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School bans tag

#102
bassybill said:
I think MAYBE the implication is that bullying is a normal, healthy part of childhood, just like tag is. I suppose the next thing we'll hear is that bullying is "character building".

I hope I've got this wrong. The thought that anybody could view bullying as a necessary part of childhood and as innocent as playing kids' games is extremely disturbing at all sorts of levels.
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I think all of us have experienced bullying, to some degree. Some kids are just bullies. Some are worse than others.

The thing that troubles me most is that kids are *punished* for defending themselves against bullies. This teaches kids to keep quiet about it when someone harms them. It teaches kids to either accept violence against their person, or to believe that they have to take extreme steps. Some kids' extreme steps have proven very deadly indeed.

The way bullying is handled in schools frustrates the kids who are bullied, and makes them feel totally helpless. They are told to tell a teacher, but the teachers don't do anything to help them. We've experienced this with our son when he was younger, and it is *immensely* frustrating!

When we, as parents, try to get the school to do something, its always "have the boys shake hands in front of the parents and principal and promise to try to be friends". I'm not kidding! After that, the bully continues on as before, and nothing changes.

This is no way to handle bullying, but it is how many American schools "handle" it. By not handling it, and punishing children who defend themselves.

Cherie
 
#103
Toasted said:
Its hilarious the people who in "Bassist 4 Life's" thread were advocating pepper spray and night-sticks, but in this thread are outraged that tag is banned and it 'stops kids being kids'.
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Dude, are you worried that all this "anti-bully" we have today will kill the emo movement in the feature? Are you worried for emo nation that there will be less emo kids growing up because we took away one more thing they can cry about like tag or wedgies?


:D
 
#104
txbasschik said:
I think all of us have experienced bullying, to some degree. Some kids are just bullies. Some are worse than others.

The thing that troubles me most is that kids are *punished* for defending themselves against bullies. This teaches kids to keep quiet about it when someone harms them. It teaches kids to either accept violence against their person, or to believe that they have to take extreme steps. Some kids' extreme steps have proven very deadly indeed.

The way bullying is handled in schools frustrates the kids who are bullied, and makes them feel totally helpless. They are told to tell a teacher, but the teachers don't do anything to help them. We've experienced this with our son when he was younger, and it is *immensely* frustrating!

When we, as parents, try to get the school to do something, its always "have the boys shake hands in front of the parents and principal and promise to try to be friends". I'm not kidding! After that, the bully continues on as before, and nothing changes.

This is no way to handle bullying, but it is how many American schools "handle" it. By not handling it, and punishing children who defend themselves.

Cherie
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+1
 
#105
well, as a kid who was bullied in elementry, and somewhat in Jr. high, I can say that the number one WORST policy I have ever ran into was:

We have a no-bullying policy here. There's no way he's actually being bullied. There's no bullying here, your son just has anger problems.

well, you convinced me on the anger problems one. I was rather optimistic before that, but now I have alot of anger, and I'm in high school. Not a very good situation, eh? especially for the bullies.

However, I got the fighting back ability stamped out of me when I did stand up for myself. I have a rather slight physical stature, so I don't really have much for defending myself.

bottom line: banning tag won't accomplish anything. safety? who cares. you're more likely to die by your house burning down that from playing tag. In fact, you've got a nil chance of getting anything worse than a few scrapes, or maybe a bruise. And, with the whole "not getting picked for the team" thing, I'm very often one of the least thought of as being good, but I use it to my advantage. I can learn fast, and my team often has 5-10 minutes where nobody covers me because they don't see any reason to do so. Anyway, success in phys ed has a LOT more to do with effort than skill. I'm not overly fast or strong, but I can go CRAZY out there, and invaribly find myself among my team's best players.
 
#107
txbasschik said:
I think all of us have experienced bullying, to some degree. Some kids are just bullies. Some are worse than others.

The thing that troubles me most is that kids are *punished* for defending themselves against bullies. This teaches kids to keep quiet about it when someone harms them. It teaches kids to either accept violence against their person, or to believe that they have to take extreme steps. Some kids' extreme steps have proven very deadly indeed.

The way bullying is handled in schools frustrates the kids who are bullied, and makes them feel totally helpless. They are told to tell a teacher, but the teachers don't do anything to help them. We've experienced this with our son when he was younger, and it is *immensely* frustrating!

When we, as parents, try to get the school to do something, its always "have the boys shake hands in front of the parents and principal and promise to try to be friends". I'm not kidding! After that, the bully continues on as before, and nothing changes.

This is no way to handle bullying, but it is how many American schools "handle" it. By not handling it, and punishing children who defend themselves.

Cherie
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+1. Very well said, Cherie.
 
#108
Thanks, Bob and Kelly. I finally gave up on the school's non-handling of the bully situation when my boy was in middle school. By 8th grade, I told him to just go ahead and defend himself, even if he got punished for it at school. If he didn't pick the fight, I saw no reason to punish him further at home.

He had a problem with a bully in 9th grade for a while, and when the guy punched him the face in the hallway, surrounded by students watching all this, my son just came clean unwelded. Had to be pulled off the guy. This bully had been picking on him every, single day for over six months, and he couldn't take anymore.

No one messes with him anymore. We did a week in ISS, and he's not had any more problems.

All these kids grew up with the "zero-tolerance" crap, and all it did was make them fearful. Showing a willingness to defend one's self, even if flaunting school rules to do it, did more than all the years of nonsensical rules and "you can't play this game" garbage ever did.

Cherie
 
#109
txbasschik said:
I think all of us have experienced bullying, to some degree. Some kids are just bullies. Some are worse than others.

The thing that troubles me most is that kids are *punished* for defending themselves against bullies. This teaches kids to keep quiet about it when someone harms them. It teaches kids to either accept violence against their person, or to believe that they have to take extreme steps. Some kids' extreme steps have proven very deadly indeed.

The way bullying is handled in schools frustrates the kids who are bullied, and makes them feel totally helpless. They are told to tell a teacher, but the teachers don't do anything to help them. We've experienced this with our son when he was younger, and it is *immensely* frustrating!

When we, as parents, try to get the school to do something, its always "have the boys shake hands in front of the parents and principal and promise to try to be friends". I'm not kidding! After that, the bully continues on as before, and nothing changes.

This is no way to handle bullying, but it is how many American schools "handle" it. By not handling it, and punishing children who defend themselves.

Cherie
Click to expand...
And this is exactly how things like Columbine happen.

Spend long years being picked on by the popular kids who are coddled by the school because they are the stars of the athletic teams, and you will know to your bones that no official complaint from you will achieve anything. So take it to the next level and try to kill everyone who ever annoyed you.

It happens.
 

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