Things you'd say instead of cussing...

[BASSKADET]

Why sugar coat anything.

 

[s2bs2]

christmas cookies

 

[Ironbar]

My cussing got so bad at one time that my wife & kid had a swear jar for me. My current favorites are:

Bolix
Nertz
Fluck

And taken from the movie Monsters vs. Aliens: "What the flagnog!"

 

[FronTowardEnemy]

Holy smokes

By gum

Fiddle sticks

 

[rogerbmiller]

See you next Tuesday.

 

[rogerbmiller]

Also in the school of Johnny dangerously I like to use the word ba"forgin" a lot.

 

[Short-scale]

Stettlebakka

 

[onda'bass]

What the fudge

 

[gln1955]

I either curse or skip that part al together.
To me, replacing a curse word with something else is meaningless. We all know the intend of what you are saying it, so why hide it? The words are just that, words, they are not offensive. The meaning of you context is what can be offensive, doesn't mater if you replace it with "fake curses."

I think Louis CK said it best. I will not quote him directly, but along it's along the lines of:
By replacing an offensive word with a different word you are putting the offensive word in the listeners head. You are making the listener say it in their head. Take responsibility and say it yourself, don't make us say the words you can't say.

It's all fun and games until you hear your three-year-old say it.

 

[bassjnky1]

Had a Korean acquaintance that would get our expressions mixed up and would combine them. My favorite, which has become a household staple is "What the hell in the world?" Cracks me up.

 

[Hamish MacCleod]

I'll get heat for this I'm sure... but for many years I've replaced cuss words with "Texans"! As in "freakin' Texans!" Having survived in Texas for 8 years and finally escaping I feel entitled to use that as an expletive.
Rondo

 

[ZorgRift]

tort

 

[dalkowski]

"Blergh!" and "Whuck?!?"

I remember after Roy Orbison passed, hearing on the radio someone who worked with him remembering that he never swore, but would instead murmur, "Mercy." Puts "Oh Pretty Woman" in a new light.

 

[Laughing Hyena]

Charlie Foxtrot

 

[Slade N]

for awhile I used

Michael Bolton!

 

[noeinstein]

Charlie Fox, in place of cluster eff.

 

[McFarlin]

 

[Off-Beat]

My fiancee's aunt is uber religious and won't ever cuss. She uses placeholder words instead.

Never got this. My mother isn't religous, but she does that, too.

Imo the intent is the problem not the words.

 

[Ben Rose]

Brother trucker
Cheez-its! (instead of Jesus!)

 

[funk generator]

scitote quoniam dominus ipse est deus