Strictly unofficial FAQ

[nilorius]

Too many questions, i think i would wrote something wrong and be punished by support team and i don't want that. Sorry !

 

[laristotle]

Can I play bass with a pick?

You're taking your chances

 

[dadglasser]

6. What's the best bass for soft rock?

6a. What's the best rock for soft rock?
​

Sponge Rock (Large), Stage Magic

Sponge Rock (Large)
Perfect for a sight gag, this large sponge rock has many uses.
(including, but not limited to hitting the drummer before firing {NOTE: do NOT fire the rock!})

 

[knumbskull]

Q: are expensive basses really worth it?
A: yes if you can afford them, no if you can’t

 

[lark_z]

23. (blah...blah...blah) finish ..........?

TruOil

 

[LUCE]

For entertainment purposes only, love and light to you all!

1. Which P bass should I get?
I don't know, do you have a favorite flavor of vanilla ice cream?

2. Which kind of flats should I get for my flats?
Uhhhhh

3. Which color pickguard will make me a better bassist?
Tort made with carrot cellulose

4. What's the best [body wood|fretboard wood|amp|cab|pedal|strings|pickguard] for tone?
Tone is in the fingers. But you definitely need [heavy|light] [body|fingerboard] wood, an SVT, a fridge, at least a dozen pedals, flats and tort.

5. Lines on a fretless?
Of course! (not!)

6. What's the best bass for soft rock?
See question 1.

7. Should I get a short scale?
You should get all the basses.

8. What bass sounds the most like an upright?
An upright.

9. What's my bass worth?
YOU HAVE TO BE A SUPPORTING MEMBER TO ASK THAT (NO YOU DON'T) YES YOU DO etc

10. What kind of bass is this? (grainy Youtube video of a concert from 1973 with a .5 second shot of the bass, partly obscured)
It's definitely a ______; ______ was known to play those from January of 1973 to March of 1973, so that concert is probably from that time frame and you can tell from the headstock it's a.....

11. (Any question that's been asked previously in the past 10 years)
Have you tried the search function? (SOME OF US LIKE TO REHASH THINGS) (The search function doesn't work) (those threads are 10 years old) (I like carrots) (tort)

12. Which [pickup|strings|pickguard|tonewood] will make my P bass sit in the mix the best?
See question 1.

13. What's the obsession with carrots around here?
There is an answer, but it isn't satisfactory, so don't bother looking.

14. My new bass has a fast neck.
No it doesn't.

15. It plays like butter!
Have you ever actually held a stick of butter in your bare hand?

16. (Any question about the drummer)
Fire the drummer.

17. How do I get the guitarist to play quieter?
Put a sheet of music in front of him.

18. Did you hear about the sax player who locked his keys in the car?
Yeah, he had to break out the window to let the drummer out.

19. How can you tell when it's the drummer at your door?
The knocking speeds up.

20. How can you tell when it's the singer at the door?
can't find the key; doesn't know when to come in

Magnificently Done!

 

[Iroquoisroadwarrior]

This.is.the.greatest.post.i've.ever.read.here.

 

[Tom Kinter]

For entertainment purposes only, love and light to you all!

1. Which P bass should I get?
I don't know, do you have a favorite flavor of vanilla ice cream?

2. Which kind of flats should I get for my flats?
Uhhhhh

3. Which color pickguard will make me a better bassist?
Tort made with carrot cellulose

4. What's the best [body wood|fretboard wood|amp|cab|pedal|strings|pickguard] for tone?
Tone is in the fingers. But you definitely need [heavy|light] [body|fingerboard] wood, an SVT, a fridge, at least a dozen pedals, flats and tort.

5. Lines on a fretless?
Of course! (not!)

6. What's the best bass for soft rock?
See question 1.

7. Should I get a short scale?
You should get all the basses.

8. What bass sounds the most like an upright?
An upright.

9. What's my bass worth?
YOU HAVE TO BE A SUPPORTING MEMBER TO ASK THAT (NO YOU DON'T) YES YOU DO etc

10. What kind of bass is this? (grainy Youtube video of a concert from 1973 with a .5 second shot of the bass, partly obscured)
It's definitely a ______; ______ was known to play those from January of 1973 to March of 1973, so that concert is probably from that time frame and you can tell from the headstock it's a.....

11. (Any question that's been asked previously in the past 10 years)
Have you tried the search function? (SOME OF US LIKE TO REHASH THINGS) (The search function doesn't work) (those threads are 10 years old) (I like carrots) (tort)

12. Which [pickup|strings|pickguard|tonewood] will make my P bass sit in the mix the best?
See question 1.

13. What's the obsession with carrots around here?
There is an answer, but it isn't satisfactory, so don't bother looking.

14. My new bass has a fast neck.
No it doesn't.

15. It plays like butter!
Have you ever actually held a stick of butter in your bare hand?

16. (Any question about the drummer)
Fire the drummer.

17. How do I get the guitarist to play quieter?
Put a sheet of music in front of him.

18. Did you hear about the sax player who locked his keys in the car?
Yeah, he had to break out the window to let the drummer out.

19. How can you tell when it's the drummer at your door?
The knocking speeds up.

20. How can you tell when it's the singer at the door?
can't find the key; doesn't know when to come in

well done!

have to add 2:

What's the difference between a trombone player crossing the road and a frog crossing the road?
The frog might have a gig.

How do you keep your violin from being stolen?
Keep it in a viola case.

 

[Lowbrow]

Q: What are Ohms, and where can I buy them?

 

[Richard Martin]

I love number 17

17. How do I get the guitarist to play quieter?
Put a sheet of music in front of him.

I will be putting some sheet music into my pile of papers. Does it work for drummers too?

 

[JeezyMcNuggles]

For entertainment purposes only, love and light to you all!

1. Which P bass should I get?
I don't know, do you have a favorite flavor of vanilla ice cream?

2. Which kind of flats should I get for my flats?
Uhhhhh

3. Which color pickguard will make me a better bassist?
Tort made with carrot cellulose

4. What's the best [body wood|fretboard wood|amp|cab|pedal|strings|pickguard] for tone?
Tone is in the fingers. But you definitely need [heavy|light] [body|fingerboard] wood, an SVT, a fridge, at least a dozen pedals, flats and tort.

5. Lines on a fretless?
Of course! (not!)

6. What's the best bass for soft rock?
See question 1.

7. Should I get a short scale?
You should get all the basses.

8. What bass sounds the most like an upright?
An upright.

9. What's my bass worth?
YOU HAVE TO BE A SUPPORTING MEMBER TO ASK THAT (NO YOU DON'T) YES YOU DO etc

10. What kind of bass is this? (grainy Youtube video of a concert from 1973 with a .5 second shot of the bass, partly obscured)
It's definitely a ______; ______ was known to play those from January of 1973 to March of 1973, so that concert is probably from that time frame and you can tell from the headstock it's a.....

11. (Any question that's been asked previously in the past 10 years)
Have you tried the search function? (SOME OF US LIKE TO REHASH THINGS) (The search function doesn't work) (those threads are 10 years old) (I like carrots) (tort)

12. Which [pickup|strings|pickguard|tonewood] will make my P bass sit in the mix the best?
See question 1.

13. What's the obsession with carrots around here?
There is an answer, but it isn't satisfactory, so don't bother looking.

14. My new bass has a fast neck.
No it doesn't.

15. It plays like butter!
Have you ever actually held a stick of butter in your bare hand?

16. (Any question about the drummer)
Fire the drummer.

17. How do I get the guitarist to play quieter?
Put a sheet of music in front of him.

18. Did you hear about the sax player who locked his keys in the car?
Yeah, he had to break out the window to let the drummer out.

19. How can you tell when it's the drummer at your door?
The knocking speeds up.

20. How can you tell when it's the singer at the door?
can't find the key; doesn't know when to come in

21. Help me decide between these two combo amps.

You don't want those, get this head and cabinet.


22. My amp is 500w @ 4 ohms. Am I able to safely pair it with this cab thats rated for 800w @ 8 ohms? I don't want to hurt my amp with all that extra power from the cab.

 

[bassdude51]

I have ADD, I could only get to #4

LOL! Excellent post!

I also have ADD and "locked up" at #1 when I read to the word.........P Bass. (Can't find my Ritalin.)

 

[JRA]

"What upright sounds most like a P bass?"

 

[Steadfast]

HILARIOUS!!!!

 

[Sixgunn]

My new bass has a fast neck. <=== Good one.

I have all my basses sorted by neck speed; fast, faster, & fastest. None have a slow neck.....

All of my basses have nitrous necks and some are turbo charged.

 

[Sixgunn]

This.is.the.greatest.post.i've.ever.read.here.

You're. Supposed. To. Capitalize. After. Periods. Period.

 

[Sixgunn]

well done!

have to add 2:

What's the difference between a trombone player crossing the road and a frog crossing the road?
The frog might have a gig.

How do you keep your violin from being stolen?
Keep it in a viola case.

What happened when the bagpiper left his bagpipes in the back seat of his unlocked car?
Some put two more bagpipes and a banjo back there!

 

[ugly_bassplayer]

What's the best compressor to compress compression and get a good phat compressed uncompressed tone?

 

[Ggaa]

Mediocre Guitar Player, special Bass Edition....

 

[dadglasser]

All of my basses have nitrous necks and some are turbo charged.

...and some are super charged: