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Dumb Craig's List Ads thread

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If we hire this guy, we'll have a five piece band. Surely he deserves a 20% cut......

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Cowbell (Wineville)
Date: 2009-09-29, 3:52PM PDT
Reply to: [email protected] [Errors when replying to ads?]



I am Julio a cowbell percussion specialist available to help make music rock harder in your band. I do not play drums, tambourine or bongos only cowbell. I was raised on a dairy in Wisconsin and I had a one of a kind relationship with a heifer, do you suppose that had an influence on my desire to play cowbell. She gave me a fever and the only prescription is: MORE cowbell.

Anyway I have shared the stage with many magnificent bands including Billie American Idol, The Rainbow Unicorn, 80's Rewind and Harry Blondie. However from that experience which helped me to grow up musically strong I am looking for a permanent position with a true professional band that wants me to perform on the big stage for them with my powerful cowbell THUNK in their band's TRUNK! My name is Julio I live in Wineville (Mira Loma) and I look forward to hearing from you so you can looking forward to hearing from me and my magical cowbell, it's rhythm is so precise for dancing, music and fun. Let's make music, the wonderful product for every ears.

* Location: Wineville
* it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
 
A prog-rock band is advertising a "casting" on October 10th for a vocalist with a submission deadline of October 8th. You can contact them for "detailed information about the casting, conditions of participation, and location". Looking at their page they've been around since 2007, have played less than ten gigs and have a four-song demo recorded.
 
Pretty typical for this thread I guess. Funny how narrow the age window started out... I bet he opened it up to 21 hoping for alcohol :p

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LOOKING FOR SERIOUS MUSICIANS 16-18 (Washington, DC)

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Date: 2009-10-01, 12:56PM EDT
Reply to: [email protected] [Errors when replying to ads?]

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I am a 17 year old singer/songwriter, looking for serious musicians, age 16-21 for my quintet alternative rock band, Farenheight (vocalist, guitarist, lead guitarist, drummer, bassist). If you have any material that I can hear, please email, or link to the corresponding email address. Gigs will be available upon joining! you must have your own instrument (i.e. drum set, guitar, bass) Thank you for your time and consideration! And remember, you have to be serious about this! No GO-GO bands allowed.
 
At least he used punctuation, avoided all caps and *gasp* used something resembling proper grammar. That gets a +1 for me. Though, I wonder if the group name is a misspelling, or on purpose.
 
Yes but in The Commitments a heck of a lot of people showed up at the audition of a band that did not exist, including Link Removed.

A prog-rock band is advertising a "casting" on October 10th for a vocalist with a submission deadline of October 8th. You can contact them for "detailed information about the casting, conditions of participation, and location". Looking at their page they've been around since 2007, have played less than ten gigs and have a four-song demo recorded.
 
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Want to play just for fun. (Hollywood)

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Date: 2009-10-02, 4:22AM EDT
Reply to: [email protected] [Errors when replying to ads?]

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I want to start a band and you must...
I have original songs you must learn....
I will audition you if I decide...
I'm 12 years old and you must be able to keep up....(I presume potential band members Dad's must own a big station wagon?)
I'll decide what we do......
Send a picture (?) and info to..
Still - I remember the first "band" I played with. We spent as much time choosing a name as we did learning our craft! But we never had big egos. (The singer did and he died of an overdose whilst trying to cope with his perceived fame). Some friends even went on to great music careers. Do these writers realise how many experienced, but wary/jaded musicians there are in the market?

Still..
If anybody wants to sit around and jam with accoustics, never be famous, and look fugly with an older (50's), jaded 6 string player who has another solid 6 string that has a plug that goes to a black box that makes it louder, and has the ability to be flexible, play some standards and whatever else comes to mind, on an irregular basis just for grins. Please reply. No gigging envisioned, but if a local "play for beer and tips" comes along, I'm game.
Simple stuff and some harder stuff that takes much work is fine. (No finger-in-the-ear- folk music, religeous or "diddly-dee" songs. If it requires a chick with hairy armpits, Birkentocks and an Ovation to be present to make it work, I'll probably screw it up. Even flexibility has its limits).

The name BTW was "Athenas Quill". (The band name). It was 1970 after all. Feel free to use it if you are planning a Blue Oyster Cult tribute band.



Location: Hollywood
 
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Seeking Hispanic Male Musicians Age 64-69 for Commercial

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Date: 2009-09-30, 12:40PM EDT
Reply to: [email protected] [Errors when replying to ads?]

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Looking For Hispanic Male Musicians, Age 64 – 69 Years For Commercial / 1 Day Shoot $1, 000.

Must Be In Excellent Physical Shape And Look Younger Than Your Real Age

Need To Put Together A 3 Piece Group, At Least 2 Guitars Players And 1 Of Another Instrument.
Hispanic Male Musicians - Age 64 - 69 Years - Must Be In Excellent Physical Shape And Look Younger Than You Are

Send Photo And Contact Info - Phone And E-Mail - To [email protected]


it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests



PostingID: 1399750884

To bad its not asking for age 30-35 and look younger than you are, I got the Hispanic part down.
 
I had the misfortune of playing with a drummer recently that would most likely fit this project, as he had NO concept of how to play "real" music :rollno:


Avant Garde/Minimalist/Noise/Lo Fi group seeks more musicians (Surrounding Areas)

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Date: 2009-10-03, 5:58AM CDT
Reply to: [email protected] [Errors when replying to ads?]

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Group of young humans seek more young humans to bleed ourselves of whatever is troubling us. There is nothing required other than you hate this generation, and you leave your musical knowledge and influences at the door. **** music and **** MTV. Be warm blooded and vocal about your hate and contempt for our peers, and be willing to display this zeal in public.

We're not trying to sound like any other band, we just want to express out frustrations and our primal desires, so if you're wanting to bring some kind of personal influence to this, please don't respond.

The concept is: one 4/4 beat, an instrument playing one note for several minutes, and all other instruments doing whatever over it.
We're following the works of minimalist composers such as Philip Glass, John Cage, and John Cale. Being ignorant of this genre of music is A-OK. And being inexperienced at your instrument is also OK. We don't want skill. We want PASSION.

Also, you can play whatever instrument. Piccolo, Ocarina, Glockenspiel, Guitar... it doesn't matter; we don't care. Just reply.

if you're interested, email me at: [email protected]



:p ...
 
alright, this one takes the cake:

Trade custom bedframe for rickenbacker (Pomona)

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Date: 2009-10-07, 9:17AM PDT
Reply to: [email protected] [Errors when replying to ads?]

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I need a rickenbacker because I'm forming a rem coverband. I really want that rem sound and I know they played rickenbackers.

i have a custom bedframe for trade, but you f****r better sweeten the deal by throwing in a gig bag or some new strings. No lowballers!

[Invalid or Expired Link Removed]
 
That one may take the cake ... this one the BROWNIE!

i need a metal band
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Date: 2009-10-06, 6:46PM CDT
Reply to: [email protected] [Errors when replying to ads?]
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whats up,i play lead guitar and have been playin for about 4 years stuff like pantera , slayer , old metallica, black sabbath **** like that.im a 15 year old pothead/metalhead and im ready to have fun.need a band or people i can jam with.im movin to L.A next year and and would like to meet some peeps who can come with me and jam there if not still contact me@ [email protected] or call at 662 555 4317 come on metalheads lets party. i live in memphis
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it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests


Felixoutcoldthumb.jpg
...
 
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Drug, booze and God (Yeah, baby!)

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Date: 2009-10-07, 2:16AM EDT
Reply to: [email protected] [Errors when replying to ads?]

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I have a substance abuse problem. Also I beat up girls (sometimes even my own girl). I want to find a hardcore Christian band who need a ripping guitarist. I have the best equipment money can buy, and a new car. I don't get too ****ed up when I'm working (unless I'm encouraged). Check me out, I'm real good.


Location: Yeah, baby!
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests



PostingID: 1410134460 :rollno:
 
Original Page: [Invalid or Expired Link Removed] :rollno:

Black/Death Blood Core Speed Metal Christian Band Needs Members (Bako)
Date: 2009-10-11, 12:17AM PDT
Reply to: [email protected] [Errors when replying to ads?]

Black Metal Lord Jesus Worshiping Band looking to Spill the blood of christ in holy communion with you!! JOIN us an Hail Jesus by Growling his name and spitting the blood of christ onto our followers. Lets bring forth the 4 hourse men in a HOLY Onslaught of Axe Grinding Distorted Head Explosions! Looking for true followers of the White Jesus Lord All Mighty (Not the darker skin middle eastern historically correct jesus, he's a terrorist). Amen Brothers!

* Location: Bako
* it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests



PostingID: 1416159551


What has this world come to :scowl:
 
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