Dumb CL Ad's pt 5, Dumbester and Dumberest

[SnowCal]

OK, I know you'll all want to move to Cincinnati to play with this guy (leave your loud rack-mounted equipment at home).
Looking to form a no BS band (Milford)

Listen, I'm a really good songwriter, I'm a great utility guitarist, and I have stage presence for days. I expect to play shows, I expect to make money, and I know I have that IT factor that will lead this band to greatness.

SO NO DRAMA.

I need a dependable drummer who will take care of his drumming realm, bringing the thunder, at break neck speed (when necessary). Drummer, you are not allowed to complain. You are not allowed to make suggestions. You are not allowed to play "tribal" beats, go to half time all of the time, or twirl your sticks. I WILL NOT TOLERATE you stealing my girlfriend. I'm between gf's right now, but I have a ton of prospects. So in a month, when this project is well off of the ground and I have a super hot gf, I WILL KICK YOU OUT IF YOU STEAL HER.

I need a rocking hard lead guitarist with licks for days. No drugs, no BS, no "big man on campus" macho BS. I expect you to play a GIBSON Les Paul guitar, have a full MARSHALL stack (pre-80s), and have only two pedals: A wah and a channel switch. THAT'S IT. NO MONSTER PEDAL BOARDS. THAT'S DRAMA AND I DON'T ACCEPT DRAMA.

I need a bass player who does not suck. Your gear should be good, but not too loud. No rack mounted equipment allowed, it's too loud. Also, you are not allowed to have a day job because I will not tolerate excuses about "needing to go to work in the morning."

I am willing to compromise, and I may decided to play bass or drums. But I will always sing, I need to express myself. Once I get a sense of who is responding I will plan accordingly.

Rock'N'Roll 4 lyfe

I appreciate that he assumes the bass player is the only one who might have a job.

 

[My name is Mudd]

I'd love to know what it is about rack gear that makes it 'too loud.'

 

[rolandm]

What's the best rack for metal?

 

[tigerfire]

Why, a large one, of course. What a silly question.

 

[rolandm]

True. And very silly.

 

[fdeck]

Don't think he meant it that way, but:

[Invalid or Expired Link Removed]

 

[Holdsg]

another one like that, based on the title (watch out, guitards):

Bassist looking to pursue a guitar player (Perris)
Hello, my name is Jonathan and I have been playing Bass for about 4 years going on 5. I just recently set aside my active band due to the rest of the band mates busy from college or work. So I am here at home having the free time for any band out there that is in need of a permanent or session Bass player. I prefer to play around the genres of (Alternative/Indie Rock) but I also play other genres such as Metal whether it be Thrash or Death Metal. I have been around the local scene playing shows for about two years and am willing to help bands in need of more shows as I have the knowledge and connections. Please don't hesitate to email this posting, I have some Bass instrumentals on my soundcloud for curious ears. [Invalid or Expired Link Removed]

 

[Jim Nazium]

"Attention local musicians: Experienced Female Singer seeking experienced:
Lead Guitarist
Bassist
Keyboard
Drummer

For an upcoming Summer Concert series show in Manassas. This is an unpaid show, but will showcase local talent, and will possibly lead to more local/regional shows.

Requirements:
Music Style: Pop/Rock/Alternative
Be between the ages of 21-35
You must have your own equipment.
Reliable transportation.
Must be able to meet for rehearsals once a week.

If you are interested, please reply back to this email with a description of yourself, and any samples or links to previous performances.

We will be contacting you back individually to schedule an audition date/time."


So I have to audition, then rehearse once a week, for one unpaid gig? And there are no other band members yet? Uh, no thanks.

However, she is pretty hot, so she will probably get plenty of responses:
[Invalid or Expired Link Removed]

 

[Winfred]

"Attention local musicians: Experienced Female Singer seeking experienced:
Lead Guitarist
Bassist
Keyboard
Drummer

For an upcoming Summer Concert series show in Manassas. This is an unpaid show, but will showcase local talent, and will possibly lead to more local/regional shows.

Requirements:
Music Style: Pop/Rock/Alternative
Be between the ages of 21-35
You must have your own equipment.
Reliable transportation.
Must be able to meet for rehearsals once a week.

If you are interested, please reply back to this email with a description of yourself, and any samples or links to previous performances.

We will be contacting you back individually to schedule an audition date/time."


So I have to audition, then rehearse once a week, for one unpaid gig? And there are no other band members yet? Uh, no thanks.

However, she is pretty hot, so she will probably get plenty of responses:
[Invalid or Expired Link Removed]

She'll get a ton of responses from guys. Not sure how many will be good musicians. Or even musicians...

 

[BayStateBass]

Not sure what to make of this, but since I'm not a metal player maybe this is kinda the standard drum kit;


(BTW, this would be one town over from me)


[Invalid or Expired Link Removed]

 

[Double E]

Not sure what to make of this, but since I'm not a metal player maybe this is kinda the standard drum kit;


(BTW, this would be one town over from me)


[Invalid or Expired Link Removed]

What exactly do you find dumb or even unusual about it?

 

[TNCreature]

I must admit, I have never heard this phraseology. Could he mean frets? I would hate to think of 24 actual entry points!
And the model? "Shimmery"

IBANEZ BASS 24 ENTRIES - $500 (PHILADELPHIA)

[Invalid or Expired Link Removed]

[Invalid or Expired Link Removed]

SHIMMERY BLACK IBANEZ BASS WITH 24 ENTRIES VERY GOOD CONDITION.

Location: PHILADELPHIA

 

[TNCreature]

The Ad:

Fender starcaster - $2200 (Devon pa)
[Invalid or Expired Link Removed]

[Invalid or Expired Link Removed]

Hi there I'm selling my fender starcaster I'm asking 2200 for it
So if want to buy it give me a call at 610-213-xxxx but no texting me
Pick up only no checks cash only its in good shape must live in Chester county pa

The Response:
[Invalid or Expired Link Removed]

[Invalid or Expired Link Removed]

Apparently they have a different currency system there that ONLY works in Chester County? And it's like a 10-to-1 ratio to American dollars?

Or what?

 

[rolandm]

What exactly do you find dumb or even unusual about it?

With the exception of about 3 fewer cymbals and one additional piccolo snare, that's pretty much the same configuration our drummer uses.

 

[JFOC]

Fender Stratocaster Bass - $150 (Epping)

[Invalid or Expired Link Removed]

Fender Stratocaster Bass
Excellent condition
Soft case
Cords

$150.00
[Invalid or Expired Link Removed]

1 for 3 aint bad...

 

[Sonicfrog]

Hey... As a kid... I always wanted a Fisher-Price Stereo!!!!!!

[Invalid or Expired Link Removed]

And now I find myself GAS'ing for one of these!

Link Removed

 

[landau roof]

Just received this round of texts from someone on CL. I'll try to type it exactly as he did. Now ftr, I'm not religious, nor am I mad that the religious, and I genuinely appreciate it when someone says "God bless you." I just think it's a bit weird to come at a stranger like this, particularly the last msg.


Here goes:

Him: Will u take 35o.oo and a bunch of bass video's ?like victor wooten flea marcus miller able laboriel stuart hamm claypool ect,hundreds in videos?

Me: Thanks for the offer, but it's sold.

Him: Ok,God bless you man.

Me: You too. Take care.

Him: Do u believe in jesus?

Him: The bible says if you ask god to come to u he will if u do it with all your heart n soul,DEuteronomy 4:29,also look up john 14:6 jesus is the only way

Him: Last thing dnt ever take the mark to buy or sell on your hand or forhead cause the go to Hell,rev 13-2o talk about it 6 times,God bless c u in heaven.

 

[cyclopsbookworm]

I don't know if it's dumb per se, but this Ish drives me berzerk....


Fender telecaster, mim fender telecaster, fender stratocaster, made in mexico fender telecaster, mim fender strat, mim fender tele, fender tele mim, fender telecaster mim, fender telecaster mim stock pickups, pickups fender telecaster, telecaster bridge pickup, telecaster neck pickup, bridge pup, neck pup, fender tele, telecaster, tele, fender stratocaster, fender strat, strat pickups, pick ups, pick-ups, pups, stock pickups, Marshall, solid state, tube, dean epiphone schecter aria b.c. rich bc charvel danelectro esp fernandes g&l godin hamer hofner hagstrom jackson kramer music man parker paul reed smith prs mesa boogie jcm 800 900 2000 5150 magnalab xxx triple x 6505 3120 electric guitar carvin speakers marshall eminence fender peavey gretsch gibson bogner soldano orange telecaster stratocaster les paul 6120 musicmaster eminence, music musical instruments amp amps guitar bass microphone line 6 flextone II III spider fender gibson les paul schecter taylor takamine cables Marshall Mesa Boogie Peavey Diezel VHT Fryette Bogner Krank 5150 Lexicon EMG Seymour Duncans fender gibson marshall orange hiwatt vox blackstar matchless vht fryette demeter mesa boogie bogner line 6 egnater soldano bugera peavey carvin roland electro harmonix boss dod mxr devi ever ibanez gretsch PRS squier rickenbacker epiphone hagstrom g&l Musicman mike landau, john suhr, tyler, blackface, vintage, fuchs Mesa, Mesa/boogie, Marshall, Fender, stratocaster, acoustic, les paul, es-335, sg, Matchless, Victoria, Vox, Fuchs, Soldano, Rivera, Bogner Boss Peavey, Squier, Suhr, ESP, Schecter, Dean, Ernie Ball, Gretsch, Ibanez, B.C. Rich, Jackson, Kramer, Rickenbacker, Washburn, Silvertone, Parker, Dimebag, Takamine, Breedlove, Ovation, Marshall, Mesa Boogie, Bogner, Soldano, VHT, Diezel, ENGL, Framus, Orange, VOX, Krank, Randall, Custom Audio Electronics, Divided by 13, Bad Cat, Splawn, Roccaforte, Budda, Two Rock, Line 6, Roland, Fuchs, Hughes and Kettner, Floyd Rose, Digitech, Lovepedal, Empress, Red Witch, Yamaha, Taylor, Martin, Demeter, MI Audio, Catalinbread, Maxon, Dunlop, MXR, Boss, Keeley, Moog, yard garage sale, Tech 21, Electro Harmonix, Eventide, Fulltone, Hardwire, Line 6, Malekko, ISP, TC Electronic, Carl Martin, RMC, Voodoo Lab Fender, Gibson, Paul Reed Smith, Epiphone, Diamond, Skreddy, Way Huge, Pigtronix, norwalk, santa fe springs, commerce, east la, montebello, subwoofer sub wireless mic microphone rental rent, rock, roll, music, country, metal, punk, hardcore, thrash, death metal, black metal, cheap, economical, acoustic, electric, classical, jazz, blues, keyword: Shure, American DJ, Martin, fender, ibanez, yamaha, cort, bc rich, dean, esp, g&l, lakland,smooth, standard, vocal, mtd, musicman, peavey, ampeg, swr, hartke, schecter, squier, spector, boss, digitech, gk, eden, etc. tag: leo, fender, gibson, musicman, music man, guitar, p bass, precision, jazz, grabber, ripper, 4001, 4002, 4002, ash, alder, rosewood, stingray, split coil, humbucker, single coil, vintage, original, case candy, tolex, g&g, hard case, pearl dots, black, crackle, awesome, loud, solid, american, pickups, pick up, ESP, alembic, gibson, warr, stick, u.s.a., usa, mia, made in america, les paul, LP, ESP, telecaster, tele, deluxe, supreme, strat, stratocaster, jazzmaster, jazz, jaguar, SG, explorer, V, flying V, dean, cheap, affordable, value, vintage, guitar, carvin, mess, boogie, marshall , Fender telecaster, mim fender telecaster, fender stratocaster, made in mexico fender telecaster, mim fender strat, mim fender tele, fender tele mim, fender telecaster mim, fender telecaster mim stock pickups, pickups fender telecaster, telecaster bridge pickup, telecaster neck pickup, bridge pup, neck pup, fender tele, telecaster, tele, fender stratocaster, fender strat, strat pickups, pick ups, pick-ups, pups, stock pickups, Marshall, solid state, tube, dean epiphone schecter aria b.c. rich bc charvel danelectro esp fernandes g&l godin hamer hofner hagstrom jackson kramer music man parker paul reed smith prs mesa boogie jcm 800 900 2000 5150 magnalab xxx triple x 6505 3120 electric guitar carvin speakers marshall eminence fender peavey gretsch gibson bogner soldano orange telecaster stratocaster les paul 6120 musicmaster eminence, music musical instruments amp amps guitar bass microphone line 6 flextone II III spider fender gibson les paul schecter taylor takamine cables Marshall Mesa Boogie Peavey Diezel VHT Fryette Bogner Krank 5150 Lexicon EMG Seymour Duncans fender gibson marshall orange hiwatt vox blackstar matchless vht fryette demeter mesa boogie bogner line 6 egnater soldano bugera peavey carvin roland electro harmonix boss dod mxr devi ever ibanez gretsch PRS squier rickenbacker epiphone hagstrom g&l Musicman mike landau, john suhr, tyler, blackface, vintage, fuchs Mesa, Mesa/boogie, Marshall, Fender, stratocaster, acoustic, les paul, es-335, sg, Matchless, Victoria, Vox, Fuchs, Soldano, Rivera, Bogner Boss Peavey, Squier, Suhr, ESP, Schecter, Dean, Ernie Ball, Gretsch, Ibanez, B.C. Rich, Jackson, Kramer, Rickenbacker, Washburn, Silvertone, Parker, Dimebag, Takamine, Breedlove, Ovation, Marshall, Mesa Boogie, Bogner, Soldano, VHT, Diezel, ENGL, Framus, Orange, VOX, Krank, Randall, Custom Audio Electronics, Divided by 13, Bad Cat, Splawn, Roccaforte, Budda, Two Rock, Line 6, Roland, Fuchs, Hughes and Kettner, Floyd Rose, Digitech, Lovepedal, Empress, Red Witch, Yamaha, Taylor, Martin, Demeter, MI Audio, Catalinbread, Maxon, Dunlop, MXR, Boss, Keeley, Moog, yard garage sale, Tech 21, Electro Harmonix, Eventide, Fulltone, Hardwire, Line 6, Malekko, ISP, TC Electronic, Carl Martin, RMC, Voodoo Lab Fender, Gibson, Paul Reed Smith, Epiphone, Diamond, Skreddy, Way Huge, Pigtronix, norwalk, santa fe springs, commerce, east la, montebello, subwoofer sub wireless mic microphone rental rent, rock, roll, music, country, metal, punk, hardcore, thrash, death metal, black metal, cheap, economical, acoustic, electric, classical, jazz, blues, keyword: Shure, American DJ, Martin, fender, ibanez, yamaha, cort, bc rich, dean, esp, g&l, lakland,smooth, standard, vocal, mtd, musicman, peavey, ampeg, swr, hartke, schecter, squier, spector, boss, digitech, gk, eden, etc. tag: leo, fender, gibson, musicman, music man, guitar, p bass, precision, jazz, grabber, ripper, ash, alder, rosewood, stingray, split coil, humbucker, single coil, vintage, original, case candy, tolex, g&g, hard case, pearl dots, black, crackle, awesome, loud, solid, american, pickups, pick up, ESP, alembic, gibson, warr, stick, u.s.a., usa, mia, made in america, les paul, LP, ESP, telecaster, tele, deluxe, supreme, strat, stratocaster, jazzmaster, jazz, jaguar, SG, explorer, V, flying V, dean, cheap, affordable, value, vintage, guitar, carvin, mess, boogie, marshall Boss, Electro-harmonix This is not: Fender, Tom Anderson, Mesa Boogie, VHT, 290, Framus, EVH, Randall, Seymour Duncan, BadCat,TopHat, Matchless, Fuch, Bogner, Diezel, Blankenship, Divided by Thirteeen, Paul Reed Smith, PRS, Gibson Les Paul, Firebird, Flying V, Star, Guild, Taylor, Charvel, Jackson, Ernie Ball, GMW, GMP, Gretch, G & L, Fractual Actual, BC Rich, Xotic, Eventide, Lexicon, Diamond, Egnator, Voodoo Lab, TC Electronics 2290, Brownnote, Carvin, Randall, Orange, OD100, Fulltone, Dumble, Peter Thorn keywords: music musical instruments amp amps guitar bass drums microphone line 6 flextone II III spider fender gibson les paul schecter taylor takamine gig show band practice computer laptop XLR cables bar jam Marshall Mesa Boogie Diezel VHT Fryette Bogner Krank 5150 Lexicon EMG Seymour Duncans fender gibson marshall orange hiwatt vox blackstar matchless vht fryette demeter mesa boogie bogner line 6 egnater soldano bugera carvin roland electro harmonix boss dod mxr devi ever ibanez gretsch PRS squier rickenbacker epiphone hagstrom g&l Musicman mike landau, john suhr, tyler, blackface, vintage, fuchs Mesa, Mesa/boogie, Marshall, Fender, stratocaster, acoustic, les paul, es-335, sg, Matchless, Victoria, Vox, Fuchs, Soldano, Rivera, Bogner Boss Peavey, Squier, Suhr, ESP, Schecter, Dean, Ernie Ball, Gretsch, Ibanez, B.C. Rich, Jackson, Kramer, Rickenbacker, Washburn, Silvertone, Parker, Dimebag, Takamine, Breedlove, Ovation, Marshall, Mesa Boogie, Bogner, Soldano, VHT, Diezel, ENGL, Framus, Orange, VOX, Krank, Randall, Custom Audio Electronics, Divided by 13, Bad Cat, Splawn, Roccaforte, Budda, Two Rock, Line 6, Roland, Fuchs, Hughes and Kettner, Floyd Rose, Digitech, Lovepedal, Empress, Red Witch, Yamaha, Taylor, Martin, Demeter, MI Audio, Catalinbread, Maxon, Dunlop, MXR, Boss, Keeley, Moog, Tech 21, Electro Harmonix, Eventide, Fulltone, Hardwire, Malekko, ISP, TC Electronic, Carl Martin, RMC, Voodoo Lab Fender, Gibson, Paul Reed Smith, Epiphone, Diamond, Skreddy, Way Huge, Pigtronix, Toadworks, Lehle, xotic, zvex, matchless, dr. z Menatone, Boutique pedals, Octave, Eventide, Line 6, Flanger, Danelectro, Fishman, Seymour Duncan, effects, pedal, effect mesa boogie mark dual triple rectifier triaxis orange egnater mako 5150 6505 engl framus diezel krank marshall jmp plexi jcm800 jcm 800 soldano lee jackson bogner dave friedman marsha brown eye david bray fortin splawn boutique amp usa american cab krank gibson, fender, telecaster, les paul, sg, ampeg, ashdown, stratocaster, mxr, boss, dmb, dunlop, tennesse, atkins, harrison, de armond, seymour duncan, dimarzio, 57, classic, takamine tv jones, filtertron, g&l, duo, nashville, country, gentleman, vox, marshall, celestion, fuchs, morgan, tophat, king royale, club, artisan, blackstar, orange, ad30, ac30, jcm, blues, celestion, eminence, scumback, weber robben ford carlton dumble ultra baker b3 esprit

 

[cyclopsbookworm]

...and, yes, that's from a real ad...

[Invalid or Expired Link Removed]

 

[cyclopsbookworm]

[Invalid or Expired Link Removed][/QUOTE]


...best short bus ever.