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Dumb CL Ad's pt 5, Dumbester and Dumberest

#1,481
8_finger said:
One really, really special from B-more
WARNING: Explicit language below (I edited profanity as per forum rules):
[Invalid or Expired Link Removed]


GOD D**N GUITARIST LOOKING FOR MUSICIANS F**


TRYING TO START A F***ING HARD F***ING ROCK BAND.
HOW HARD CAN IT BE
DO YOU LIKE MUSIC?
REPLY TO THIS F***ING AD
DO YOU PLAY AN INSTRUMENT
(And yes I'm accepting mayonnaise too)
REPLY TO THIS F***ING AD
DO YOU LIKE PERFORMING TO GROUPS OF PEOPLE?
REPLY TO MY AD
Do you smell like ass?
REPLY
WHERE THE F*** ARE YOU PEOPLE
Click to expand...
You know, the sad part about this is the poor guy thinks his wife is going to draw people in. I think it will cause the reverse. I will never ever again ever be in a band with a husband/wife team. They always disintegrate. Before long, she will be running the band and driving everyone insane.
But, I'm a bit slow sometimes. It took me twice to learn that lesson.
 
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#1,482
Jim Nazium said:
Lots of good stuff in this ad. My favorite part is that his wife is going to "help" with stage presence and choreography (emphasis added). I can't wait to go to a rehearsal and have the drummer's wife telling me what to wear and how to move on stage.


"In search of skilled bass player to join a new band

What: In search of a seasoned / skilled: lead guitarist, bassist, female vocalist, male vocalist, and keyboardist to start a new group that will become something great that does not require much of your time! Practices will be 2 - 3 times a month, with homework assignments in-between to keep seasoned and learn new material.

I have a practice space in Germantown, MD and a PA system. Practices will also be fun with food, drinks, and, candles to set the mood.

The music: The band will cover the best of the 80's, 90's, and Today! Dance * Rock * Pop * Country * Funk * Disco * All Eras - All Styles! All songs will be good recognizable and bar/club pleasing songs! This band will be win-win because the music we play will please everyone and should get us lots of gigs!

About me: I am a drummer with a ton of band experience going back to the late 80's and have been in tons of bands throughout the years. My wife has the knack for what looks good on stage and will help with the band presence and choreography! Between the two of us, we are looking to stat something great! You can contact me at or you can check my drumming page out on Facebook at: Craig 'CAPS' Pardini

What is next: Must have PRO GEAR/great dexterity/dynamics/attention to detail/positive attitude/work well with others to be considered! Must have experience playing in bands and a high skill level for consideration. If you or someone that you know are interested, please contact me and be able to supply a demo / sound clip of your playing. You also need to be cool and fun to be around! I am looking to have all new members come in after the first of the year and have a meet and jam. We will learn 5-10 songs as homework prior to the first meet and jam and everyone will get together for the first time and see how things go. If it works out, we will be a new band and working on landing our first gig!"
Click to expand...
Is this her:
spinaltap24.jpg
 
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#1,483
8_finger said:
One really, really special from B-more
WARNING: Explicit language below (I edited profanity as per forum rules):
[Invalid or Expired Link Removed]


GOD D**N GUITARIST LOOKING FOR MUSICIANS F**


TRYING TO START A F***ING HARD F***ING ROCK BAND.
HOW HARD CAN IT BE
DO YOU LIKE MUSIC?
REPLY TO THIS F***ING AD
DO YOU PLAY AN INSTRUMENT
(And yes I'm accepting mayonnaise too)
REPLY TO THIS F***ING AD
DO YOU LIKE PERFORMING TO GROUPS OF PEOPLE?
REPLY TO MY AD
Do you smell like ass?
REPLY
WHERE THE F*** ARE YOU PEOPLE
Click to expand...
And we get to share the world with brilliant, intelligent, witty, expressive and creative souls such as this one!
 
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#1,485
Uh-Oh....another jaded, cranky musician moving to LA. I guess Portlandia really is an island of the mind.

Moving to LA soon, looking to start a band (Portland, OR)

I am about to move to the LA area and I would like to put a band together.
I anticipate my results will mirror those I had in Portland, which were a bunch of hipster losers who
would rather brew coffee for tips than make a living playing music, but I'll give this a shot anyway.

If you would rather be a success than some snotty burnout, contact me.

I have been playing for over ten years guitar, bass and drums so I know what I am doing. People who
don't know what 4/4 is or who can't play don't waste my time with your blah blah blah. I have no time
to waste here, I'm not getting any younger.

If how spiritual I am or whether or not I come from a good family is more important to you than making
music, then go be a loser and play on your iPhone. I am sick of getting jerked around by a bunch of
pathetic wannabes who will never accomplish anything apart from spending a lot of time on the
telephone and doing what you're told.

**I've been many times to Portlandia and surrounding areas. I think this CL poster will be disappointed
and bored in the city of Angels and even more grouchy.
Just a few of the "normal" sights in the Great North Wet:
Portland2.jpg
Portland4a.jpg
Portland3.jpg
Portland1.jpg
Portland6.png
 
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#1,486
dtripoli said:
Uh-Oh....another jaded, cranky musician moving to LA. I guess Portlandia really is an island of the mind.

Moving to LA soon, looking to start a band (Portland, OR)

I am about to move to the LA area and I would like to put a band together.
I anticipate my results will mirror those I had in Portland, which were a bunch of hipster losers who
would rather brew coffee for tips than make a living playing music, but I'll give this a shot anyway.

If you would rather be a success than some snotty burnout, contact me.

I have been playing for over ten years guitar, bass and drums so I know what I am doing. People who
don't know what 4/4 is or who can't play don't waste my time with your blah blah blah. I have no time
to waste here, I'm not getting any younger.

If how spiritual I am or whether or not I come from a good family is more important to you than making
music, then go be a loser and play on your iPhone. I am sick of getting jerked around by a bunch of
pathetic wannabes who will never accomplish anything apart from spending a lot of time on the
telephone and doing what you're told.

**I've been many times to Portlandia and surrounding areas. I think this CL poster will be disappointed
and bored in the city of Angels and even more grouchy.
Just a few of the "normal" sights in the Great North Wet:
View attachment 757465 View attachment 757466 View attachment 757467 View attachment 757468 View attachment 757470
Click to expand...

Great Job
 
#1,487
Bass Player (South Gate CA)
Sometimes I may sound like a piano player,
Other times as a guitar player,
And more often than not, as a bass player.

I might start with a few notes here and there but later on find myself adding more as the music and
inspiration grows.
I might start soft and easy and ad more definition and rhythm. Or it might just be something simple.

I'm a bass player with a secret synth player inside, giving the opportunity and music calling for it.
It does mostly depends on the music, style and the moment.

I own a decent sound box, a couple of cables, and some altering devices that go together. And all fits
snugly inside my means of transportation.
I can't "define" my own style because it is my personal style.

Huh? Sometimes we may think you don't know what you're doing and other times we may think you're brilliant but most of the time we're just scratchin' our heads going, "Huh?"

Pictures added to enhance CL ad.
rockabillybass3.jpg
jazz-chord-rootless-dominant-1.jpg

 
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#1,488
Northeastern Ohio never lets me down......


[Invalid or Expired Link Removed]


Looking For Crazy Bass Player (E Canton)

Looking For crazy Bass Player. (Mentally and Skillfully)
Music in the vein of. Bears in Ushanka,Daughters,Stand Before The Firing Squad, The Great Redneck Hope,Old DEP, The Sawtooth Grin ,Converge Etc. If you are not familiar with Chaotic spazz Mathcore then f@ck you!
We don't waste our time with Local Piddly Ass Shows.
Contact Us if Interested.

 
#1,490
Came across the following post on Craigslist this afternoon. :)

-----------------------------------------

AARON--PLEASE DO NOT START A METAL BAND

You have enough garbage bands in the Little Rock area to suffice. No need for your fat, bald headed, liberal ass, to start a new crappy band and litter the music scene with more mediocre songs, that you feel are pure genius . Maybe you should do us all a favor and take about 5 years off the music scene, to raise your baby ? Im wondering if you will be able to get taxpayers to pay the fees associated with the birth of your child ? Typical liberal.


[Invalid or Expired Link Removed]

Wow.
 
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