Crossdressing and bandmates.

[monkeyfinger]

This is how I feel, too. I am very gay-friendly and support people in whatever they want to do on their own time, but do not stand between me and my money. It's not a matter of me keeping cross-dressers down...it's a matter of them affecting my income. Now if I was in an 80's style rock band, maybe I'd feel less like they were standing in the way of my money but not in my current band.

Doesn't that sound like the same arguments that led to red-lining? (The practice of denying housing to people of color.)

 

[-Asdfgh-]

Shouldn't you be asking what bass goes best with crossdressing?

Black and white are pretty neutral and will go with most things...

 

[-Asdfgh-]

If you are crossdressing I think it's still important to fit the look of the band (e.g. smart, casual, all dressed as Lord of the Rings characters, or whatever) and look good and choose clothes that are appropriately coordinated and flattering.

 

[monkeyfinger]

Let's be honest here, the issue most people have with transgenders is that it has a strong visual aspect. This means that merely being in the presence of a transgender person makes you participate in the transgender experience. If you are not accustomed to this, you may have to make some mental and emotional adjustments. Most of the responses to this post say something like "I am OK with making the mental and emotional adjustments for me, but I don't want to force that on the audience, club owner, etc." Do you see the contradiction? You are implying that each person has a choice about the queer experience even as a passive observer. New flash: No one has that choice! There was a time when Blacks and Whites would never be seen on a stage together. If you were to say, today, that you would not have a Black person in your band because it might upset the management, what kind of reaction do you think you would get here? Probably not a good one. Our society determined a long time ago that your discomfort with multi-racial bands is your problem and you need to make the adjustments. For a long time, people scoffed at that idea citing all kinds of personal rights, including religious freedom. But we stuck to our guns and made it a cultural norm. Why should transgender be any different?

 

[castlev]

I don't care what you do on your own time, but I wouldn't want you to dress up as a woman on stage, nor would I want you to wear a bear costume, or desert sniper costume, or a superman cape (like the dude from Killswitch). Truth is, if it's not a halloween band, leave the dressing up at home.
This isn't about PC, or bigotry, it's about the statement the band is making. If your band is making a transgender statement, go for it. If your bands sings about capitalism and racism, like Rage Against the Machine, then the dresses don't really fit.

 

[EVL HULK]

Crossdressing band mates?... Now its a f*****g party, throw me a beer dude lol

 

[Feral Feline]

And are you the official thread police? If so, I want to see a badge.

I don't have to show you any stinkin' badgers!

[PS: I think you took it the wrong way; I thought your idea had merit, you don't think it's worthy of its own thread?]

 

[Fat Freddy]

I don't have to show you any stinkin' badgers!

That's no badger.....It's a skunk!....

 

[Stempelloos]

The Virgin Prunes were known for their performances in skirts.


I think the way you dress depends on the band and what they are into.
As long as the music is not suffering from it, I wouldn't mind.
Almost anything has already been done anyway.

 

[cnltb]

Crossdressing and bandmates.

Cool by me but it wouldn't be appropriate in any projects I am involved with at this point.

 

[Feral Feline]

I've been wanting to start a cross-dressing band for some time... Seriously.

It's a surf band called "Iron Mermaiden", and we'd do Iron Maiden covers in a surf-rock style and surf-rock covers in an Iron Maiden style.

I've even selected the instruments...

Shark-shaped guitar
Bone-fish type guitar
Clown-fish mini-bass
Translucent-blue acrylic drum-shells with tropical fish stickers...
Organ? Not sure of that one yet... Anyone know of an aquatic-themed organ? Or maybe just a blue saxophone...


And because T-shirts are so passé...

Band Merch:
Beach Balls
Beach Towels
Beach Brolies
Mermaiden air-mattresses
Sand-castle shovel-and-pail kits
etc.




I had the idea, then while researching it more I found these guys:

 

[Gravedigger Dav]

Given the number of bands using outrageous costumes and cross-dressing on stage I think that particular horse has left the stable and subsequently been turned into glue it has been so long!

If that is your band's image, then yes, it would be appropriate. I play in two bands. One is classic southern rock and we play a lot of redneck and biker bars. The other is a Christian alternative rock band that plays benefits and festivals. For those, it wouldn't work.

 

[One Drop]

I don't have much to add because my band and audience would be perfectly fine with it.

I think everyone should spend some time dressed up like a member of a different gender, or if it wasn't so dangerous and likely to be taken wrong, to be able to spend a day disguised as a different colour or culture.

Just to understand how we all constantly judge based on the flimsiest of criteria.

Dressing as a woman in a dress is fascinating for me. I get no sexual thrill but just experiencing how you hold yourself differently, how revealing and vulnerable it can be, how various men and women react to what are obviously conflicting and confusing feelings, etc, make it a fascinating and educating experience.

 

[gnergaard]

I don't think that there's any issue of 'appropriate' or inappropriate. People should be allowed to express themselves in all sorts of ways. Music is one way. Clothing, makeup and gender identity are others...
Musicians who cross dress are in REALLY GOOD COMPANY... And have been for a long time. David Bowie, and countless others. A few people have said something to the effect of 'if my band mate is cross dressing that puts my income at risk'. Think about David Bowie's (RIP) paycheck, then get back to us on this issue!
I don't want to ignore the reality of playing for people/ crowds that are intolerant of queer folk. Those are tough gigs. But I personally look at the musicians I play with and strive to support their identities- what ever that may be. This includes people who cross dress, gender-bend, identify with the other gender etc. it also includes people of a different race or ethnicity than me, women I work with, people with long hair, people with short hair, people with tattoos... You get the idea.
As a straight male musician (and human being) I want to stand up for the people I work with and I acknowledge that other people have a different take on their gender, identity- or maybe they just like to dress differently than I do. In some cases this isn't a choice- people are born feeling one way or have a feeling so strong that it is an undeniable part of who they are. For example- I was born male and my inclination to be straight is almost inconceivable for me to change. It's just who I am. I want to celebrate and support people being who they are. If that means toughing out a gig with a crowd that is intolerant then I'll tough it out. If it means turning that gig down then I'll turn it down.
In most cases for me working with queer people isn't a deficit, it is a huge advantage both personally and professionally. I hope everyone can come to see this issue the same way.

PS-Good music is just good music no matter what style. The same thing is true for good musicians.

 

[two fingers]

There you go!

I would go watch that act in a second. They're a good band!

OP, the short version is..... It all depends. It could work in some bands but not in others. If they say no, I would hope it is for business reasons and not personal ones. And if it is for business reasons, it will be up to you to decide what to do.

 

[Robroy]

Doesn't that sound like the same arguments that led to red-lining? (The practice of denying housing to people of color.)

"Redlining" was a label given a reasonable business practice. Banks are risking money when they loan it. Some neighborhoods were simply too risky. It wasn't about race though there may have been an outlier or two). It was about ability to repay the loan.

But it got politicized, and here we are.

An acquaintance owned a chain of "discount" grocery stores. He had to close one in a bad neighborhood because the shrinkage was horrendous. He was not accused of redlining because, well, he wasn't a bank.

 

[joebar]

one would have to be somewhat of a "throwback" to older times when women knew how to really dress up in a feminine fashion

I like girly girls.
nothing quite a gal all dressed up who does her darndest to turn a head or two

 

[Robroy]

I like girly girls.
nothing quite a gal all dressed up who does her darndest to turn a head or two

I'm one of those guys that always appreciated girls. And it's not just the look. It's the way they talk. The way they think. The way they move. I've had "girlfriends" since kindergarten.

I've always appreciated them, but none as much as my wife, who is still my best friend at 62.

 

[joebar]

a guy wears any woman's attire and he's a crossdresser?

guys like prince and scott weiland never struck me as effeminate. good for them for doing what they want.

 

[Robroy]

guys like prince and scott weiland never struck me as effeminate. good for them for doing what they want.

I don't know who Weiland is, but Prince DEFINITELY struck me as, well, "Metrosexual".

And I don't use the word in a complimentary way.