I once had a dream I was walking along the beach with Eris, Goddess of Chaos and Discord. And as I looked behind us, I could see footprints tracing all of the events of my life. And I noticed that during all the times when everything was cool, there were two sets of footprints, but when Grayface was laying his Heaviest Bummers on me, there was only one set of footprints. "Goddess," I cried, "why, during my times of greatest need, would you abandon me?" "I never left you", she said, "it was during your times of greatest troubles that we both hopped on one foot".
Then she told me that she needed a bass player. She really wanted Death, but he had already signed on with Wyld Stallions, and I guess Pestilence was in some Norwegian black metal band. She didn't even want to audition Famine, because she heard fat guys made better bass players. And that's how I got the gig.