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What your wife may not know...

Discussion in 'Miscellaneous [BG]' started by evlwevl, Mar 5, 2019.

  1. Jehos

    Jehos Supporting Member

    Mar 22, 2006
    DFW, TX
    Maybe "prerequisites for my goals" is a better way to say "needs". Like, if my goal is to play bass at church on Sunday, I need...a bass. If my goal is to sound good in the room, that sets a minimum bar for the bass (like needs to be in good working order, no dead spots, straight neck, no fret buzz) and the amp (needs decent tone, needs to be powerful enough to carry the room if PA support is lacking, needs to sound good mic'd if that's how it's used). If my goal is to sound good on a recording of the service, I might need some additional stuff like a compressor, some EQ flexibility, maybe some other tone shaping). If my goal is to play song as-recorded, I need a ton more effects and tone flexibility so I can sound as much like the original artist as possible.

    Where it turns into needs-vs-wants is where you're going beyond the minimums to achieve your goals. Like one of my goals is to sound good on the recordings of our worship services. That informed my purchase of an effects box, because I needed a compressor and EQ so I could smooth out my signal and tweak what goes to the board to be different from what goes out into the room. I wanted some additional fun-to-have stuff, so instead of just buying a compressor and preamp, I bought a HX Stomp so I could play around with dirt, chorus, reverb, envelope filters, etc. I didn't go overboard with my wants and start a massive collection of pedals or set a Helix and AxeFX side-by-side or anything.
  2. Eilif

    Eilif Supporting Member

    Oct 1, 2001
    That's a good reminder that collections aren't soley about affirmation and social standing. I completely agree there is much good that comes from the association of interested individuals them or I wouldn't bother putting together GTG's. (Consider this a shameless plug for the Chicago GTG linked in my sig, hope you all can make it...)

    On the other hand, consumerism and keeping-up-with-joneses buying for affirmation and social standing is something that can be nearly impossible to step out of or even recognize because it's so ingrained in the society around us. I consider myself a fairly thrifty fellow and I've shrunk my stable by about half from it's peak but I've still got 6 basses and it is highly unlikely that the collection will shrink further. 6 Basses! How the heck does that happen except in a society that prizes possessions and encourages consumption as a virtue?

    Not sure if that makes me a hypocrite, a product of my culture or some obtuse hybrid, but I've thinking on it a lot these days.
    Novarocker likes this.
  3. cosmicevan

    cosmicevan Supporting Member

    Feb 1, 2003
    New York
    I know I replied to your post, but I wasn't picking on you specifically...just leveraging your post which echoes much of what's been said in this thread.

    As for your "prerequisites for your goals" - the number one thing that would move the needle across the board on everything you suggested is hard work. The number one thing that makes a player sound good is the way they play. To use a popular example from this thread...if Vic Wooten showed up at your church to play, he would probably still sound good on any bass and any amp as long as they were functioning. Even warped neck or dead spots in the neck...Vic would still sound good. He'd notice them and work around them...he'd adjust his playing to accommodate for the sub par equipment and ultimately he'd sound good. What did Vic need? Hours and hours and hours and hours of playing and practice to become someone who sounds good on anything.

    It's ok to want stuff and think you need stuff without having to justify it. That's my point. These arbitrary lines or what constitutes need vs want varies from person to person and in the end, these are just ways that we limit ourselves. What does a gold medal olympic track runner need to be a gold medal winner? One would probably say legs...but I'd say hard work:


    please note - I do not condone shooting one's girlfriend and claiming you thought it was an intruder - I am, however, impressed with people who show that hard work trumps almost any perceived notion of what is needed or possible.
  4. My wife and I worked it out long ago (married just shy of 29 years) that whatever money I made with my music gear was my money to spend however I'd like.

    No questions on the price or what I buy. It's all good. And if I died suddenly tomorrow my musician friends would help her to unload any items for appropriate values.
  5. the harp unstrung

    the harp unstrung What would Fred Rogers do? Gold Supporting Member

    Nov 2, 2014
    On The Bus

    H o F post...
  6. Eilif

    Eilif Supporting Member

    Oct 1, 2001
    Thanks I think, but what does H o F mean?
  7. the harp unstrung

    the harp unstrung What would Fred Rogers do? Gold Supporting Member

    Nov 2, 2014
    On The Bus
    (Hall Of Fame...) :thumbsup:

  8. s0c9

    s0c9 Supporting Member

    Jan 9, 2014
    1964 Audio artist, Fractal Audio Beta Tester
    Same here.. it's called "envelope money".. 'cus that's what we keep ours in :)
    the harp unstrung likes this.
  9. I'm not sure where the name came from but we call it my "slush fund!" :smug:
  10. s0c9

    s0c9 Supporting Member

    Jan 9, 2014
    1964 Audio artist, Fractal Audio Beta Tester
    We EACH have our own envelopes.
    But still, what's hers is hers, and what's mine is hers! :)
    cosmicevan and WI Short Scaler like this.
  11. cosmicevan

    cosmicevan Supporting Member

    Feb 1, 2003
    New York
    It's a dope little reverb pedal from TC electronic. ;)
  12. Eilif

    Eilif Supporting Member

    Oct 1, 2001
    How did I miss that?
    Last edited: Mar 8, 2019
    the harp unstrung likes this.
  13. drummer5359

    drummer5359 Gold Supporting Member

    Jan 10, 2011
    Pittsburgh PA USA
    Happily, I've been able to acquire all of my gear through cash purchases and trades. My wife knows that some of it is (relatively) expensive. Each January I amend my gear list with serial numbers and approximate values for insurance purposes. I am realistic as far as resale or replacement costs, I don't inflate or undervalue. When I add up the drum, bass, guitar and general PA/lighting gear it is a decent chunk of change. She sees this figure every year and rolls her eyes, but does it with a grin.
  14. thirtyhz

    thirtyhz Supporting Member

    Apr 5, 2001
    I just got a bass and had it sent to my sisters. The reason is obvious, most of my basses are burst, this one is white so need to figure out how to integrate. If I croak my brother will price my gear.
  15. hwystar


    Jan 30, 2009
    This is why I'm single....and very happy
  16. scooper

    scooper Supporting Member

    Apr 4, 2015
    Madison, WI
    My wife knew who she was marrying including my music and equipment and really supports me when I am traveling or playing weekends when we might otherwise be together. She loves music and will come to an occasional nearby performance as well. She is well aware of the value of the instruments for several reasons: (1) she sees the musical equipment depreciation schedule to our tax return, (2) she is aware of the appraisal of most of them which I had to obtain in the context of divorcing my ex, and (3) she has also seen the listing of musical equipment and values for insurance purposes. We have a budget and meet monthly to review income and expenditures so nothing can escape her attention and I wouldn't want it to. Happy wife, happy life, as they say.
  17. sanwin17

    sanwin17 Please mommy, you just gotta buy this amplifier. Supporting Member

    Jan 23, 2010
    Highland Beach, FL
    ...won't hurt her.
  18. SoonerBill

    SoonerBill Supporting Member

    Aug 27, 2017
    My wife doesn’t know how much I paid for a 2011 World Series Game 7 ticket. And she never will.
  19. dannydabiker


    May 24, 2011
    You lied to your wife about your expenditures?? WHY?

    If your marriage is so shaky you need to lie, then you have more serious problems than the cost of your gear!!!!!!
  20. Fuzzbass

    Fuzzbass P5 with overdrive Gold Supporting Member

    Totally agree.

    I often lied about my gear expenses to my wife. I felt completely justified because her equestrian hobby expenses were way, way, WAY more than mine :greedy:, and she would often tell me about her spending sprees only after the fact: forgiveness being easier than permission, of course.

    This was an obvious recipe for disaster, and as anyone would guess, the end result was that we constantly had trouble paying bills, and our 27-year marriage eventually ended for financial reasons -- which were actually lack-of-trust reasons. We split amicably, but it was still unfortunate.

    This might be an extreme example, and I don't mean to lecture anyone... just sayin' that truth and trust and cooperation are the better path (when possible).
    geof_ likes this.

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