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Dumb CL Ad's pt 5, Dumbester and Dumberest

Not dumb, but kind of funny

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Drummer looking for Roadie


Roadie Needed!

Greetings potential roadies! If you want a career that guarantees a 6-figure income with lots of room for growth, you should NOT be reading this ad!!

If, however, you are hardworking, have a strong back, can follow extremely simple instructions, and suffer from an irrepressible work ethic, I have the right job for you!

In short, you will be helping out a drummer that has some aches and pains. I have a bad back, bad knees, shoulder problems, arthritis, and a few other conditions.

I need help moving and setting up my drums. I can play them just fine (not really; it hurts) but I really can't do the set up portion any longer.

I will pay cash and if I get free drinks at a gig I will be more than happy to give them to you.

I have a walk-in trailer that I transport my gear in. My entire kit fits on two carts. Everything is super organized and stands don't even need to be broken down for transport! How easy is that?!?!? If my body didn't hurt all over it would be easy!

I'll pay even more if you transport the drums in your own vehicle!

What will make you a great roadie for me are the following skills/traits:

You can handle your drugs and alcohol (preferably you are sober);
You know a little something about music;
You have knowledge of drums;
You are dedicated;
You are reliable;
You are not in a co-dependent relationship!

I only need you a few nights a month -- mostly Friday or Saturday nights. Most gigs would be from 8pm till 2am (standard gig times at bars).

Really, you only have a about 30 minutes of work total: 15 minutes setting up and 15 minutes tearing down. What you do in between set up and tear down, I don't care! Go home! Eat dinner! Watch a movie! Go out on a date! Take a nap! Or hang out and watch the band. It's up to you.

Now at this point you're asking yourself, "Why don't the dudes in your band help you set up?". I don't have an answer.
 
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Wouldn't you think that if you're trying to score a couple of grand for one of your basses, you may want to consider taking a photograph where the image displayed is a clear representation of what it actually is?

Did they add those images since you posted that? Looks about like the images on one Guitar Center had listed for a similar price...
 
Somebody seems to have a sense of humor:

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Triangle player looking to join rock band (Duluth)
Looking to join a Kick ass band or start one, I play one mean triangle . I have been known to play two at one time , if I get enough sugar in me and if it gets past my bed time . I become a little goofy. Really can't play gigs out of town as I ride the bus. I like acid rock and Adele played backwards . Not into the drug scene . Actual I don't even know where to get um.Band mates need be meet my mom first for her approval . Ya that sucks but if we want cookie and milk after a night of jamming , we do what we have too. Have a place if we need one to practice , that is if your not a scaredy cat and your afraid of heights. My old tree house that I converted into a jam hut . Heat plus and extension cord for a organ , if we can get one up there. Hit me up and let's rock out. Email only I don't want a parent intervention before we get off the ground
 
This one isn't a cl ad, just something dumb I heard when I was picking up my Warwick at the music store. There was this guy complaining about how bad the customer service was and the warranty was on an acoustic instrument he purchased (a $200 Ibanez). He was saying the neck split and the manufacturer wouldn't pay for a replacement. Why did it split, you ask? Well he took an acoustic instrument camping, increase in elevation of 4,000 feet, and the neck warped and cracked. Duh.
 
Not listing this 'cause it's dumb per se, but I read the line about wanting people between 20 and 30 and then look at the pic and think than none of them look over 18...maybe they need at least one person who can legally get into bar gigs, or something...

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Band Looking... (Manteca, CA)

Hey everyone! Manteca band is seeking drums to complete line up.. Our goal is to bring rock and roll back to the music scene as well as bring SHOWS back. I'm not talking about little concerts, no I'm talking about theatrics.
Not gonna drag this ad out....we're looking for people who aren't afraid to be "Rockstars". I'm talking look and attitude not ego. We do not want someone who has a huge ego. This band is a family. It's serious and it'll be a killer thing once it takes off. We don't want to make local bars or clubs our only goal, our goals are for arenas and HUGE stages.. We're looking for touring and longevity.

Influences:
- Motley Crue
- Guns N Roses
- LA Guns
- Black Veil Brides
- Poison
- Etc.

Qualifications:
- MUST be open minded
- Committed and dedicated
- Must have own gear and reliable transportation
- Have stage image (no shorts, sandals, etc)
- Must be willing to spend time to help write songs and contribute ideas
- Age: 20-30 years old
- Preferably no other obligations (kids, family, etc.) May make exceptions
-Some band experience

Location: Manteca, CA
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

Posting ID: 4127628806

Posted: 2013-10-13, 4:07PM PDT

email to a friend
 
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Is looking for a band that will have me. I have been noodling around for a few days. I think I can do this. I want to be a Rawk Star ( tried porno, but let's not go there). So I went out and bought me the best cheap gear my beer can collection money would buy and now after some meds and a few slugs of cheap vodka, I'm on it! Even though I am cross eyed, I have the image ( less the bad eye thing,epilepsy,severe bouts of depression brought on by my lack of self confidence and my conditions and the fact that after the porno thing I'm really needing this) .. But really I am the next big thing! Really! I have a really old bass and a big ass tube amp with two fifteens to hold down the one note root pulse that bass is meant for. Don't ask me to play any thing other than the root I hear in my head, cuz like I said, I just started to play.

If you can dig it, so can I.
Let's Rawk N Vomit ( just a side effect of me taking meds and drinking till I fall down. You will need to watch over me so I don't choke on my spew).

Cool??

Perfect! Hit me up!
 
This guy's been running this ad for months. Because, you know, musicians need to come in pairs, and can't possibly play otherwise:

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Guitar / Vox seeks an intermediate bass and drummer that are friends and / or have THAT HAVE PLAYED OR JAMMED TOGETHER for 60's to 80's, blues, British, etc. - I am an intermediate musician that can play a lot of tunes of this era. I would like to get tighter with just a trio and maybe do a few small gigs before adding other musicians - (754) 235-7914 - Erick - Phone only please - THX!! Please don't call me unless there are two of you; a drummer and a bassist THAT HAVE AT LEAST JAMMED TOGETHER..

Beginner / intermediate musicians are OK with me to help me get my chops more together. I know lots of easy songs to jam on or we can freeform improve!

Intermediate musicians that would like to work as a trio before adding other members is OK, also.

Again; please don't call me unless there are two of you; a drummer and a bassist THAT HAVE AT LEAST JAMMED TOGETHER..Thanks
 
Listing from Kijiji our Canadian Craigslist type site

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4 string jazz bass guitar for sale. Squire by Fender. Plays really smooth, brand new strings. Guitar is like new, barely used/played, treated like gold, not a scratch on it. Took it to long and mcquade to be priced so $750 is FIRM. Only serious inquires, no "I'll take it for this much". Text ONLY, I will not answer calls.
 
Listing from Kijiji our Canadian Craigslist type site

Link Removed

4 string jazz bass guitar for sale. Squire by Fender. Plays really smooth, brand new strings. Guitar is like new, barely used/played, treated like gold, not a scratch on it. Took it to long and mcquade to be priced so $750 is FIRM. Only serious inquires, no "I'll take it for this much". Text ONLY, I will not answer calls.

LOL really! I wonder who at Long & McQuade (if he even really took it there) told him it was worth that much? What do those basses sell for new up there?
 
Nearest L & M is 100 miles away so I'm thinking they've never seen it. L & M sell the Affinity's for 180.00, Deluxe 5 string Jazz for 330.00 and Classic Vibe 60's for 380.00. I'm betting it's likely an Affinity Model.

Maybe he called them and said I have a Fender Jazz bass how much is a used one worth but never told them it was a Squirer. 750 would be in the ballpark for a decent used MIA Jazz BASS.