so he just sounds fuzzy. The guy is a talker so he's telling stories and I feel like I'm in a bar catching every third word. Then I'll realize after he pauses that I've just been asked to make a commitment regarding a situation I half understand. Awkward and painful.
- When someone offers me a gig on such and such a date, I ask them to text or e-mail me the details. I want to see business in writing, otherwise I feel like I'm making cement plans based on speculation. Seeing details in writing also helps me make sure I understood the name of a club and find the address. Phonetic hearing doesn't auto-correct properly.
- This doesn't involve speaking, but I have some bands that prefer to communicate via group texts. This causes problems half the time, because Person A will send out a group text, Person B will reply to all, Person C will reply ONLY to Person B, and next thing you know there's a fragmented conversation. Because phones differ, I feel much more comfortable if everybody is communicating via group e-mail or via something like a FaceBook conversation where you can tell when a message has been received.
As others have said, there are many occasions in which a short telephone call saves a lot of time that would've been spent texting or emailing, and usually means miscommunication or misunderstanding can be sorted out immediately in the conversation. (This, of course, can happen, too, face to face.) I don't find the request for a phone conversation strange, and I'd just do it.
A friend once recommended me for a band. He introduced the bandleader and me via email, and then the BL and I exchanged a couple of emails -- most notably the BL sent me a list of tunes and information about the band's style and influences, and how often they practiced and performed. This was all good, and a very efficient way for me to get some background on the group. And was way easier than if we'd spoken on the phone and he listed tunes verbally, etc. At that time, I was juggling a few different life issues, and starting to think that adding this band wouldn't fit into my lifestyle. Instead of just emailing that, I connected with the BL by phone, and we had a very good conversation about the situation. I was able to confirm quickly that my suspicions were correct, and he appreciated the few minutes we spent talking because he understood better where I was coming from. I have no doubt that having that interaction via email would've been more complicated and taken longer. (And I attribute that call to hearing from the BL about another opportunity a couple of years later -- which was not a fit for me, either.)
All these modes of communication have their place, and can be really useful for accomplishing various goals. I appreciate people who are discerning about when a call vs a text vs an email vs an in-person meeting might be the right mode for a given circumstance. It does drive me nuts at work, though, when I'll get a long, complicated email from a colleague, and upon reading it I know that (a) they spent much too much time trying to explain the issue in writing when a 5-minute call or trip down the hall to my office would've sufficed and (b) there wasn't a need to have some kind of written (electronic) documentation.
Last, this does remind me of some other discussions about custom builders. Sometimes specs get worked out via email or over the phone, but before the job is started I feel like it's essential (1) to get that written spec summary sheet from the builder for documentation (in my experience, a pdf document) and (2) do a spec review over the phone or in person to confirm common understanding of those specs (in my experience, phone since I didn't live close to the builders). Obviously, that's a different case that's not about joining a band, but I do often find a conversation really useful to confirm similar understandings of a joint endeavor, and maybe by phone is a better start than making the time to jam right off the bat.
Peace.
A friend once recommended me for a band. He introduced the bandleader and me via email, and then the BL and I exchanged a couple of emails -- most notably the BL sent me a list of tunes and information about the band's style and influences, and how often they practiced and performed. This was all good, and a very efficient way for me to get some background on the group. And was way easier than if we'd spoken on the phone and he listed tunes verbally, etc. At that time, I was juggling a few different life issues, and starting to think that adding this band wouldn't fit into my lifestyle. Instead of just emailing that, I connected with the BL by phone, and we had a very good conversation about the situation. I was able to confirm quickly that my suspicions were correct, and he appreciated the few minutes we spent talking because he understood better where I was coming from. I have no doubt that having that interaction via email would've been more complicated and taken longer. (And I attribute that call to hearing from the BL about another opportunity a couple of years later -- which was not a fit for me, either.)
All these modes of communication have their place, and can be really useful for accomplishing various goals. I appreciate people who are discerning about when a call vs a text vs an email vs an in-person meeting might be the right mode for a given circumstance. It does drive me nuts at work, though, when I'll get a long, complicated email from a colleague, and upon reading it I know that (a) they spent much too much time trying to explain the issue in writing when a 5-minute call or trip down the hall to my office would've sufficed and (b) there wasn't a need to have some kind of written (electronic) documentation.
Last, this does remind me of some other discussions about custom builders. Sometimes specs get worked out via email or over the phone, but before the job is started I feel like it's essential (1) to get that written spec summary sheet from the builder for documentation (in my experience, a pdf document) and (2) do a spec review over the phone or in person to confirm common understanding of those specs (in my experience, phone since I didn't live close to the builders). Obviously, that's a different case that's not about joining a band, but I do often find a conversation really useful to confirm similar understandings of a joint endeavor, and maybe by phone is a better start than making the time to jam right off the bat.
Peace.
Let me go a step further: I can't imagine hiring someone for a band......where they will be up on stage expected to entertain an audience.....if they are so introverted that a phone call stresses them out like it does many here.
What happens when bang stop? Bass solo?
Hell, I'm 50. This isn't an age cohort issue, it's just that some people REALLY don't like talking on the phone. I am one of those people.
Huh?
If a guy can't talk on the phone to a stranger, he just isn't going to magically change into an outgoing dude on the gig.....I don't really care what label differentiation you care to slap on it.
consider, if you will, this real life example: neil peart is so introverted he would not do the meet and greets at the rush concerts. didn't affect his performance as far as i could tell. (as an aside, i'm discussing preferences, not capabilities. i prefer to avoid phone calls; it doesn't mean i never talk on the phone. compromise is called for if one really wants something.)
I think he should call. OP said he is going to.
But who cares about shyness or introversion. He's playing bass.
But who cares about shyness or introversion. He's playing bass.
I should've added this to the list. I don't know what my deal is because my hearing is average for a musician, but I've had trouble since I was a kid understanding people without a small component of lip-reading.
Anyway, that could be an excuse in the future: "I can hear well enough to play music but I'm half-deaf on the phone it seems." It's not ideal to cop out, but on the other hand phone frequencies are definitely squished.
"That is a TERRIBLE impression of Frank Rizzo! I hope you don't try to make a movie or anything!"
Honest question for the OP.....not trying to be sarcastic or put you down in any way:
How do you date?
Are emails and texts a big part of getting to know someone?
When I was single, the phone was the best way to "move things along." If I'd insisted on texts, the girl would have thought that I wasn't interested.......or that I was a little strange.
I met my wife on an online dating site a few years back.....she did a "wink" or something. I thought she was cute, so I asked for a phone number, and called her straight away. She liked that.
How do you date?
Are emails and texts a big part of getting to know someone?
When I was single, the phone was the best way to "move things along." If I'd insisted on texts, the girl would have thought that I wasn't interested.......or that I was a little strange.
I met my wife on an online dating site a few years back.....she did a "wink" or something. I thought she was cute, so I asked for a phone number, and called her straight away. She liked that.
Hopkins
Commercial User
So you can send a text and concentrate on a task better than you can while having a phone conversation. The conversation is just as distracting either way.
