Ive thought about suicide before, since I have been dealing with depression and bipolar disorder for a long time, but everytime i think about it, I picture all the women of my family crying for their lifes which makes me doubt my own self about suicide. I can't leave all that sorrow in their hearts, thats why now I do what makes me happy and I also do what I have to do in society. Life is hard but I think it makes it better when you realize all the people that care about you. All this coming from a guy who had a blade in his neck ready to end it all until I saw mons face...
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Suicide and those quietly considering it
- Thread starter i_got_a_mohawk
- Start date
Byron92 said:
Good choice, and If that's what keeps you moving forward DON'T EVER forget it.
Your 200% right, it leaves an indescribable empty mess <--- (that was a typo which should have said emptiness but I liked the auto correct choice better)
Interesting.
Okay sorry.
Yeah, there's a void left that may very well be one of the absolute hardest holes to refill the heart can handle.
This reminds me of a picture of my grandmother I have at my uncles funeral. The empty look on her face can be seen even through her sunglasses as she stands with a death grip around her dead sons photo that he took for her the day before he did it.
I'm tempted to post it, maybe it'll serve as a reminder to others the pain that it leaves behind.
Here, this is what I mean. One of the most heartbreaking memories I have held onto over the past almost 6 years now.
Something about this has burned into my memory and may never go away.
I'll probably pull this down later today, I hope you are able to see what I mean before then.
Anyone that may consider quoting this message please delete the photo link from the quoted message. I would rather not see this on future pages throughout this thread. Thanks for your understanding.
Yep. I recognize that look... as I said, I had a relative recently commit suicide. He and his mom were both "friends" on my FB. Every day I see his profile still there, like he's alive and well but he's gone... His mom sees it too. She's always posting things about angels and mother's love, she posts pics of him as a kid and states how proud she is and stuff like that. She's pretty much hollowed out inside at the moment and I dont think she'll ever recover... If he had taken just a minute to think about what his death would do to her, like if he could see all of this, I dont think he would have ever done it 
Yeah, it's a difficult thing to ever know for sure.
I'd like to think that if I could rewind the tape a bit and show this to my uncle that night before while we were sitting at Hooter's having a good time, that maybe he'd not follow through with it.
But once I was able to see the letter the day after and read the personal section he left to each person, it was very apparent he had weighed out the hurt he'd leave behind and still felt that there just was no other way.
You could tell he thought that he was doing his kids a favor in his troubling way of rationalizing things. He wasn't willing to allow this other man to come in and destroy his children, and play the head games with them he had been playing with my uncle for the previous three moths.
That in itself is why I don't see him as a coward, although in his state of mind he was painfully wrong, it doesn't change the fact that in his mind he was taking a bullet for his children.
I don't have to agree with his thinking to be able to understand the willingness to do whatever it takes to protect your children even stepping in front of a bullet and dying if need be.
And in his head it is clear he felt that was his only remedy to the situation that would assure those kids would ever be around this other guy. Yes in the end he failed his kids and made some horrible decisions I know. But I choose to look at his last moments as the incredible father figure he was to me growing up and awesome father he was to my cousins.
I'd like to think that if I could rewind the tape a bit and show this to my uncle that night before while we were sitting at Hooter's having a good time, that maybe he'd not follow through with it.
But once I was able to see the letter the day after and read the personal section he left to each person, it was very apparent he had weighed out the hurt he'd leave behind and still felt that there just was no other way.
You could tell he thought that he was doing his kids a favor in his troubling way of rationalizing things. He wasn't willing to allow this other man to come in and destroy his children, and play the head games with them he had been playing with my uncle for the previous three moths.
That in itself is why I don't see him as a coward, although in his state of mind he was painfully wrong, it doesn't change the fact that in his mind he was taking a bullet for his children.
I don't have to agree with his thinking to be able to understand the willingness to do whatever it takes to protect your children even stepping in front of a bullet and dying if need be.
And in his head it is clear he felt that was his only remedy to the situation that would assure those kids would ever be around this other guy. Yes in the end he failed his kids and made some horrible decisions I know. But I choose to look at his last moments as the incredible father figure he was to me growing up and awesome father he was to my cousins.
I dont see him as a coward at all.
A real dad, would sacrifice anything for his kids. It's what a dad does. Sometimes it means working two jobs to provide for them, sometimes it means having your kids furious at you because you wont let them hang with a "bad" crowd, whatever, it doesn't matter. The point is that a dad pretty much every day is faced with tough decisions he has to make. While what your uncle did was really misguided, if there's anything about it that strikes me hard - it's the fact that what he did, he did it for them. That doesn't make him a coward. He made a very bad choice, a very wrong one, but it took balls to make that choice.
A real dad, would sacrifice anything for his kids. It's what a dad does. Sometimes it means working two jobs to provide for them, sometimes it means having your kids furious at you because you wont let them hang with a "bad" crowd, whatever, it doesn't matter. The point is that a dad pretty much every day is faced with tough decisions he has to make. While what your uncle did was really misguided, if there's anything about it that strikes me hard - it's the fact that what he did, he did it for them. That doesn't make him a coward. He made a very bad choice, a very wrong one, but it took balls to make that choice.
Very well said, EVEN if others may think that's not the case, hell even if it's just flat out not the case, it's exactly how I CHOOSE to remember him,as do the rest of my family as well.
Thank you for the kind words.
The homocide rate in the US between 1920 and 1940 was higher than it is today.
I'm sure the drug cartels were still killing people, just not in the numbers that they are now, but then other groups are less active now than they were then. Swings and roundabouts, there are always people killing each other.
Relic also makes a great point about eastern-europe/the soviet block. The "great purge" and the rise of Stalin killed millions.
If someone killed another person, it made the news, but where were they? In another town? Another state? Another country? Just looking at the US There were 9,110 murders in the US in 1960. I suspect the tiniest fraction of that made it beyond the local news.
179.3 million people in the US in 1960, 9,110 murders.
308.7 million people in the US in 2010, 14,748 murders.
Murder rate in 1960: ~5 per 100,000
Murder rate in 2010: ~4.7 per 100,000
On that front, things haven't changed much.
News didn't travel as far or as fast (unless it was major). Heck, look at what happened with Chernobyl, that was only '86 and it took days (if not weeks) for information to start hitting western shores (granted, much of that was political, but something that big would not be withheld by time these days, because of the mass availability of mobile tech).
Compare the news breaking on Chernobyl to that of the World Trade Center attacks, which were almost instant, so much so that most of the world saw the second plane hit live.
Way off topic but where did you read that? I studied Polish history (even lived there) and never heard that. There were pogroms in the interwar period, some bad stuff done, the victims between 1919 and 1939 numbering in the hundreds but 40,000 in a day? That's a first. Horrible if true, but I'm a bit skeptical of that number.
and if you want to read about depravity in the 1930's:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nanking_Massacre
yes, we've been screwed up for a while now as a species. Nothing new to see
I'd say that children (in the west) from ~1900-2000 were a bit more sheltered from the outside world that they were before. And these days they have more access to all the nasty goings on via newer media (ie, the internet).
I don't think media has said "It wasn't that bad" so much as we, ourselves, see such bad things in the media, so regularly (the worst of the worst makes for better news) that we become partially desensitised to it.
Funny you should mention that, was talking about this with someone earlier today. Apparently the local council from back home are starting enquiries because Perth & Kinross seems to be having a similar trend developing. Last weekend, there were 3 suicides (all male IIRC) in Perth and also the suicide in my hometown. Considering Perth only has a population of ~45,000, it's a fairly steep number, and apparently it has been much higher, statistically, that the rest of the UK for the past 6months-year.
If the number of Russians killed during WWII is accurate (roughly 25 Million), it's amazing they had any left. I had never heard about that, but I would imagine it only came out after Gorbachev because I doubt the info would have been released before but that was done by the government, right? In Mexico, it's cartels being left to do what they want, by a government that should be removed and replaced with someone who gives a rat's butt about the people of that country.
I say that I think people suck and are a big disappointment to me and am told that I'm being too negative by others. At the moment, I'm watching the video of the moron who put the baby in the washing machine and I really don't think it's me who has the problem.
Sorry, I misspoke, which is the reason I put I think before my post because I couldn't remember exact stats. It was Riga, Latvia, and it was estimated to 25K or more in two days in the Rumbula Forrest.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Riga_Ghetto
So damn true...
You look at what's going on in Mexico and in the Middle East - the drug cartels, terrorism... all that stuff is designed to scare, to intimidate, to make a statement, to get attention and so on. And in a twisted way, it works great. Watch the news. Every other day you hear about a suicide bomber, or another x-amount of headless bodies found in Mexico. It's easy to assign a great impact to it. We pay attention.
Now, look back at the holocaust, the forced Ukrainian starvation in the 1930's, the Armenians, even go a little further back and look into our own "house " - the near genocide of the native American population. That stuff scares me a lot more. Why? Because it's not for attention, it's not for show, it's not designed to scare and to bully, it's one purpose? To simply exterminate. THAT is f-ing scary.
Sounds like he had decided that this guy had to go and he was the one who needed to do it, but knew he wouldn't be able to live with himself after the act or couldn't live with his kids seeing him as a murderer.
1958Bassman said:
Yep, there was no way he was going to let his kids see him rot away in some prison.
He hints at this through his letter.
Now in no way do I find his taking matters into his own hands right, I feel just as sad for that guys family as I do our own, but the two of them (this guy and my aunt) played a dangerous game with someone else's emotions.
They did it purposely and maliciously and found out the hard way EVERYONE has a breaking point and some flat out explode.
None the less your exactly right, he was very big about his children and wasn't willing to leave anything to chance.
