Small Jam - Assorted Egos: What I learned last night.

[rickdog]

Sigh. Male dominance ritual, often a symptom of insecurity. Sort of like small dogs who bark ferociously, hoping you'll think they're bigger than they actually are.

Just keep on keepin' on, soon you'll be gigging in a band and he'll still be annoying people at jams.

 

[LBS-bass]

A word to those suggesting that jams are pointless, boring, go learn songs, etc.

I "learned songs" for most of my early musical career and spent a good portion of that time terrified to make a mistake because I had zero idea how to fix things if I got lost or ended up in the wrong place. I had good ears but zero improvational skills with my fingers, and no ability to translate what I heard in my head to what I was doing with my hands.

Regurgitating songs is not learning music. It's painting by numbers.

I don't much care for the blues either. I don't listen to the blues when I'm in the mood to hear music, but I also didn't learn how to listen to other musicians and respond to them improvisationally until I started going to a weekly private jam with a couple of friends. It was there, and only there, that I felt free to explore things I would be too terrified to do on a stage at a real show, and it was there that I honed my best chops and learned how to get my fingers to go where my ears were telling them to go without having to upchuck some riff or phrase that I'd learned.

So everyone needs to stop discouraging Diana from doing something that might have great value for her. That goes for grabby hands guy, too.

 

[zubrycky]

One of the advantages of my wild geezerbutlerian way of playing is that no one approaches me onstage...

 

[LBS-bass]

Thanks. I'm finding that being a small blonde woman has it's disadvantages, but they underestimate me. The best takeaway for me is seeing how many people I've just met at these things who support me, and many of the best players are sharing their own journeys with me now. And of course HERE, the support is just phenomenal. So grateful.

I'm also a small, blonde woman, and I've walked into more than my share of rooms and auditions where people looked at me askance with that little smirk that says, "yeah, right."

Then I get up and wipe the floor with those guys because I know how to play better than most of them. And they always respect that. So the bottom line, my friend, is to keep doing what you're doing because you're going to be just fine. Keep learning, keep stretching, and pretty soon you'll be in a place where people just wish they had what you have!

 

[zubrycky]

I love jam sessions. It's awesome to just play with nothing prepared.

Hermeto Pascoal, a great brazilian musician, said once "a musician who does not improvise is an improvised musician".

 

[turf3]

I'm also a small, blonde woman, and I've walked into more than my share of rooms and auditions where people looked at me askance with that little smirk that says, "yeah, right."

Then I get up and wipe the floor with those guys because I know how to play better than most of them. And they always respect that. So the bottom line, my friend, is to keep doing what you're doing because you're going to be just fine. Keep learning, keep stretching, and pretty soon you'll be in a place where people just wish they had what you have!

Ah yes, the insecure male thing.

I think it's salutary for young men to do some competitive athletics in fields where women excel - like running, cycling, etc. When you find as a studly 25 year old male that your time in the 10k puts you in tenth place, in the category "Women Over 60", it breeds a little humility.

 

[bassbrowser]

Keep learning, keep stretching, and pretty soon you'll be in a place where people just wish they had what you have!

Yes. And not this only, but keep your memory on how was feeling to be insulted and make sure new people you play with later must not feel this way also. Of course you will, but maybe is lesson for others to learn. Be like good people on that stage who supported you, not like bad person who have this attitude. Every body is new at some time, I think nobody arrive here as baby with their bass already in hands (if you did, sorry to your mother because the birth would be much pain this way!).

 

[JRA]

per the OP/discussion:

happens! and it takes all kinds. sorry you had a bad experience! FWIW: most of us have had comparable experiences while 'coming up' on our instrument(s), so you're not alone in having negative experiences with others whose agendas are/were different than your own...just sayin.

IME/IMO: one way to "get even" is to practice! playing with the confidence that comes from practicing a lot (and playing) sort of defies others to make moves like your insecure goofball did.

let it go: it's one foolish, insecure knob --- and you have support for your own journey/efforts! good luck!

 

[Confunk]

Thanks. I'm finding that being a small blonde woman has it's disadvantages, but they underestimate me. The best takeaway for me is seeing how many people I've just met at these things who support me, and many of the best players are sharing their own journeys with me now. And of course HERE, the support is just phenomenal. So grateful.

You'll get the bill shortly.

 

[turf3]

Thanks. I'm finding that being a small blonde woman has it's disadvantages, but they underestimate me. The best takeaway for me is seeing how many people I've just met at these things who support me, and many of the best players are sharing their own journeys with me now. And of course HERE, the support is just phenomenal. So grateful.

Don't forget, Esperanza Spalding is a small, brunette woman, and NO ONE underestimates her!

 

[aprod]

Hi,
It's in the Bay Area, at the most delightful little dive bar.

Antlers in Crockett?

 

[Richard Lindsey]

Antlers in Crockett?

I was gonna guess Antlers in Pinole. There's an Antlers in Crockett?

 

[fishdude101101]

I am sorry, there are some %$#@$ at jams. you did better than I would have. its a jam !! not a paying gig !! . Notice when he is there and dont open your case until he quits. Jams are good learning experiences. What I did was listen to other solo guys, ask them if you can play bass for them for a few songs. If you can jive, ask to play more songs. I did this and have played bass for the same guy for over 6 years, by the way, its OK to miss a note.

Anyone who's never missed a note on a gig has never played one.

 

[aprod]

I was gonna guess Antlers in Pinole. There's an Antlers in Crockett?

You're right, Pinole.

 

[DianaBass]

Don't forget, Esperanza Spalding is a small, brunette woman, and NO ONE underestimates her!

But you know they probably did at first, at their peril. She's amazing.

 

[DianaBass]

I'm also a small, blonde woman, and I've walked into more than my share of rooms and auditions where people looked at me askance with that little smirk that says, "yeah, right."

Then I get up and wipe the floor with those guys because I know how to play better than most of them. And they always respect that. So the bottom line, my friend, is to keep doing what you're doing because you're going to be just fine. Keep learning, keep stretching, and pretty soon you'll be in a place where people just wish they had what you have!

Thank you, this is so valuable.

 

[Richard Lindsey]

You're right, Pinole.

Thought so, it's near me.

 

[Ben Esparza]

I've gone to a few blues jams over the years. Maybe it was bad luck on my part, but I expected them to be a great place to network and find like-minded musicians to play with. After a while, I kept seeing the same musicians at different jams. It turned out the only playing out they were interested in were blues jams and not organized bands.

One guy kinda irked me at one of them. He was a guitarist who sang. It was obvious after a while he was just there to show off his guitar and singing chops to his friends and family. He played and sang "Yer Blues" by the Beatles and "Since I've Been Loving You" by LZ. These are not typical 12-bar changes which most of us know how to navigate. Even a few odd minor changes can be navigable. However, you gotta know those tunes to accompany. He played those tunes solely to make himself shine and indirectly shame the other musicians (not me). A smirk and jerking of his head that he gave to his supporters said it all. Adding insult, after they cheered him on with whoops and hollers when he finished, they all, including him, got up and left. Some people need their asses kicked.

 

[johnh89]

I can't be dealing with ego of any kind . I tend to just stay clear of people like that in all walks of life . It makes my life a whole lot less stressful . Human beings as a species are vermin . Individually they are fine . (mostly )

 

[5StringBlues]

Psycho drummer boy requested that we play since I've been loving you last night at our jam. We all laughed at him and counted off a shuffle.

I've gone to a few blues jams over the years. Maybe it was bad luck on my part, but I expected them to be a great place to network and find like-minded musicians to play with. After a while, I kept seeing the same musicians at different jams. It turned out the only playing out they were interested in were blues jams and not organized bands.

One guy kinda irked me at one of them. He was a guitarist who sang. It was obvious after a while he was just there to show off his guitar and singing chops to his friends and family. He played and sang "Yer Blues" by the Beatles and "Since I've Been Loving You" by LZ. These are not typical 12-bar changes which most of us know how to navigate. Even a few odd minor changes can be navigable. However, you gotta know those tunes to accompany. He played those tunes solely to make himself shine and indirectly shame the other musicians (not me). A smirk and jerking of his head that he gave to his supporters said it all. Adding insult, after they cheered him on with whoops and hollers when he finished, they all, including him, got up and left. Some people need their asses kicked.