...just started writing my new horror novel, KSB starring the Bass Wacker. Just trying to figure out a way to integrate zombie cheerleaders.
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Dumb CL Ad's pt 5, Dumbester and Dumberest
- Thread starter Thor
- Start date
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- Tags
- band craigslist metal
Note the title... I don't think this guy could get any more full of himself.
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Lol, I almost posted a similar one last night. They were claiming to already be a 'rockstar' with no band, no recorded tracks, and no history, much less a record deal. Ahh, craigslist. I like looking at the free section too...not to pick anything up, just to laugh at all the fools trying to get you to haul away their trash for free.
I saw a good one a few weeks before I found this thread...long since deleted, but the guy claimed to be a 'musician with a very large house' that wanted a 4-star restaurant to come cook for him and all his friends to 'promote their restaurant'. The kicker...he said 'this is a non-paying gig'. lol.
Drummer Lookin' To Start Or Join A Classic Thrash Band (The Valley, Chatsworth, Hollywood)
Hey I'm a Drummer who's been playin' drums for 9 years, I just moved out to Calidalifornia 6 months ago and I'm tryin' to find some mother ****ers to make a badass Thrash band or to join a badass Thrash band. I can play hard as ****, loud as ****, fast as **** and I'm energetic as ****! I don't use ****** ass double bass so if you want that **** then **** OFF! I ain't your guy. Some Thrash bands I like are: Megadeth, Metallica, ****IN' SLAYER!, Anthrax, Exodus, Testament (a song haha), Overkill, Dark Angel, Pantera and others. Other Metal I like is of course Maiden and Priest, Venom, BLACK SABBATH, Electric Wizard, Quiet Riot, Skid Row, W.A.S.P., Bodom, Diamond Head and more. Some Rock N' Roll bands I like are: Guns N' ****in' Roses, The Cramps, Ted Nugent, Elvis, Styx, The Runaways, Motorhead!, and many others. And I also like Hardcore Punk like Black Flag, Bad Brains, Minor Threat, Circle Jerks, The Adolescents, and OFF! and of course Iggy Pop, The Stooges and Sex Pistols. But yeah I'm just lookin' to join a sick ass Thrash band or make one that doesn't sound like all the "New Thrash" today like Municipal Waste, Lich King, and Warbringer. All those ****in' band suck besides a couple Municipal songs, so I don't want to do that type of ****, so yeah if you want to do the same as I do then message me back.
Hey I'm a Drummer who's been playin' drums for 9 years, I just moved out to Calidalifornia 6 months ago and I'm tryin' to find some mother ****ers to make a badass Thrash band or to join a badass Thrash band. I can play hard as ****, loud as ****, fast as **** and I'm energetic as ****! I don't use ****** ass double bass so if you want that **** then **** OFF! I ain't your guy. Some Thrash bands I like are: Megadeth, Metallica, ****IN' SLAYER!, Anthrax, Exodus, Testament (a song haha), Overkill, Dark Angel, Pantera and others. Other Metal I like is of course Maiden and Priest, Venom, BLACK SABBATH, Electric Wizard, Quiet Riot, Skid Row, W.A.S.P., Bodom, Diamond Head and more. Some Rock N' Roll bands I like are: Guns N' ****in' Roses, The Cramps, Ted Nugent, Elvis, Styx, The Runaways, Motorhead!, and many others. And I also like Hardcore Punk like Black Flag, Bad Brains, Minor Threat, Circle Jerks, The Adolescents, and OFF! and of course Iggy Pop, The Stooges and Sex Pistols. But yeah I'm just lookin' to join a sick ass Thrash band or make one that doesn't sound like all the "New Thrash" today like Municipal Waste, Lich King, and Warbringer. All those ****in' band suck besides a couple Municipal songs, so I don't want to do that type of ****, so yeah if you want to do the same as I do then message me back.
Ugh i don't know which is worse mr I sing like creed or mr I wanna be in a thrash band and refuse to use a double bass pedal.
I love his anger over people who use db pedals, yet his love of bands and genres that use them.
He doesn't like double bass - read cause I can't play DB for s*** He also likes to play real loud so he can trash your stage mix and FOH mix too. ROFLMAO 
You will consider $300 a bargain when he lets you keep your life.
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I actually really dig it, if it works. The more your case or gear stands out, the less steal-happy people get with it. That's why Camrys disappear but Ferraris don't.
I, um...uhhhh...well you can decide if this is real or not.
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Respond to the ad. Set the meeting for a coffee shop. Turn on phone camera. Come back here and post video of idiot who shows up. We laugh. Win all around.
Ha, that would be great, but I have a family to feed. Who knows what else he's been scheming in his room in 28 years!
And I shoulda copied & pasted for all to see..I know I have a hard time at work opening some links. Here you go:
Peacenik and Communist Bassist seeks Hand Holding and longing stares. ((Sigh))
Is your band looking for a bass player?
Are you afraid of bassplayers (with Peavey Equipment) who have explosive diarrhea?
Well, look no further.
I've been playing in my room for 28 years.
I tend to cower and whimper in the presence of real man musicians
I have some borrowed equipment.
I have experience booking mismatched shows and stealing from bands.
I have my own personal artist contacts; I like to mix and match sometimes...one pink contact, and one purple
I'm looking for a band in the spectrum of Morrissey, Morrisette, Monkey Dicks and more... shoot me an e-mail and let's chat.
Sex with seniors, laxative drugs, and turn and position are all fine by me.
gg
OK, I know you'll all want to move to Cincinnati to play with this guy (leave your loud rack-mounted equipment at home).
Looking to form a no BS band (Milford)
Listen, I'm a really good songwriter, I'm a great utility guitarist, and I have stage presence for days. I expect to play shows, I expect to make money, and I know I have that IT factor that will lead this band to greatness.
SO NO DRAMA.
I need a dependable drummer who will take care of his drumming realm, bringing the thunder, at break neck speed (when necessary). Drummer, you are not allowed to complain. You are not allowed to make suggestions. You are not allowed to play "tribal" beats, go to half time all of the time, or twirl your sticks. I WILL NOT TOLERATE you stealing my girlfriend. I'm between gf's right now, but I have a ton of prospects. So in a month, when this project is well off of the ground and I have a super hot gf, I WILL KICK YOU OUT IF YOU STEAL HER.
I need a rocking hard lead guitarist with licks for days. No drugs, no BS, no "big man on campus" macho BS. I expect you to play a GIBSON Les Paul guitar, have a full MARSHALL stack (pre-80s), and have only two pedals: A wah and a channel switch. THAT'S IT. NO MONSTER PEDAL BOARDS. THAT'S DRAMA AND I DON'T ACCEPT DRAMA.
I need a bass player who does not suck. Your gear should be good, but not too loud. No rack mounted equipment allowed, it's too loud. Also, you are not allowed to have a day job because I will not tolerate excuses about "needing to go to work in the morning."
I am willing to compromise, and I may decided to play bass or drums. But I will always sing, I need to express myself. Once I get a sense of who is responding I will plan accordingly.
Rock'N'Roll 4 lyfe
Looking to form a no BS band (Milford)
Listen, I'm a really good songwriter, I'm a great utility guitarist, and I have stage presence for days. I expect to play shows, I expect to make money, and I know I have that IT factor that will lead this band to greatness.
SO NO DRAMA.
I need a dependable drummer who will take care of his drumming realm, bringing the thunder, at break neck speed (when necessary). Drummer, you are not allowed to complain. You are not allowed to make suggestions. You are not allowed to play "tribal" beats, go to half time all of the time, or twirl your sticks. I WILL NOT TOLERATE you stealing my girlfriend. I'm between gf's right now, but I have a ton of prospects. So in a month, when this project is well off of the ground and I have a super hot gf, I WILL KICK YOU OUT IF YOU STEAL HER.
I need a rocking hard lead guitarist with licks for days. No drugs, no BS, no "big man on campus" macho BS. I expect you to play a GIBSON Les Paul guitar, have a full MARSHALL stack (pre-80s), and have only two pedals: A wah and a channel switch. THAT'S IT. NO MONSTER PEDAL BOARDS. THAT'S DRAMA AND I DON'T ACCEPT DRAMA.
I need a bass player who does not suck. Your gear should be good, but not too loud. No rack mounted equipment allowed, it's too loud. Also, you are not allowed to have a day job because I will not tolerate excuses about "needing to go to work in the morning."
I am willing to compromise, and I may decided to play bass or drums. But I will always sing, I need to express myself. Once I get a sense of who is responding I will plan accordingly.
Rock'N'Roll 4 lyfe
"Casting" band members with bad grammar for no pay AND NO BASS PLAYER. To "Take it to the next level" I hate everything about this advert. 
Plus, I can't even understand what it is; a band? a show? a scam? A delusion? The grammar and spelling makes it an enigma.
Experience A Fresh Start With a Newly Started Band( Casting Now ) (Center City Philadelphia)
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Ent Management Company seeking a newly considered success band that will be popular by demand ( MAKING THE BAND ) All types of styles & Music will be considered in our performances.
Looking to start a brand new band( with band members )
In where looking to include:
*Host ( That can keep the crowd happy & entertained)
*Lead Singer ( With great voice )
*Acoustic Guitarist ( Semi - Experienced ) If you can sing as well that will be great
*Drummer ( Semi- Experienced )
*Pianist ( Semi - Experienced )
Our mission is to perform live at venues and or showcasing, followed up with band self promoted concerts and or performances. This is a newly formed group there for there are are no pay included until band is ready for self promoted status performances. This is ideal for someone who Love's their music talents and are looking to take there creativity to the next level ( Publicly ).
What's great about this band is it representation and sponsors that are ready to invest and promote.
Casting is simple just
Please submit the following:
Email address
Recent Photo of yourself
Name / Age
Brief Bio
Up to date recording of yourself playing your instrument and or live audio records of you playing or singing.
And a short intro as to why you think you have what it takes to be apart of this band.
Attitude means everything please make sure your one that is easy to get along with. (Serious Inquires Only)
Casting Dates:
May 10, 2013 Must confirm with proper submission requirements to be considered and given a location Address in date
( May 10th will just be a face to face meeting ) however following up with a live performance date there after to see you perform live in front of live audience.
Good Luck
Plus, I can't even understand what it is; a band? a show? a scam? A delusion? The grammar and spelling makes it an enigma.Experience A Fresh Start With a Newly Started Band( Casting Now ) (Center City Philadelphia)
[Invalid or Expired Link Removed]
Ent Management Company seeking a newly considered success band that will be popular by demand ( MAKING THE BAND ) All types of styles & Music will be considered in our performances.
Looking to start a brand new band( with band members )
In where looking to include:
*Host ( That can keep the crowd happy & entertained)
*Lead Singer ( With great voice )
*Acoustic Guitarist ( Semi - Experienced ) If you can sing as well that will be great
*Drummer ( Semi- Experienced )
*Pianist ( Semi - Experienced )
Our mission is to perform live at venues and or showcasing, followed up with band self promoted concerts and or performances. This is a newly formed group there for there are are no pay included until band is ready for self promoted status performances. This is ideal for someone who Love's their music talents and are looking to take there creativity to the next level ( Publicly ).
What's great about this band is it representation and sponsors that are ready to invest and promote.
Casting is simple just
Please submit the following:
Email address
Recent Photo of yourself
Name / Age
Brief Bio
Up to date recording of yourself playing your instrument and or live audio records of you playing or singing.
And a short intro as to why you think you have what it takes to be apart of this band.
Attitude means everything please make sure your one that is easy to get along with. (Serious Inquires Only)
Casting Dates:
May 10, 2013 Must confirm with proper submission requirements to be considered and given a location Address in date
( May 10th will just be a face to face meeting ) however following up with a live performance date there after to see you perform live in front of live audience.
Good Luck
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Strange Interference Near Septa Regional Rail
Do you live or work along the SEPTA regional rail lines? If you do, and have ever heard this sound coming from your amps or equipment, I want to chat with you.
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Long story short, when SEPTA setup the new SilverLiner trains, they introduced equipment that causes radio-frequency interference on any unbalanced audio signals within a couple hundred feet of the tracks. This noise is intermittent and not super loud unless you're using a guitar amp or analog home stereo equipment.
I'm not sure how much other people are being effected by this, so I wanted to share the audio clip and see if anyone else I know has observed the interference. Please let me know if you've experienced this and which part of the city you're in.
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
Strange Interference Near Septa Regional Rail
Do you live or work along the SEPTA regional rail lines? If you do, and have ever heard this sound coming from your amps or equipment, I want to chat with you.
[Invalid or Expired Link Removed]
Long story short, when SEPTA setup the new SilverLiner trains, they introduced equipment that causes radio-frequency interference on any unbalanced audio signals within a couple hundred feet of the tracks. This noise is intermittent and not super loud unless you're using a guitar amp or analog home stereo equipment.
I'm not sure how much other people are being effected by this, so I wanted to share the audio clip and see if anyone else I know has observed the interference. Please let me know if you've experienced this and which part of the city you're in.
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
This is the best thread I've ever read. I've had a good hour and a half of constant laughter. My office mates think I'm going crazy. Thanks to all who contributed.
