The Songwriting Mega Thread

[rtslinger]

Okay not sure where you are going with that? If a band from the US plays in France they don't perform their songs in French? They usually say hello in the given langue
I guess if you are trying to get into a market that crosses over into different langues and for recording purposes, you would have to re-write stuff because sometimes the translation isn't going to work.
Your goal at that point is try to get your point across using a different phrase not to mention things not only don't translate the rhyme and delivery most likely is going to change

simplest example
I could say fish head in a song in English
but Spanish it becomes Cabeza de pescado
that translates correctly back as head of fish
now I have 3 words instead of two and that may no longer fit the lyrics melody fanatically, so it would be the challenge.

 

[10cc]

Funny translation came up. I had some lyrics once that were in English. I then translated them into Swahili then to another language that I can't remember and then back to English. When they came back around to English the words were less in some lines and more in others and mixed up a good bit. It was cool how different they ended up and we went with it on the album.

 

[rtslinger]

one more Almost Human: Kiss

I'm almost human baby don't be afraid where ever you are I'm just a scream away

Estoy casi niño humano no tenga miedo donde quiera que soy sólo un grito de distancia

I am almost human baby do not be afraid wherever I am only a cry of distance

not exactly the message Gene Simmons was going for and his afraid and away rhyme is gone ha ha ha

 

[Whousedtoplay]

Okay not sure where you are going with that?

Let's clarify my question.
A person/any person hears your song in English with a lot of metaphors (smart and very interesting ones), but...
That person does not speak English.

How can a person who does not speak English evaluate your song?

 

[Whousedtoplay]

Funny translation came up. I had some lyrics once that were in English. I then translated them into Swahili then to another language that I can't remember and then back to English. When they came back around to English the words were less in some lines and more in others and mixed up a good bit. It was cool how different they ended up and we went with it on the album.

I can just imagine the nightmare of trying to adjust those new words for you song, your melody in order to let it FLOW NATURALLY.
P.S. I do understand about the "singing poetry" where the Words take the main stage.

 

[rtslinger]

Let's clarify my question.
A person/any person hears your song in English with a lot of metaphors (smart and very interesting ones), but...
That person does not speak English.

How can a person who does not speak English evaluate your song?

Well many song are written in metaphoric styles, so you need to just use the given langues to say what you want but not outright

For instance I have a song black widow it uses metaphors that give you the impression I am singing about a eight legged, insect but it is about a woman who is a user preying on unexpected man it's is a clever spin (pun in tended) to tell the story without just saying this woman's trouble walk away. I need to tell you why, to do that I have compared her to a Black Widow spider. I am sure it can't only be done using the English Langues, it just has to steer the listener in the same direction

 

[Whousedtoplay]

Well many song are written in metaphoric styles, so you need to just use the given langues to say what you want but not outright

For instance I have a song black widow it uses metaphors that give you the impression I am singing about a eight legged, insect but it is about a woman who is a user preying on unexpected man it's is a clever spin (pun in tended) to tell the story without just saying this woman's trouble walk away. I need to tell you why, to do that I have compared her to a Black Widow spider. I am sure it can't only be done using the English Langues, it just has to steer the listener in the same direction

Could you post your, "Black Widow Spider" song for us to hear?

 

[rtslinger]

Could you post your, "Black Widow Spider" song for us to hear?

I knew that was coming

 

[Whousedtoplay]

I knew that was coming

Are you a very shy musician?

 

[rtslinger]

Are you a very shy musician?

I had to find it here you go

 

[rtslinger]

I had to find it here you go

Black Widow

Words and music by

Rob Pizapio aka RT. Slinger 10-2-1982© Warner Brothers Publication Inc 422 832 626-1, 2 c1982.3

She was deceptive she couldn’t look me in the eye/ her path was destructive could make the young boys cry/ her heart was black as black as night/ for those naïve don’t touch she bites

You know!

Bridge

Her Beauty can’t be denied/ her attraction she doesn’t hide/Misinterpretation will suck you in/there’s no way out once the fun begins

Chorus

She a Black a Black Widow/

Your Sacrifice is what she adores/ But once your drained she won’t need you anymore/Stay away heed my advice/ She’ll replace you and not think twice

Let me tell you!

Her Beauty can’t be denied/ Her Attraction she doesn’t hide/Misinterpretation will suck you in/there’s no way out once the fun begins

Lead

So there’s my story it’s sad but true/ don’t let this woman get her fangs in you/ Once she gets in your head you can let it go/ and you’ll add to her collection believe me

I know!

Her Beauty can’t be denied/ Her Attraction she doesn’t hide/Misinterpretation will suck you in/there’s no way out once the fun begins

Chorus

She a Black Black a Black Widow/

As for hearing it that isn't going to happen. The Master tapes as well as the copyrights belong to those guys up top
I walked away from a record contract without finishing and went through a lawsuit. late 80's were a rough time for Hair bands if I was smart and had a crystal ball I would have waited on grunge then I would have been dropped like so many that disappeared back then. I have the lyrics they have the recordings there maybe bootleg stuff somewhere but I haven't been able to find it.

 

[ImNotJoel]

I knew that was coming

You know what they say tracks or it didn't happen.

 

[rtslinger]

You know what they say tracks or it didn't happen.

how about this



this will give you and some insight but only a little ha ha ha

 

[ImNotJoel]

how about this

Rob Pizapio aka Mr. RT Slinger

this will give you and some insight but only a little ha ha ha

Wow, that's really impressive glad you're on this thread.

 

[10cc]

Let's clarify my question.
A person/any person hears your song in English with a lot of metaphors (smart and very interesting ones), but...
That person does not speak English.

How can a person who does not speak English evaluate your song?

I listen to a lot of Zam rock like Ngozi Family and have no clue what half of their lyrics mean but I love listening to them, same goes for a band from Japan called Happy End.

I can just imagine the nightmare of trying to adjust those new words for you song, your melody in order to let it FLOW NATURALLY.
P.S. I do understand about the "singing poetry" where the Words take the main stage.

The first song Strecthy World is the song with this technique it happens around 3:20 the song was also about half written when I realized it was about conjoined twins
Link Removed

 

[rtslinger]

Wow, that's really impressive glad you're on this thread.

Those days are long gone as most who had limited success in music business back than it was tough, you had no say in it, they owned you you were a product, you made them money and did it their way or the highway.
They treated you different before you sign the dotted line then crush your creativity. We had a sound like Aerosmith meets Iron Maiden it was a formula of writing I took years to develop and it got us signed, But after that Duran, Duran sound was taking over record sales and the second album that is what they wanted from us. I was hard head and push back they threaten so I put up with it, but I wasn't happy we were losing our sound I remember writing a song called put you head between your legs and kiss your a$$ goodbye it rocked they funked it up with slap bass Here we were coming on Stage in Leather looking like Priest and trying to push Duran, Duran pop stuff down the throat of our loyal followers.
We finished a show in Philly and I just packed up and went home. I was the prime writer and mistakenly signed things myself which made me solely responsible for not finishing the recordings we agreed on in the deal so it was all on me. after that I stopped playing live for about 10 years, my kids had no idea till they were in there teens about the other side of dad. ha ha ha My 21 year old has this pic on his wall

 

[ImNotJoel]

Those days are long gone as most who had limited success in music business back than it was tough, you had no say in it, they owned you you were a product, you made them money and did it their way or the highway.
They treated you different before you sign the dotted line then crush your creativity. We had a sound like Aerosmith meets Iron Maiden it was a formula of writing I took years to develop and it got us signed, But after that Duran, Duran sound was taking over record sales and the second album that is what they wanted from us. I was hard head and push back they threaten so I put up with it, but I wasn't happy we were losing our sound I remember writing a song called put you head between your legs and kiss your a$$ goodbye it rocked they funked it up with slap bass Here we were coming on Stage in Leather looking like Priest and trying to push Duran, Duran pop stuff down the throat of our loyal followers.
We finished a show in Philly and I just packed up and went home. I was the prime writer and mistakenly signed things myself which made me solely responsible for not finishing the recordings we agreed on in the deal so it was all on me. after that I stopped playing live for about 10 years, my kids had no idea till they were in there teens about the other side of dad. ha ha ha My 21 year old has this pic on his wall
View attachment 773445

Yeah it's a tough business no secret there. But a lot of us don't even get where you went. I remember when I was a teen high school was coming to an end and thought I would give music a shot. I was in many bands and in my area a top bass player (not saying much there was not many bass players). But I squandered my oppurtunity, got too wrapped up in drugs and partying. So I never gave it the real shot I intended on. I regret it to this day that I can't even say I failed the only thing worse than failure is complacency. When I was young I told myself I would try and even if I failed I could at least say I did it.

But going into music is a scary thing, it's very competitive and very cut throat and not what you expect no matter what you think. So I got a lot of respect for the guys who bought in and played the game whether they folded, won, or lost. Takes guts just to take that leap. The hard thing is the music business is full of traps as you said sign the wrong thing and it bites you. I guess try and find lawyer musician because who can afford them starting out.

 

[rtslinger]

Yeah it's a tough business no secret there. But a lot of us don't even get where you went. I remember when I was a teen high school was coming to an end and thought I would give music a shot. I was in many bands and in my area a top bass player (not saying much there was not many bass players). But I squandered my oppurtunity, got too wrapped up in drugs and partying. So I never gave it the real shot I intended on. I regret it to this day that I can't even say I failed the only thing worse than failure is complacency. When I was young I told myself I would try and even if I failed I could at least say I did it.

But going into music is a scary thing, it's very competitive and very cut throat and not what you expect no matter what you think. So I got a lot of respect for the guys who bought in and played the game whether they folded, won, or lost. Takes guts just to take that leap. The hard thing is the music business is full of traps as you said sign the wrong thing and it bites you. I guess try and find lawyer musician because who can afford them starting out.

Music today is different all together the "companies" that ran the show were eager to make money and in the 80's hair bands were coming out of LA but only a few were in the Tri-state area that had the look and musicianship combination. as most we were coming up in the local digs like Lamor's the Cat Club, Connections, Escapades, Show Place,The Dirt Club to name a few since we were getting our name out there we were offer a showcase for Z100 which was a rock station back then in which we would perform our best material and drop a recording in the lap of record executives who were invited we were offer a deal from a sister label of a bigger company but held out and end up with a call from WB after that you are glued to the phone learning about how your sales were doing after their push on you. If things were doing well and they saw growth and longevity in your future with them they offer you a tour slot at first it was clubs still opening for others who lock in the same deal as you fighting nights for who would become the opening act. After you have run through every and any seeded rock club they could find to stick you in. You got a chance to play so great places which i was lucky enough to live long enough to get to Then you start opening for some bigger name acts that MTV is pushing at the time, but still you are a lower class citizen you feed yourself your hotel is paid for sometimes transportation is also on you the money for the band came from merch sales. Disillusioned by how far you have come and where you still need to get to drove a lot of bands to drugs drinking and break ups Being in front of people swaying to a song you wrote with lighters in the air or crying because of some sad song you wrote adds to the non reality of it all you are in. We use to use this phrase it ain't all sh8ts and giggles it seemed non-stop and it becomes a blur today's run together it is a slap in the face wake up call that makes you wonder what you got yourself into. It is the same for everyone some took the ride as hired guns they I would think had it easier since they had no direct pressure from "those people" who invested their $$$ in you to make them $$$$$ I have to say walking away when I did even though it caused major problems was the best choice to make. If you were able to change time and Grunge didn't nail the coffin in Hair bands not sure I would be around to share this.

 

[rtslinger]

Oops, sorry high jacked the thread. Back to your previously announced discussion which is already in progress

 

[Whousedtoplay]

I had to find it here you go

Black Widow

Words and music by

Rob Pizapio aka RT. Slinger 10-2-1982© Warner Brothers Publication Inc 422 832 626-1, 2 c1982.3

She was deceptive she couldn’t look me in the eye/ her path was destructive could make the young boys cry/ her heart was black as black as night/ for those naïve don’t touch she bites

You know!

Bridge

Her Beauty can’t be denied/ her attraction she doesn’t hide/Misinterpretation will suck you in/there’s no way out once the fun begins

Chorus

She a Black a Black Widow/

Your Sacrifice is what she adores/ But once your drained she won’t need you anymore/Stay away heed my advice/ She’ll replace you and not think twice

Let me tell you!

Her Beauty can’t be denied/ Her Attraction she doesn’t hide/Misinterpretation will suck you in/there’s no way out once the fun begins

Lead

So there’s my story it’s sad but true/ don’t let this woman get her fangs in you/ Once she gets in your head you can let it go/ and you’ll add to her collection believe me

I know!

Her Beauty can’t be denied/ Her Attraction she doesn’t hide/Misinterpretation will suck you in/there’s no way out once the fun begins

Chorus

She a Black Black a Black Widow/

Excellent lyrics. The words are very melodious.
You are a very talented poet.
To my regret, I'm not talented enough like some other TB members who commented in this thread.
I CANNOT just take even the most beautiful and melodious words/lyrics and create a melody that could pass my "easy standards".
Any lyrics before the tune work like some kind of muzzle to me.
I have some kind of mental block that in 99.99% the lyrics somehow hamper the flow of the tune.