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Dating a girl with baggage
- Thread starter Gorn
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Looking at this from another angle: with all the problems this poor woman has, does she really need to be getting involved with a bass player?
A few random thoughts:
None of those things are her fault. Not saying it's wrong to be cautious, just saying.
The only thing that jumps out at me is her mum's mental health**. But then there are different levels within that category - does she take her meds? Does she have episodes that require outside intervention?
**That sucks about her dad. Don't get me wrong, that's a hell of a thing, but an ailing parent/relative is something most of us will have to deal with at some point.
A lot of teens are nightmares. Of course it could be bad but hard to tell in the abstract.
Bottom line: i'd pass just because you work with her sister. Too close for comfort if it went bad.
Or are you just really wanting someone a bit younger who isn't watching the baby clock? Again, no judgement
no sense in buying the ticket if you don't want to take the ride.
None of those things are her fault. Not saying it's wrong to be cautious, just saying.
The only thing that jumps out at me is her mum's mental health**. But then there are different levels within that category - does she take her meds? Does she have episodes that require outside intervention?
**That sucks about her dad. Don't get me wrong, that's a hell of a thing, but an ailing parent/relative is something most of us will have to deal with at some point.
A lot of teens are nightmares. Of course it could be bad but hard to tell in the abstract.
Bottom line: i'd pass just because you work with her sister. Too close for comfort if it went bad.
Or are you just really wanting someone a bit younger who isn't watching the baby clock? Again, no judgement
no sense in buying the ticket if you don't want to take the ride.
Imagine that her family is a rock-band, then ask yourself if you would join that band, forever.
Every normal human being has baggage. It’s the ones who appear not to you need to worry about.
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I married a woman with baggage and problems and she eventually wound up in prison.
Absolutely her problems will be your problems. That's kind of the point of being in a serious relationship - getting through life together. If you're not on board with dealing with that horror show (and I sure as hell wouldn't be), then save everyone the heartache.
There you go.
. Would be nice if you could get laid with her w/o all the other crap.After all, you did say she was 'hot'. Who wouldn't, but man...it's always som'um in the game.
Good on her for stepping up for her family. Probably means she could be depended on when things are tough. At some point this will be important, if you live long enough. I get where your coming from, too. That's a lot of responsibility to take on. Good on you for asking yourself tough questions like that. As I'm sure you know, if you know you aren't ready for it, leave that girl alone. Sounds like she has enough going on without heartache. I bt you do also
Before I read your OP I voted 'maybe', but quickly changed it to 'yes' because i realized that we ALL have some kind of baggage as the years go by. Some baggage is way lighter than others, but anyone with zero baggage would probably not want to date me
I met a gal a little over a year ago at a rough time in her existence, plus her baggage was the kind I wanted nothing to do with... she's a wine mom of a 10 year old boy, on a medical leave, allergic to cats, slightly older than me, in debt up to her ears, & still technically married. She pursued me relentlessly during 6 months of 'hanging out' before I got to know her better and relented to go exclusive.
With some help she's gotten back on her feet, back to her good career job, she's mature enough where it counts, stopped spending recklessly & is taking care of her own debt. She's a fantastic mom to a polite & wonderful son, fun in the sack, & an amazing cook! Her husband is great, and they're only still married just cuz it's somehow better financially, & they easily cooperate for better parenting.
She's very chill, kind, & easy to be around, yet capable of cutting loose for having fun. The only time she ever tells me no is like when I suggest a cheeseteak dinner for the 3rd time in a week.
She would never make me choose between her and my cats, and none of my own personal baggage is off putting or too strange for her to overlook. Yep, I see this one lasting a good while.
I say you see where it goes. Just don't make any promises you aren't willing to keep, & if she doesn't put pressure on you that's another check in her column of positives... but you won't know unless you give it a go. (A biological clock implies she's looking at having you co-spawn. How do you feel about that?)
(I didn't read the whole thread yet)
Yeah.......
But then there's "back pack" baggage..........And then there's"long,heavy freight train" baggage.
Not really. She's teaching him that marriage is meaningless and that marriage vows mean nothing.
She's also teaching him that he has a mom who loves him, feeds him, and can be relied on. I'd rather she teach him that than how to judge others based on limited information.
Oh no. He is still young. He said he wouldn’t, but he’s not out of the weeds yet. All it takes is him bumping into her in a tight outfit, acting cute, and he could regress.
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