Dumb CL Ad's pt 5, Dumbester and Dumberest

[Gaolee]

Ego? Nah...

[Invalid or Expired Link Removed]

Hot bassist available for Casino band

I'm the best there is and I know it! Extremely talented bassist 20 years old!! Been playing for 3 years but most of the cats around here can't hang with me. Played two gigs but these kids can't keep up with me. I need to be playing the high end casinos or big concert stages...You won't find a better bassist than me anywhere in the pacific northwest. I'd like to play with cats that are at least 25 cause you've been around the block and no older than 30 cause I don't want to play with a bunch of old farts that can't get out of a wheel chair. You better be able to hang with me because I'm that good!!

I expect to be able to take home at least $300 a night per gig! If you can't afford that then higher one of these old grampa types who think they are good cause they've been around a long time, but they don't have anything on me.

I will not play that top-40 crap!! I will not play country!! I will not play in some crappy tribute band and I will not play in your poopy original band unless you are opening up for major acts and you have a highly well financed tour going to Australia or South America cause it's too cold here. Most original bands aren't very good and can't handle my awesome playing. I prefer to take my creativity out by writing my own bass lines for your casino band. I might play in your funk band or alternative metal cover band or even a big time blues band but you better be really fricken good and making a lot of bling!

I've also got an awesome voice but I really don't want to sing unless I have to. If I do you better have someone else playing bass so I can focus all my energies on my awesome voice!!

I'm looking to work every weekend so I can quit my office depot job. Most of the guys that work there are kind of dicks anyways. You better be ready to higher me right away or I'll have to find another band. Be warned I'm that good!

 

[TedH]

Excellent grammar and writing skills also. Wow. Looks like Office Depot is going to see a drop in stock price if this kid gets a full time gig; can't believe no one's signed him already.

 

[Ajapses]

Speechless....here. I'd like to comment, but need to process what my brain just read.

 

[Gaolee]

Speechless....here. I'd like to comment, but need to process what my brain just read.

You aren't at his level. Don't even try to process it. You can't, just ask him. You are probably over 30 and in a wheelchair anyway.

Somebody called him out, and he responded:
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Re: **Hot Basist available** (Seattle)

To the person that said "get over yourself" I'm good and I know it. I'm the best there is. I can out play you with one finger. I'm going to the top. You are just jealous cause you know you can't walk the walk. I walk the talk. Ima make some casino band famus cause I'll make them pop. When the big boys come through on the main stage there gonna snatch me up and I'ma make some casino band bigger with my sic bass lines. I'll be big and you'll still be hear. I'm that good.

Somebody better hire him soon, because he's providing way too much entertainment, and I need to get some real work done instead of laughing at him.

 

[Ajapses]

He appears to be losing literacy skills as he keeps writing. If we tag team him, at day's end we won't be able to tell what this dude is talking about. Signed: Another Neanderthal, Zero- Skilled, Yo Mama Dresses Ya, Mouth Breathing, Grumpy Old Fart.

 

[Gaolee]

There must be something in the water out here, because that kind of craziness pops up fairly regularly. Some hotshot decides to tell the world how great he (or perhaps she but I doubt it) is on Craigslist. Or tell the rest of us that we are old and in the way. Whatever. It keeps me going to back to Craigslist just to see what kind of weirdness happens. The comedy can't be topped.

 

[My name is Mudd]

I get the impression that he's actually serious (as opposed to his writing a joke-ad). Sad, when you start believing your own publicity.

 

[Gaolee]

Oh, I'm 100% sure he's serious. That makes it even funnier. If laughing at people like him is bad, then I'm completely evil now.

 

[NWB]

Oh, I'm 100% sure he's serious. That makes it even funnier. If laughing at people like him is bad, then I'm completely evil now.

I saw that one. I doubt he's serious.

I think he's just yanking everyone's chain. Maybe I'll "higher" him as sub for my Casino gig.

 

[LiquidMidnight]

Ego? Nah...

[Invalid or Expired Link Removed]

That's another one of those postings in which I'm not sure if the person is being serious or satirical. Unfortunately, Poe's Law takes precedence here.

In all seriousness, I'm quite confident saying that the best bass player is not 20 years old and the best bass player has definitely been playing for more than three years.

 

[nashvillebill]

You know what's really dumb? People who are selling Epiphones--but listing them as Gibsons.

 

[catcauphonic]

There must be something in the water out here, because that kind of craziness pops up fairly regularly.

Hmmm, we should try to get him down to the next local GTG here, so he can dazzle & shame everyone simultaneously.

 

[Ironbar]

You aren't at his level. Don't even try to process it. You can't, just ask him. You are probably over 30 and in a wheelchair anyway.

Somebody called him out, and he responded:
[Invalid or Expired Link Removed]



Somebody better hire him soon, because he's providing way too much entertainment, and I need to get some real work done instead of laughing at him.

Didn't you read the post? That's, "higher" him.

 

[Gaolee]

Didn't you read the post? That's, "higher" him.

Sorry. I stand corrected.

 

[jacksonev94]

File this one under "hilarious," instead of dumb. One of my new favorites.

[Invalid or Expired Link Removed]

 

[Hamlet7768]

Usually my local CL is just bleh. Then this happened, and I had a good laugh this morning.

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The Golden Age (Hades)



Seeking Musicians who embellish there actual abilities, Continuously stepping on your cord pulling it out of it's input jack because your old school and do not wish to embrace the technology of wrapping it behind your strap. Not turning down your master volume when plugging back in adding to the tonal experience appreciated. Dedication to the craft of up to two months then bailing with no explanation
should be considered. Remembrance of Lyrics, verses, chorus, tune, not necessary as they hinder the drinking and smoking necessary to achieve oblivion. Thinking of oneself above all others a must as the dedication and commitment they have made are secondary to your needs.

 

[Gaolee]

Hmmm, we should try to get him down to the next local GTG here, so he can dazzle & shame everyone simultaneously.

Absolutely!

 

[BigDBass]

It's Pretty Hard To Type Quickly While Capitalizing In This Manner:

METAL FEMALE(Or Male) VOCALIST/BASS/DRUMMER/GUITARIST/KEYBOARD (Midway Chicago)
Hey I Am A Guitar Player Looking To Either Join A New Band Or Start One! Iv Been Playing For About 15 Years And Played Many Live Shows With Many Bands! I Am Looking For A Bass Player/Guitar Player/Keyboards/Vocalist(Female Preferred) And A Drummer! Must Have At Least 3-5 Years Experience!

My Music I Like To Play- Melodic Death Metal/Thrash Metal/Black Metal/Shred Metal/Classical/Neo Classical/Blues/Hard Rock/Classic Rock! I Would Prefer To Play A Combo Of Melodic Death Metal And Thrash Metal! And Simply PURE F***ING METAL!!

My influences- Black Sabbath/Metallica/Megadeth/Anthrax/Pantera/Slayer/Death/Arch Enemy/Children Of Bodom/Jason Becker/Yngwie Malmsteen/Ozzy Osbourne/Guns N Roses/As I Lay Dying/Dimmu Borgir/Slipknot/Alice Cooper/Cannibal Corpse/Cradle Of Filth/Exodus/Dethklok And Many Many More!

I Have My Own Original Songs That Need Other Things Like Another Guitar And Bass And Pretty Much Everything To Make Them As Epic As They Were When I Recorded Em!


I Do Not Have A Working Car Right Now So You Must Be Mobile And Possibly Pick Me Up For Jam Sessions And Shows And ill Cover The Gas!


If Any Of You Are Interested In Starting A New Project PLEASE Let Me Know!

Emails ONLY!

Alright Metal Heads Hit Me Up Soon And Lets Shred!! Horns Up High!!! Thanks!!

-Jim

 

[Jamvan]

Anyone know any 'dark' bassline with lots of chorus? Maybe a cutter to boot?

 

[Howlin' Hanson]

Actually, sometimes my phone starts capitalizing every word in a sentence all by itself....and I don't know why. There must be a toggle I'm hitting by mistake, but I have no idea what I did, and I have to manually take off each cap.