Suicide and those quietly considering it

[masonsjax]

I am fortunate enough to be very stable emotionally. I am the person my friends and family rely on when they need support. I handle stress well, and rarely have negative thoughts. A couple of months ago, I had a lot of life's frustrations piling up (as they tend to do), starting with the death of a very close motherly type figure. For some reason, I couldn't deal with any of it. This is very out of character for me. For the first time in my life, I felt physically ill from anxiety. I felt hopeless.

This continued for about 3-4 weeks, until I finally remembered an experience my Cousin had last year. Out of the blue, he was inexplicably irritable. He was fighting with his wife, blowing up at customers, scaring his child, and he is a very gentle timid person. It turned out that the allergy medication he was taking was to blame. The very same over the counter medication that I had been trying out, Zyrtec. I stopped taking it immediately, and within 3 days, I was back to my normal self, ready to take on anything.

I share this anecdote just to help illustrate how delicate our bodies can be, particularly when it comes to our brain's chemical balance and how that affects our emotional state. I'm sure many people take Zyrtec without problems. My point is that everyone is different and sometimes it takes time and experimentation to find what works for you. If you have struggles, please seek help. This isn't something to be embarrassed about. This world isn't always easy to deal with. If you need to vent to someone, or need to take a daily vitamin to help you through it, by all means do whatever works.

 

[1SHOT1HIT]

The act of suicide In itself is NOT what makes them a victim, it is what lead up to it which makes them a victim.

Suicide is not chosen it just happens when the pain of living outweighs the will to endure the pain.

A good scenario I was reading once upon a time.

The defenseless, innocent, VICTIMS in the twin towers 9/11/01 that committed suicide when they jumped to their deaths to avoid the agonizing feelings of burning alive.
Or as you refer to them the COWARDS that were to big of pussies to withstand the heat.
Those selfish thoughtless people that should have waited and allowed it to happen naturally instead of taking control of their own end.


Anyway there's nothing inside of that person that WANTS to die but there comes a point where the pain from the heat is so intense ANYTHING is a relief even jumping to a quicker death through the window.
ANYTHING is better than knowingly putting yourself through scolding pain.

As far as the word careless not registering with you. Lol

You can meet an A-hole that has never heard or understands the term A-hole at all.
But at the end of the day he's still an A-hole.

I know quite a few people that I'd personally think are some of the biggest douche bags in the world that would have absolutely no idea what the term meant. Therefor the word would not register with them, it doesn't mean their not still a huge douche bag.

Just the same as you can say that the word. Classless doesn't register with you all you'd like, it doesn't take away from the fact that you have no class man.

 

[sandmangeck]

Pawn,
I see your obsessed with the guy that od'd from slipknot. You realize that death by drugs is suicide right?
Is one of your idols a coward?

 

[1SHOT1HIT]

So let's tally this stuff up so far Xthedeadpawn ,

So far you said you ALMOST cut your wrists in a suicide attempt, but didn't follow through but were excited about dying and thought "I wonder what would happen if I just cut myself open"

Which leads me to believe you sat around thinking about it but never cut anything.

Then you say later that you feel your entitled to judge others that have committed suicide because you tried it and decided to live.

Which leads me to think that your insinuating that you did actually cut yourself.
A bit contradicting to your original story.
Not to mention your deranged fantasies about what would happen if you cut yourself open as if you have some romantic lust with dearth, as you said you have a twisted , perverse fantasy about dying.
Its not even in the same ball park as someone suffering and wanting to no longer face their ongoing pains.
You desire death, they desire peace. Your twisted and have mommy / daddy issues , they are sick and have real life problems and need medical attention and counseling.


And let's add up the conditions you've claimed so far, okay.
Your Bi polar, clinically depressed, ADHD, OCD, with bouts of mania which is Bi polar 1 by the way, something id think you would know as a sufferer of the condition, Mentally ********, Suicidal, a masochist.

How many more things are you going to throw out there before this thread ends?
Next you'll tell us your also a schizophrenic, hypochondriac, suffering from multiple personality disorder, a pyromaniac that steals his gas and lighters so also a kleptomaniac.
Wouldn't surprise me if you stared in cartoons as an animaniac too.
Maybe because you have perverse thoughts about death we can assume your also sadomasochistic, a self proclaimed hero, the people's judge, a prophet, the messiah the anti Christ, lucifers cousin Jim's brother in laws best friend. A serial killer, a homicidal maniac, narcissist , sociopathic midget suffering gigantism, and from Aspergers syndrome, currently on the Atkins diet to fight your anorexia and problems with belemic behaiviors.

Right?



Honestly if I was your Dr. I'd diagnose you as suffering from (HPD) Histrionic Personality Disorder.

I think based on your comments it really describes you to a T .

Well just call it a trade out of opinions how bout it?
My uncle can be a coward and you can be an attention starved poster child for (HPD) treatment.

 

[sandmangeck]

Fibromyalgia FTW!

 

[HaMMerHeD]

My father committed suicide when I was 12, and my daughter's mother did the same about 2 years ago. I know how it affects families...and yet...life is frequently horrible, even knowing what I know, even with the experiences with it that I have had, it is still a challenge to keep going. I have some friends I can talk to. I have professional help. I feel deep down that I would never do it, but that doesn't stop me from thinking about it almost every day.

I find myself unduly annoyed with platitudes like "this too shall pass" and "don't give up!" and "it will get easier" and "dawn will come". Guess what...for some people, the "night" has been decades long, and for some people, things just don't get easier. It is a lot of work to simply fight for the will to live. It is a highly irrational thing, and it is easy to see that. Problem is, that doesn't make it any easier to deal with.

I live for my daughter. She is the light of life, and she's enough to make me get up every morning and struggle through every day. She doesn't make it easier. She just makes it worthwhile.

 

[MIJ-VI]

Did I mention I'm a masochist?
Also you guessed right I certaintly would say that to someones face.

Everybodies throwing around the word classless at me. I don't compute that word. The only class I know of is the lower, middle, and upper.


@MIJ I LOVE that documentary! I may in fact be numbed down to 1Shot's pain but, I doubt I'd view the suicide person as a victim. I am currently trying to get my Dr to wean me off of my meds. I advise everyone on ANTI-DEPRESSANTS or knows anyone who is to look this site up.

http://theicarusproject.net/

I contrary to what you may believe from my postings am on 1Shot's side. He's hurting and I really do feel sorry for him but, his Uncle I don't feel sympathy at all for him.

You see here's is the defention from Webster of a victim

1

: a living being sacrificed to a deity or in the performance of a religious rite


2

: one that is acted on and usually adversely affected by a force or agent <the schools are victims of the social system>: as a (1): one that is injured, destroyed, or sacrificed under any of various conditions <a victim of cancer> <a victim of the auto crash> <a murder victim> (

2): one that is subjected to oppression, hardship, or mistreatment <a frequent victim of political attacks> b: one that is tricked or duped <a con man's victim>

I don't see suicide anywhere on there do you?

Good! Just take it slow & easy and enjoy the ever-strengthening grip you'll have on your health and your future.

Thanks for the link to The Icarus Project. Its many useful assets includes a discussion forum: [Invalid or Expired Link Removed]

 

[1SHOT1HIT]

My father committed suicide when I was 12, and my daughter's mother did the same about 2 years ago. I know how it affects families...and yet...life is frequently horrible, even knowing what I know, even with the experiences with it that I have had, it is still a challenge to keep going. I have some friends I can talk to. I have professional help. I feel deep down that I would never do it, but that doesn't stop me from thinking about it almost every day.

I find myself unduly annoyed with platitudes like "this too shall pass" and "don't give up!" and "it will get easier" and "dawn will come". Guess what...for some people, the "night" has been decades long, and for some people, things just don't get easier. It is a lot of work to simply fight for the will to live. It is a highly irrational thing, and it is easy to see that. Problem is, that doesn't make it any easier to deal with.

I live for my daughter. She is the light of life, and she's enough to make me get up every morning and struggle through every day. She doesn't make it easier. She just makes it worthwhile.

Your not alone, damn near my exact thoughts often, word for word from start to finish, except keep going for my 3 kids and that will never change.

Another guy in this thread said he's suffered for months even capitalized it MONTHS he said.

I'd love for MONTHS to have been my only hurtle, I've been fighting thoughts since I was about 10.
When I went through my sons custody battle for four years and constantly thought I'd never win I got the closest I had ever been.
Putting your child back in the hands of his abuser every other Sunday and lying right to your kids face saying it'll be okay watching him cry and fight because he knows dad can't help him for another 2 weeks was hell.
I finally was able to prove my case and prove he was being abused and molested after 4 years almost.
All it took for the court to finally turn custody over to me was when my son contracted an STD at
3-1/2 years old.
Then both his mother and boyfriend tested positive for the same thing and refused to take their polygraph.

That is why I am beyond thankful I decided to hold on and fight and not cave in.
Had I of given up he's still be there because literally EVERYONE thought I was making it up or over reacting or wasting my time or just making claims up to win.

I now have Sole custody she has zero rights and I also have two younger children to depend on me.

Your right though they do make it worth while regardless of much else.

 

[1SHOT1HIT]

Fibromyalgia FTW!

 

[MIJ-VI]

*speechless*

 

[XtheDeadPawn]

So let's tally this stuff up so far Xthedeadpawn ,

So far you said you ALMOST cut your wrists in a suicide attempt, but didn't follow through but were excited about dying and thought "I wonder what would happen if I just cut myself open"

Which leads me to believe you sat around thinking about it but never cut anything.

Then you say later that you feel your entitled to judge others that have committed suicide because you tried it and decided to live.

Which leads me to think that your insinuating that you did actually cut yourself.
A bit contradicting to your original story.
Not to mention your deranged fantasies about what would happen if you cut yourself open as if you have some romantic lust with dearth, as you said you have a twisted , perverse fantasy about dying.
Its not even in the same ball park as someone suffering and wanting to no longer face their ongoing pains.
You desire death, they desire peace. Your twisted and have mommy / daddy issues , they are sick and have real life problems and need medical attention and counseling.


And let's add up the conditions you've claimed so far, okay.
Your Bi polar, clinically depressed, ADHD, OCD, with bouts of mania which is Bi polar 1 by the way, something id think you would know as a sufferer of the condition, Mentally ********, Suicidal, a masochist.

How many more things are you going to throw out there before this thread ends?
Next you'll tell us your also a schizophrenic, hypochondriac, suffering from multiple personality disorder, a pyromaniac that steals his gas and lighters so also a kleptomaniac.
Wouldn't surprise me if you stared in cartoons as an animaniac too.
Maybe because you have perverse thoughts about death we can assume your also sadomasochistic, a self proclaimed hero, the people's judge, a prophet, the messiah the anti Christ, lucifers cousin Jim's brother in laws best friend. A serial killer, a homicidal maniac, narcissist , sociopathic midget suffering gigantism, and from Aspergers syndrome, currently on the Atkins diet to fight your anorexia and problems with belemic behaiviors.

Right?



Honestly if I was your Dr. I'd diagnose you as suffering from (HPD) Histrionic Personality Disorder.

I think based on your comments it really describes you to a T .

Well just call it a trade out of opinions how bout it?
My uncle can be a coward and you can be an attention starved poster child for (HPD) treatment.

I don't have mommy issuses. My Dad maybe but, he gfrew up in an era where you didn't discuss mental diseases much less suicide issues. So he bottles things up and shows signs of mental illness as well as my big brother and I. My brother and I aren't real close to him eventhough we've lived in the same house as him. But, I digress.....

Before I do I dibs the band name "sociopathic midget"

I never ever claimed to cut myself in my suicide story so how can I contradict myself?

Also leave the Animaniacs out of this they are cartoons.
This is real life not some 2D childrens show. Real life is something that is dirty, cold, and dark. The world we create for ourselves helps us escape it. I'd rather live in it. This world chews up people and spits them out who are you or I to disagree with facts.

FACT: Your Uncle may have been a victim at the time of taking his life but, he isn't suffering now is he so does that still make him a victim or just another person who commited suicide?

FACT: I already said I didn't mean to offened you I just stated my opinion (however the fact my opinion offends you tickles me).

I feel like I'm repeating this too you but, your not getting it. Life is what you make it. Your Uncle didn't have to keep seeing that Doctor, he didn't have to keep taking those pills, he didn't have to take his own life.

No one held a gun to his head he did it himself common sense tells me if I do something to myself it's nobody elses fault but, mine. In the same vein if I keep getting bullied by people I hired to help me and don't stand up for myself I must like it because I'm not saying anything.

Your Uncle proabaly did try to say something and he definaetly did in the letters you say he sent. However if he put the same amount of effort in standing up for himself by exercising his patients rights he'd proabaly be alive right now.

 

[1SHOT1HIT]

Your absolutely right IF he wasn't under the impression that he was getting the help he needed and doing exactly what he should have been doing.

Anyway long story short your opinion is pointless to me and at no point and time have my emotions escalated even in the slightest amount.

I guess you get off on thinking you have emotionally hurt someone by insulting their dead relatives, but you'll have to get your kicks elsewhere. Sorry .
It'll take much more than a disagreement to get under my skin, your calling him a coward is not such a shock, many people view suicide one that commits suicide as a selfish coward, most of them make a conscience effort to not be disrespectful about it though.
It usually comes out before they know you have a close relative that did and then they immediately back pedal and try to not look like a complete thoughtless ass for saying something like that.


I'm in no way mad at you, he'll if you were here right now we could go sit and have drinks and finish this conversation.
Your entitled to your opinion and who am I to tell you your not, all I can do is say that when you share it you seem like a "classless" heartless human being.
No big deal hell there's plenty of them out there.

Actually the very day my uncle did it we had just spent the morning trying to search places frantically trying to find him before he did it.
I got the call at 5:30 am stating he had murdered my aunts lover at 10:30 the previous night so I knew at that second what he was going to do.
We got official word he did it at about 11 am and not even 5 minutes after I and all of my family are standing there my wonderful sister in law blurts out how selfish and cowardly he was for doing it.

Right in front of me my brothers, my uncles 4 kids, my grandmother.
I was the one that had to keep everyone off of her, it was like throwing a steak into a lions den.
It angered me but I realized that everyone has the right to grieve in their own way she chose to be mad at him and that's her right just as it is yours to think him and people like him are cowards.

My uncle removed a nut case from trying to become a father figure in his children's life.
The guy was off his rocker and made it clear he was going to take over my uncles children and antagonized him for 3 months.
Constant threats and much more.
Between this guy and my aunt they purposely tried to get him to break and tear him down mentally so he wouldn't fight for custody and the house their plan was that he would just walk away after a while and give up.

Surprise , surprise I guess.
In his note he included every email between the three of them and I'm actually surprised he stayed calm as long as he did.

None the less all I'm hoping you'll do is try and refrain from insulting people's deceased relatives. Regardless of why they are deceased or how they got there, or how they lived before hand.

You know what's ironic, this guy called my uncle a coward several times through the emails back and fourth and not once did he respond rudely or lose his cool.
Well until that last one where he started talking about taking my uncles kids and getting them to call him dad and some other pretty off the wall stuff.

There's such a long story I can't even start to cover it all on here but there are many things he did I don't agree with and many choices he made that I myself would not have, but one thing he was not was a coward.

 

[Stinsok]

First thing, don't do it. Get help. If you do solve your own problem you create huge problems for those left behind. In my family, my brother in law blew his brains out with a .45 auto in the basement. Imagine waking up to that. In addition to living with that, my sister had to stay in that house forever because who wants to buy a "suicide" house? The same thing happened to one of my closest friends. Sister shot herself. A mountain of problems for the survivors. Another close friend's sister chose to OD. She had time to think about what she had done, called for help but it was too late. Again, more lives shattered. My brother in law and my friend's sister probably didn't realize just how little effort it takes to pull a trigger. If they had the chance for a redux they would probably choose to live.

 

[BogeyBass]

I have never cried from reading a thread.
Felt sad or depressed from a thread, yes.
Never cried before, my eyes still water and my hands shake as I write this.
I wish I knew what else to say, other than I have shared tears with people on the internet and your strength I admire.

 

[1958Bassman]

I don't think the world is any more violent now than it was in the 30s. Things may seem more violent and grim because negatives make the news and global media means we hear things from all over the planet when, even 20 years ago things would have flown under the radar.

We too frequently view the past with rose tinted glasses.

Really? You think Mexican drug cartels and Islamic fundamentalists were decapitating, shooting and blowing up people by the thousands? Did you know that the Mexican cartels have killed about 47000 people since 2000? How many wars were going on in the 1930s? NONE! The only thing that could be considered similar was the mobs and they weren't operating world-wide to the extent gangs are now. The US had less than 150 Million people and we have more than double that number now.

I'm 55 and I remember the early '60s vividly. If someone killed another person, it would definitely have made the news and I never wear rose colored glasses when I think about the past.

 

[1SHOT1HIT]

I have never cried from reading a thread.
Felt sad or depressed from a thread, yes.
Never cried before, my eyes still water and my hands shake as I write this.
I wish I knew what else to say, other than I have shared tears with people on the internet and your strength I admire.

Aww c'mon there's no crying in Talkbass now.

 

[Relic]

Really? You think Mexican drug cartels and Islamic fundamentalists were decapitating, shooting and blowing up people by the thousands? Did you know that the Mexican cartels have killed about 47000 people since 2000? How many wars were going on in the 1930s? NONE! The only thing that could be considered similar was the mobs and they weren't operating world-wide to the extent gangs are now. The US had less than 150 Million people and we have more than double that number now.

I'm 55 and I remember the early '60s vividly. If someone killed another person, it would definitely have made the news and I never wear rose colored glasses when I think about the past.

You don't need war to kill people. Only ideals.

Actually they kind of lost count of how many Ukrainians were killed it the 1930's. Some estimates range up to 40 million. They were resorting to cannibalism at times. Makes the Mexican drug war look almost amateur

 

[MIJ-VI]

Folks in China got a raw deal in the 1930's too.

 

[nickbass79]

You don't need war to kill people. Only ideals.

Actually they kind of lost count of how many Ukrainians were killed it the 1930's. Some estimates range up to 40 million. They were resorting to cannibalism at times. Makes the Mexican drug war look almost amateur

Yeah, genocide tends to trump any amateur like the cartels. I think pre-WWII Poland murdered 40,000 innocent Jewish civilians in one day. Disturbing. Think of the civilian casualties in WWII compared to modern day civ-cas. 10s of millions to tens of thousands. Sad on both accounts.

 

[1SHOT1HIT]

Yep, people have been dying at the hands of nuts for many many moons.

I think it's safe to say that it's been a pretty comparative amount when you factor in the number of deaths to the worlds population at any given time.

Then again really If you do that I'd have to lean more towards it being better today than its ever been.
We don't have mass genocide like back then so that would lead me to think less population higher death counts= worse time.

Although I also see the other side of the coin, today is a more violent society, almost to the point many are numb to it so to speak.

You look at let's say a 12-13 year old American male of today , compared to one in America of the 30's
And today's young teen is absolutely more exposed to death and violence.

It's really a no win situation. No time is better or worse IMO, it's all surrounded with some pretty disgusting acts of some pretty inhumane behavior.