"You're terrible!"

[Lance Bunyon]

I've been in situations where people told us things like "I liked the Blondie tune" (we did all original music), and have figured out a response that works well for that situation. Though your situation is different, I suggest next time, you try it out:

Her: "This is the wrong music for these people. Everyone hates this music."

You: Thanks!

She may get confused by this, but her showing up to an 80's party, expecting Chopin - she's already confused. Chances are, after your response, she will be taken aback, and pause to collect her thoughts. That's you cue to smile and quickly move away. No matter what her reaction is, it'll probably shorten the exchange, which is good for both you and her - you're not going to ever agree on anything, given her opening salvo, so don't try to engage her further. Be nice, say thanks, and move on.

Yeah. The 13 years I spent in middle management tought me all kinds of great disarming canned responses. "Thanks for the feedback, we'll look into that". "I'll let the guys upstairs know and we'll circle back". That's a fascinating revelation! I'm most grateful for the input".
I have a thousand of them!

 

[Lucas Carioli]

Usually i don't let room for this. I can't play and talk at the same time. Just pretend not listen, lol! These people usually are already drunk, just pretend you're high and crazy too!

 

[Mannyinnewyork]

Maybe. You never know who that old guy is you're messing with.

I did say probably.

 

[lunarpollen]

For that crowd, they probably should have hired a band that does things like "It's a Blue World", "Rag Mop", "Poinciana", "Avalon" etc. at polite volume levels

 

[bobalu]

Band: 80s New Wave/Pop band
Gig: 80s party & mini car show
Location: Assisted living facility (parking lot)

You might be able to tell where this is going.

About halfway through our single 90 minute set a literal little old lady (5'0", 85 years old) walks up onto the stage saying something to me that I can't hear because it was mid song. Maybe she was coming to complain about the lack of hair metal, so I leaned over to give her my ear.

Her: "This is the wrong music for these people. Everyone hates this music."

Me (to myself): It's a Billy Idol song. I hate it too.

Me (to her): "It's an 80s party. This is what they hired us to play."

Her: "It sucks!"

Me: "Again, this is what they hired us to play."

Her: "It's sh*t! And you're terrible! I don't listen to this garbage. I listen to Chopin."

Me: "I don't have an orchestra with me. We can't play that tonight."

This wasn't enough of an answer for her. She now had to tell the drummer how much we suck, mid song. He couldn't hear a word she was saying.

At this point a staff member noticed her and retrieved her from the stage.

She had a point. They shouldn't have an 80s party at an assisted living facility until it's my time to live there. They should have had a band playing 50s-70s music. But her complaint should be directed at management, not us.

She was exceptionally rude, but it was entertaining and I get a good story to tell.

Side note: The mini car show included a 60s Batmobile, the Green Arrow's car (does that have a name?), the General Lee and sheriff car, and a DeLorean with all the Back to the Future equipment. (None from the actual shows/movies).

Did it ever occur to you that maybe they were referring to the 1880's?

 

[fdeck]

For that crowd, they probably should have hired a band that does things like "It's a Blue World", "Rag Mop", "Poinciana", "Avalon" etc. at polite volume levels

Someone who enjoyed "Poinciana" as a teenager would be about 105 today.

 

[40Hz]

Should have punched her. Did you?

Excellent suggestion. Assuming you want to wind up in jail.

 

[Green Hornet]

Do you know what the establishment told the residents about what kind of music or event it would be?
I have been to facilities where they don't tell the residents anything. The faculty just take the residents there to the event and leave them.

 

[buldog5151bass]

Another vote for the intent being "music for people in their 80s". I'm 58, and grew up on 80s music.

 

[Not Again]

"You say we suck, but we're getting PAID for this sh¡t. Stop by the front door on your way ou to see if you can get your foodstamps back."

- An old friend (r.i.p.) at one of his band's many shows that got boo'd

 

[buldog5151bass]

Do you know what the establishment told the residents about what kind of music or event it would be?
I have been to facilities where they don't tell the residents anything. The faculty just take the residents there to the event and leave them.

The gig was on the parking lot of the assisted living facility.

 

[gln1955]

She's probably in the early stages of dementia. They do things like that. Best you can do is smile and carry on!

There's a reason people are in assisted living and this is often it. I know a woman right now in assisted living who, along with memory issues, is unbelievably nasty to her kids for no reason.

This is a funny story for the OP, but these folks in this situation have miserable lives.

 

[Matt R.]

Should have punched her. Did you?

Into elder abuse are ya?

 

[bassliner50]

Who booked an 80's band for this audience? That is so wrong. Leads me to wonder, maybe it was misunderstood and the music selection was supposed to appeal to persons in their 80's?
I play to this audience occasionally. Music from the 30's and 40's resonates deeply with them. Play Glenn Millers Moonlight Serenade or a Rogers and Hart tune and these older ladies swoooooon! (Bloody hell, I'm in my 70's so I'm right behind them).

 

[bobdabilder]

Yeah, pretty much. Not afraid to recognize what's in our Constitution.

Are the guns standard? Asking from England.

 

[Watchootognbout]

For that crowd, they probably should have hired a band that does things like "It's a Blue World", "Rag Mop", "Poinciana", "Avalon" etc. at polite volume levels

Or maybe some nice Pat Metheney.
I mean,who doesn't like Pat Metheney?

 

[MegaSwing]

“We’ll try to do better, ma’am” about covers it. Ya can’t really start a fight.

Showbiz is complicated.

 

[CalBuzz51]

Mr. Sandman, bring me a dream…

 

[Anne Millington]

Well, good for her. She is finally at the point in her life when she can say whatever she bloody well wants.

 

[Hurricane Jimmie]

An 80s party seems a very odd choice for an assisted living facility. But not your issue.

So Anyway, the band was probably there for the staff and guests, not the residents.
We've played several assisted living centers. We start at the 60's and move backwards.