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Dumb CL Ad's pt 5, Dumbester and Dumberest

#882
winstonthecat said:
GUITARIST,BASS,DRUMS,VOCALS Needed For Band


This Is What We Look Like
Click to expand...
Sounds like "a band needed to form a band" instead of "I would like to join a band."

Since he is also looking for a drummer, I assume the drummer from the video is gone and that last sentence should be "This is what I look like" and maybe every word shouldn't start with a capital.

Still, it is better for this young guy being out there and trying to make something happen, than to be sitting in mom's basement playing video games or spending all day watching fail compilation videos on youtube.
 
#887
Was there a full moon last night?

"Rock your ****ing face off, man (Northside)

Hot **** guitarist looking for similar bad-assed musicians.

Bass: You own the show, mutha ******. Own that ****. Lay down the groove so I can ******* pwn that pocket. I wanna spray my musical j@zz all over that crowd.

Drums: Keith Moon or die, ************. If you don't have at least a drinking problem, don't bother responding. Cokeheads are a plus. Adderal? **** yeah. Flash of green light, *******. And if you don't know what I'm talking about, **** off.

Horns: **** you. Get a real job.

Hipster chicks with no bona fide musical talent: You will be consider on the basis of your hotness."

I'm tempted to reply and ask if there's a bass I can borrow, oh yeah, I'll need a ride too.
 
#889
Nudist Trance Polka-Core Band.
Yep.

[Invalid or Expired Link Removed]

It Reads:
Must be willing to be committed. I'm an easy-going guy (and the largest member of the band) who had to unfortunately fire the bass player, guitar player, drummer, horn section, accordionist, and singer because they lacked dedication to the project (and some were larger than me).
No wanna-bees, druggies, drinkers, straight-edges, or teetotalers.
The band name is Nice Driveway and our agent is currently booking us in the regional bar mitzvah circuit (we don't play bat mitzvahs -that would be just wrong).
If you're ready to help take Buffalo's premiere Nudist Trance Polka-Core band, Nice Driveway, to the next level then hit me up -send song samples, resume, three references, stool sample, 8x10 full-frontal glossy (the glossier the better), etc. MUST HAVE THE LOOK (but must not be larger than me).
 
#890
Saw this last night and I just had to share it. There's absolutely nothing wrong with this ad.

Thank you for reading my post! I'm assuming you are a bassist and boy are we interested in talking with you! We are a local Rock, Funk, Alternative band that has been around for the last couple years. We have gone through two bassists (both moving away) and although they were good guys we are looking for the final perfect piece to our well oiled machine. We are almost done recording our first album so we will hopefully have material easily accessible for you to learn some of our established songs (we play all originals but are open to the occasional cover). If not we will be more then happy to work with you too. We also have plenty of tracks that need bass, and are itching to write new material in the new future, along with getting you all ready for shows and contests etc in the coming months.

So our influences. Although we have many I will list a few... Red Hot Chili Peppers, Muse. Pixies, Soundgarden, etc etc. We are constantly be influenced all the time and when you listen to our songs you will see that we don't write the same song over and over.

We are looking for a bassist of any skill level, although skill is probably going to be a helping factor for what we are looking for. We want a bassist who doesn't just blend into the background and is forgotten, but instead is playing strong, powerful, sometimes lead and can keep up with our drummer and guitar player. Think Flea, Victor Wooten, etc etc. A Bass player who is an equal fourth of the band. We also would like you to be able to write songs with us. We write very different depending on the day. Sometimes through jams, something somebody wants to share, based off lyrics, etc etc.
Click to expand...

You don't need skill. Probably. We just want someone like Flea or Victor Wooten. You can start by learning our established songs that we've already recorded, if they exist, or recording bass lines to the many songs that our previous two bass players didn't bother playing on. Also, "contests." It seems so normal as to be almost dull, but with subtle yet strong contradictions... I don't think they have the slightest idea what they're trying to achieve here.

found at [Invalid or Expired Link Removed]
 
#891
morrisonhendrix said:
I only made it through 45 seconds of that before I shut it off. So many problems there, where to begin?
Click to expand...

I'm a glutton for punishment, so I'm currently holding out until the end. The dude singing is wearing a Megadeth shirt. If Mustaine saw this, I think he'd change his band's name just so it's never associated with this video.

On the plus side, I think these guys make the infamous Final Countdown band sound like Dream Theater in comparison.
 
#894
So we have this nutjob who posts 30-40 ads a day, and often more. This is what the DC CL musicians section looks like very often.
 

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#895
Sounds like a joke but....


[Invalid or Expired Link Removed]
I AM SUPERIOR TO EVERYONE ON CRAIGSLIST AND I REQUIRE BAND MEMBERS WHO WILL KISS MY ASS TO VALIDATE MY SUPERIORITY. NO TALENT NEEDED AS I HAVE A HARMONIZER. OPEN TO ALL IDEAS AS LONG AS THEY ARE MINE. YOUR INPUT AND IDEAS WILL BE CRITICIZED AND MADE FUN OF SINCE I KNOW EVERYTHING THERE IS TO KNOW ABOUT EVERYTHING. NO NEED TO ACTUALLY LEARN SONGS BECAUSE IT IS NOT IMPORTANT, THE ONLY THING THAT IS IMPORTANT IS THAT I AM THE BOSS. IF YOUVE EVER DREAMED ABOUT BEING IN A BAND WITH SOMEONE AS SPECIAL AS ADOLF HITLER THIS IS YOUR CHANCE.
 
#898
[Invalid or Expired Link Removed]

Favorite line:
EVEN THOUGH POSTING SOMETHING LIKE THIS MAY NOT BE ACCEPTED WELL, I STRONGLY BELIEVE IN GETTING THE TRUTH OUT.

Runner up:
TO BE HONEST, I DO NOT KNOW FOR SURE WHY EXACTLY THEY SAID THEY WERE KICKING HIM OUT, BUT IT WASN'T RIGHT. ... HE WAS ALSO THE YOUNGEST IN THE BAND BY OVER A DECADE.

I wonder who the author of this was? ;>
 
#900
winstonthecat said:
This one is funny in its minimalism. I like the "this is what the band sounds like" statement, when it is just him doing random shredding.

[Invalid or Expired Link Removed]


GUTARIST , BASS , VOCALS , DRUMS Needed For Band


© craigslist - Map data © OpenStreetMap
(google map) (yahoo map)

this is what the band sounds like.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qORMer8WkmY
Click to expand...

After the first 20 seconds of meaningless shredding, I found myself singing. ....

I'm in the mood for a melody, I'm in the mood for a melody, I'm in the moooooooooooooo d

LMAO
 

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