Crossdressing and bandmates.

[Brother Goose]

Wow. I'm slowly realizing how many times I've been "Tambourine Guy" in the past....

mostly from the standpoint of hogging the attention vs. being absolutely on fire like mr. happy-feet-i-went-to-a-church-once-and-i-think-this-is-how-it's-done...

I'm pretty sure I caught the backup singer glaring at him a few times.

Thankfully, my wife has hidden my tambourine!

Now the real question is how to reach this drummer about my Rick James Cover Band "Street Songs" and what size Go-Go boot he wears?

 

[alaskaleftybass]

In the 80's when we toured the country one country bumpkin bar at a time, there was a different mentality of how to dress. We were the spillover from the previous generation that still would mix and match like wear a suit coat, t-shirt, then jeans. And sneakers. But we worked on making our hair look nice and our clothes were nice. At least for the nights we played, and the women who went to the clubs always looked pretty.

Today, especially today, there is a revolution of individuality going on. Sexuality, dress styles, music styles--it's all diverging into many different paths. Non-traditional lifestyles are fully "coming out" and claiming their spot on the stage. Honestly, with the audience anyway, it's hard from the back to tell the sexes apart from the rear. Mostly gone are all the raiments that definitely separated men from women. Women shave their heads and are often more tattooed than the men. They wear boots instead of pretty feminine shoes. Even the shoes have big toes and fat heels, buttons and sneaker laces.

So in order to be a crossdresser one would have to be somewhat of a "throwback" to older times when women knew how to really dress up in a feminine fashion. Many of the crossdressers today would look much more feminine than the females in the audience wearing boots and plaid shirts. This is just an observation of an oddity of culture.

Crossdressing will be much more accepted in larger cities than smaller towns the further inland you get away from the coasts. You will find many phobic personalities ready to belittle you, and sometimes instigate a fight. I remember one time we were playing in a small town in Montana and my guitarist buddy and I were both wearing black satin baseball jackets with Hall and Oates on the back and we had some guys come up to us at an A & W Root Beer drivein looking for a fight, because they thought we were "faggots" because of the jackets we wore.

The further inland you get the more provincial and ignorant the attitudes get.

 

[Cat-A-Tonic]

If you're interested in cross-dressing, I can't imagine a more appropriate place for it than on stage.

Isn't spectacle the point of such fashion?

Lux Interior, David Bowie, Brian Eno, NewYork Dolls, Wayne/Jayne County...

Have fun.

Disregard the haters. (they don't deserve a shag)

 

[Brother Goose]

And are you the official thread police? If so, I want to see a badge.

Forget another thread- I say we start a band called "Sweat Pants"...

Although I will start a thread to crowd-source funds to get you a pair of these!

Any man who has served our country overseas and serves the greater good by playing bass damn well deserves to be comfortable!

 

[Brother Goose]

In the 80's when we toured the country one country bumpkin bar at a time, there was a different mentality of how to dress. We were the spillover from the previous generation that still would mix and match like wear a suit coat, t-shirt, then jeans. And sneakers. But we worked on making our hair look nice and our clothes were nice. At least for the nights we played, and the women who went to the clubs always looked pretty.

Today, especially today, there is a revolution of individuality going on. Sexuality, dress styles, music styles--it's all diverging into many different paths. Non-traditional lifestyles are fully "coming out" and claiming their spot on the stage. Honestly, with the audience anyway, it's hard from the back to tell the sexes apart from the rear. Mostly gone are all the raiments that definitely separated men from women. Women shave their heads and are often more tattooed than the men. They wear boots instead of pretty feminine shoes. Even the shoes have big toes and fat heels, buttons and sneaker laces.

So in order to be a crossdresser one would have to be somewhat of a "throwback" to older times when women knew how to really dress up in a feminine fashion. Many of the crossdressers today would look much more feminine than the females in the audience wearing boots and plaid shirts. This is just an observation of an oddity of culture.

Crossdressing will be much more accepted in larger cities than smaller towns the further inland you get away from the coasts. You will find many phobic personalities ready to belittle you, and sometimes instigate a fight. I remember one time we were playing in a small town in Montana and my guitarist buddy and I were both wearing black satin baseball jackets with Hall and Oates on the back and we had some guys come up to us at an A & W Root Beer drivein looking for a fight, because they thought we were "faggots" because of the jackets we wore.

The further inland you get the more provincial and ignorant the attitudes get.

That's great perspective on the shift in culture/fashion/gender! This has been a pretty fun thread! Thanks OP and all!

 

[Cowboy in Latvia]

As long as the stage look works in the context of the band and we have had frank talks about it, I wouldn't give a poo.

If I'm surprised on stage or someone goes way away from the band vision with their stage dress, that doesn't fly.

What you do outside of work (gig) time? Your biz and I'm not gonna judge cause it's not my place.

 

[Max Blasto]

I've done shows in drag. It can be pretty fun. The interesting thing is that while socially conservative males get disoriented when I dress like that, straight women of the inebriated persuasion have an entirely different reaction. It's like love potion #999. My wife cracks up at all the unsolicited attention I used to get at those gigs.

To the OP's original ?: All things involving the band's look on stage should be discussed beforehand. General concepts or specific looks. Part of the show, and as important as the music in some situations. As Aaron Neville said, "tell it like it is."

For the cats that are uncomfortable with it, that's cool. Gender roles in society are some of the most primal social functions that humans have. Clothes are signals that telegraph what roles we play in society. Upending those signals is disorienting for socially conservative people, and being disoriented is not a pleasant feeling for anyone. Odd behavior can result, so anyone in this situation should understand that the world spins too fast for some.

As for Nasty Habits, I'm a fan. And it would be a dream sub gig because not only would it require buying a TBird just cuz (I'll take a Mike Lull nonreverse 5 string, thx), but a fella's got to accessorize, so the shopping would be a scream. For my wife. LOL! Jeez can I still pull off CFMs at my age? Mascara does irritate my eyes tho, so I would hope that nothing foul befell TBird1958.

Good luck, OP. And do, please, rock on in whatever you're wearing.

 

[devnulljp]

 

[chuck3]

There you go!

wow, TBird - I remember her from the "Chick with Bass" threads ... those were epic for a while. Tbird always struck me as very cool, a good bass player, what's not to like? Plus, if I remember correctly, she has a *lot* of Tbird basses, and lined them all up for some great pics.

I think the concept of a crossdressing band like the Nasty Habits for venues where that's appreciated is pretty cool. Wouldn't work in any of the groups I'm in, for better or worse ....

 

[vegas532]

A band I was in many moons ago had a frontman who frequently performed in lingerie and wig. He was a blast to be in a band with, and always created quite the stir live. Mind you, this was in Jacksonville, FL.

 

[pcake]

you know what i don't get and haven't gotten since i first started wondering when i was probably around 9? why is it that a woman wears some men's attire and she's just a chick wearing clothes but a guy wears any woman's attire and he's a crossdresser?

 

[Lowness]

Weird.

Stay away from me.

 

[lfmn16]

It's just something I enjoy doing. If you want to get weird about that's on you guys.

I couldn't care less what someone does on their own time. It's none of my business. What someone does around me reflects on me and it becomes my business.

 

[JimmyM]

I couldn't care less what someone does on their own time. It's none of my business. What someone does around me reflects on me and it becomes my business.

This is how I feel, too. I am very gay-friendly and support people in whatever they want to do on their own time, but do not stand between me and my money. It's not a matter of me keeping cross-dressers down...it's a matter of them affecting my income. Now if I was in an 80's style rock band, maybe I'd feel less like they were standing in the way of my money but not in my current band.

HJ Freaks is awesome and does like to wear women's clothes, but when he's doing his jazz gig, he wears men's clothes.

you know what i don't get and haven't gotten since i first started wondering when i was probably around 9? why is it that a woman wears some men's attire and she's just a chick wearing clothes but a guy wears any woman's attire and he's a crossdresser?

That seems to be evolving as more gay women are open about being gay and not presenting themselves just as girls who like to wear boy clothes.

 

[Fingerpickingood]

If you're going to be in a rock band with me, just give me a heads up.

I've worn full drag on several occasions. I'd do it more often if it didn't look so awful. Picture a silverback in a sundress.

 

[JaredBT]

Just gotta get past the hair.

 

[dtripoli]

...Went from browsing TalkBass to craigslist and this is the first ad that came up under "Musicians"

[Reply] x prohibited[?] Posted: about 4 hours ago print ◀ prev ▲ next ▶

Bass Player Looking (LA/OC)

Bass Player looking for established original band or singer-songwriter.

Have pro gear, reliable trans and ready to go.

PLEASE send me tracks, links, band bio, etc, and I will do the same.

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Search:
bass, upright, double, stand up, slap, standup, acoustic, contra, jazz, americana, roots, rock, alt, alternative, rockabilly, punk, folk, swing

Link to ad Posted 6-30-16:
[Invalid or Expired Link Removed]. Musicians

 

[JaredBT]

Anything and everything one person does on stage is a direct reflection on the band therefore everyones conduct and appearance should be approved by the band while working.

 

[-Asdfgh-]

Wouldn't have a problem with it except on stage. As there is a social stigma attached to it, it could drive away customers and club owners.
Social stigmas are not always right or fair, they just are.

Given the number of bands using outrageous costumes and cross-dressing on stage I think that particular horse has left the stable and subsequently been turned into glue it has been so long!

 

[-Asdfgh-]

I agree with Salicete above. A working band is show biz. It's entertainment. Usually the dress style is part of the show, whether is tie-dye for a Dead cover band, boots and hats in a country band, random casual wear or whatever the band agrees is appropriate.

Or flower pot hats and boiler suits...