Rude to not take drinks?

[saabfender]

Don't know why the OP took his ball and went home. We're just trying to help.

 

[mcnach]

You should continue to play in bars and not drink.

Exactly.
Most times I am one of the drivers, so I'm not going to be drinking. It doesn't mean I don't have fun... hey, I like my beer, but there are times to drink and times not to, and it's fine. I sometimes get offers for a drink... if someone asks me before they bought it I just thank him but tell them I won't drink as I'm driving. Sometimes I'm actually thirsty and I thank him from the bottom of my heart and ask if they can get me some kind of juice or even water. Nobody has been upset yet. Other times a drink is already being offered... then I say thanks and take it, and give it afterwards to one of my bandmates who would like it.
There's no need to make a big deal out of it. People are trying to be nice... so accept it graciously and keep the smiles going. You do NOT have to drink if you don't want to.

 

[mcnach]

Ive said it before and ill say it again. Booze is the biggest negative in our society. It finds many ways to ruin lives. Ruins your body, your mind, etc. drunk drivers, liver disease. Shall i go on?

On a gig i just say i dont drink. Ill take a water or coke

I'm not sure alcohol is the issue. The attitude towards/around alcohol may be. The people who are obnoxious after a few drinks... chances are that they are not little saints when they're not drinking.
The vast majority of 'drinkers' find a way to not *abuse* alcohol, and just enjoy it for what it is and cause no trouble.

 

[mcnach]

Amen to that. Everywhere you drive in America nowadays is littered in Bud Lite cans. Our society is saturated in cheap, corrosive swill.

Don't you think that the same people littering beer cans are the ones that litter... hamburger wrappers, coffee cups, and any other kind of stuff they just don't want?

It sickens me to go out into the wild... and as long as a place is reasonably accessible, there'll be litter all over the place, even if there are garbage containers near.

 

[mcnach]

Don't know why the OP took his ball and went home. We're just trying to help.

some people come here to discuss things, but others just want a support group, I guess..

 

[Nev375]

According to Alice Cooper, despite all the songs about drinking he is so famous for, the hardest thing George Thorogood drinks is Dr. Pepper.

So if he can manage to be a teetotaler in rock and roll I don't see why the rest of us can't.


Besides, there's always the "it interacts with my medication in a bad way excuse." That's the one I use.

 

[Spidey2112]

Not sure how many patrons were purchasing drinks for our rhythm guitarist, but he showed up to almost every gig drunk... made so many mistakes, I mean right from the get go... after awhile, I couldn't even hear him... he either 'bowed out', or our sound guy took care of him... think Milli Vanilli with a guitar...

... we closed the bar, so I made it a habit to not have more than two beers (purchased, or patron provided) across 3 sets (about 4 hours)... I think tired, coupled with a few drinks, is just as bad as full blown imbibed...

... I even had to work early, most Saturdays after a gig, which was always a treat... pretty much left Sunday for sleep... .

 

[bolophonic]

Like I said above, you are entertainment which is special. You’re expected to be able to handle the situation without getting offended or offending others.

You keep pushing this concept that anyone involved at a show is agreeing to a set of made-up terms and conditions that exist on paper somewhere. When I enter a bar, I am not beholden to any code of drinker’s etiquette. I am there to entertain by playing the notes, not to obligate my priorities as a de facto alcohol salesman. You think I don’t know what I’m talking about? I have been gigging this way since 1999 without a problem.

Why are you even persisting with this drunk-talk bar philosophy nonsense in a thread about sobriety? I haven’t seen you concede that some people are simply able to exist within a reality that you have never experienced. Perhaps you should pause and ask yourself why this makes you so defensive.

 

[Deleted member 165050]

If you’ve already formed your own opinion than why were you asking the question? And let me add, I don’t drink BC of medical reasons and I realize it’s rude to decline at a bar but I still do it.

Just wondering why it is rude to decline the offer of a drink? It's an offer, not a royal command. People should accept that someone might say no.

 

[4001]

I'm trying to figure out where PLAYING BASS comes in ......

bar bands....

 

[JMacBass65]

You keep pushing this concept that anyone involved at a show is agreeing to a set of made-up terms and conditions that exist on paper somewhere. When I enter a bar, I am not beholden to any code of drinker’s etiquette. I am there to entertain by playing the notes, not to obligate my priorities as a de facto alcohol salesman. You think I don’t know what I’m talking about? I have been gigging this way since 1999 without a problem.

Why are you even persisting with this drunk-talk bar philosophy nonsense in a thread about sobriety? I haven’t seen you concede that some people are simply able to exist within a reality that you have never experienced. Perhaps you should pause and ask yourself why this makes you so defensive.

This is such an awesome response.

 

[bolophonic]

This is such an awesome response.

Thanks, man. Your perspective means something to me on this TB thingamajig.

 

[Spidey2112]

When @bolophonic talks, people listen...

 

[filmtex]

Personally, I drink all night long, at every gig. Water with lots of ice unless somebody offers to buy me a drink. I make sure that all the waitresses and bartenders either know or find out that my drink of choice is diet-whatever. For years I drank O’Douls- non-alcoholic “beer”, till I became diabetic. Now it’s water or an occasional diet soda. If anyone asks, I simply tell them that I’m the designated driver for my beer-sucking band mates. Nobody has given me any grief, and I don’t expect anyone ever will. It’s the one thing everybody understands.

 

[Ross W. Lovell]

I think you have to keep in mind that you are employees of an establishment that makes money by selling drinks. So, saying “I don’t drink” could seem a bit hipocrical. Said another way, you are being party poopers in a place that’s there for people to party. So, I’m not saying you should drink if it’s not your thing, but, also be aware that that can seem rude to people who are buzzed and are buying you drinks as a show of appreciation.

Why is the initial post missing?

I frequent restaurants that serve alcohol, along with playing places.....I don't drink, I can, but I don't. These same establishments are places I also pass on certain fare, again not rude.

It's not rude to POLITELY refuse. It is wrong and RUDE for anyone to insist, get it right! People who are buzzed and insist, usually prefer others to imbibe so they don't feel guilty.

Some years back, my then fiancé and myself were visiting a friend of hers along with her husband. We planned on meeting in the morning to catch up and take them to lunch as noon approached.

I was offered a beer when I arrived......it was 9:45 in the morning, I declined, passing no judgement, but I did feel it a tad early but did not acknowledge that. Mike continued to consume, but every time he cracked one open, he offered one to me. This was happening about every 15-20 minutes. Each time politely declined by myself. Around the 4th beer, he was starting to get agitated and more animated insisting I needed a beer.

It almost came to blows he was that upset.

My fiancé was later wondering what was the problem with her friend's husband? I explained that he was likely an alcoholic and one of the ways they feel more comfortable drinking is to have others drinking with them so they are not then only ones imbibing. Being that early, just wasnt going to happen in this case.

Pushing others to drink with them gives them an out. If confronted about whether their drinking is proper, they point to others for an alibi, after all, "I'm not the only one...so is Bob".

Places that we've played before, know if a drink offered, I'll take a Diet Coke.

I've been around long enough where club owners wanted us to run a tab....never. Politely declined. I don't want to be greeted at the end of the night with the tab, subtracted from our pay and then have to suss that out individually with who had what drinks and then explain to their wife why I only gave him their partial fee. See the issue?

That being said, I wouldn't play any place that doesn't follow dram laws for serving alcohol.

I don't give a rat's butt if I "seem" rude to people who are buzzed! I'm polite but I won't be put on the spot because I DON'T drink. Heck, if they are in bad enough shape, I'd likely drop the dime on them so they don't drive and kill anyone.

My stepfather is an alcoholic, to this day.

Never really liked drinking or the effects it caused nor the excuse of "I must have drank too much" or "it was the alcohol's fault", but I refuse vehemently to be shamed into lowering my IQ temporarily to make someone feel more comfortable about their behavior.

 

[Ross W. Lovell]

You asked if it’s rude - not if you should do it. Since you guys don’t drink and bars are where bands play than you should probably keeping playing at bars and just be gracious when someone buys you a drink because it is a little rude

No it isn't. If I offer to buy you bacon wrapped scallops and you politely decline because your Jewish, is that rude?

Politely decline or srare you'd like a soda, no issue.

If you feel otherwise you might want to look inward.

 

[JMacBass65]

To the contrary, you are there as entertainment. That gives you special responsibility. Getting paid to do what other people do for recreation puts you in a special category. Nobody washes dishes for fun. They do play music for fun. You are getting paid to do what people find fun. When someone buys you a drink, it’s your job to be gracious.

Same excuse used when venue owners don't want to pay us what we are worth. Screw that. Drinking is not part of the entertainment, if they want it to be, add it to the T&Cs. I say this as someone who will drink at a gig, but I'll be damned if someone is going to EXPECT it of me. I do what I want.

Why is the initial post missing?

I frequent restaurants that serve alcohol, along with playing places.....I don't drink, I can, but I don't. These same establishments are places I also pass on certain fare, again not rude.

It's not rude to POLITELY refuse. It is wrong and RUDE for anyone to insist, get it right! People who are buzzed and insist, usually prefer others to imbibe so they don't feel guilty.

Some years back, my then fiancé and myself were visiting a friend of hers along with her husband. We planned on meeting in the morning to catch up and take them to lunch as noon approached.

I was offered a beer when I arrived......it was 9:45 in the morning, I declined, passing no judgement, but I did feel it a tad early but did not acknowledge that. Mike continued to consume, but every time he cracked one open, he offered one to me. This was happening about every 15-20 minutes. Each time politely declined by myself. Around the 4th beer, he was starting to get agitated and more animated insisting I needed a beer.

It almost came to blows he was that upset.

My fiancé was later wondering what was the problem with her friend's husband? I explained that he was likely an alcoholic and one of the ways they feel more comfortable drinking is to have others drinking with them so they are not then only ones imbibing. Being that early, just wasnt going to happen in this case.

Pushing others to drink with them gives them an out. If confronted about whether their drinking is proper, they point to others for an alibi, after all, "I'm not the only one...so is Bob".

Places that we've played before, know if a drink offered, I'll take a Diet Coke.

I've been around long enough where club owners wanted us to run a tab....never. Politely declined. I don't want to be greeted at the end of the night with the tab, subtracted from our pay and then have to suss that out individually with who had what drinks and then explain to their wife why I only gave him their partial fee. See the issue?

That being said, I wouldn't play any place that doesn't follow dram laws for serving alcohol.

I don't give a rat's butt if I "seem" rude to people who are buzzed! I'm polite but I won't be put on the spot because I DON'T drink. Heck, if they are in bad enough shape, I'd likely drop the dime on them so they don't drive and kill anyone.

My stepfather is an alcoholic, to this day.

Never really liked drinking or the effects it caused nor the excuse of "I must have drank too much" or "it was the alcohol's fault", but I refuse vehemently to be shamed into lowering my IQ temporarily to make someone feel more comfortable about their behavior.

Great post.

 

[Ductapeman]

I may have bribed the bar crew at some point such that when someone says "I wanna buy that guy a drink," they make me a setup (everything except the alcohol)-- but there may also have been times when politics indicated I should possibly overimbibe just a bit--

 

[Spirit of Ox]

why is there a . and nothing else?

 

[Dominic D]

If someone offers, I usually ask for a Roy Rogers. I've found most people don't know what it is.