• TalkBass has been independent since 1998. Add your voice.
    Create a free account to reply to discussions, view embedded media, and browse with fewer display ads.
    Join free Log in
    Want zero display ads or expanded classifieds tools? Compare plans.

Farting during a show

Status
Not open for further replies.
#781
Jeff Martinez said:
*snip* Someone in that bunch was wearing the nastiest perfume I've ever smelled. She must have applied it with a Wagner Power Sprayer. *snip*
Click to expand...
Excellent descriptor!


Jeff Martinez said:
*snip* It took less than 3 minutes for the door to open with all of them giving each other dirty looks. It was priceless. *snip*
Click to expand...
Outstanding!

Jeff Martinez said:
*snip*I hope they enjoyed my dose of Chipotle #5. *snip*
Click to expand...
Gotta love it!!! :D:D:D
 
#782
We we`re playing at our local pivilion, after eating an indian of course, i had to let one go , just when the singer was taking in a lung full of the stench, i remember the song well, it was a led zeppelin tune, the immigrant song it was the intro, instead of ahh ..ahhhhhahhhhhahh, it went holy f------k who dun that , as the singer looked at me, we just kept playing the riff till the green faced vocalist, turned pink again, we could write a book about our band. , formerly buster hymen and the penetrations, thats another story , we were playing at the local church hall, & the priest stood at the front door with a pair of scissors, cutting the buster hymen part off the tickets, leaving the penetrations, & thats how the band became the penetrations,
 
#786
She read this and acted embarrassed... a right. About 3 minutes later she tells me a story... like I wasn't going to post it!


She is waiting on an older couple. The guy is heavy set and sitting across from his wife. She rips one and gives a funny look at the guy, and his wife gets mad at him! She let it slide....didn't back the guy up at all and blamed it on him.

His wife and mine look at him and he says "that wasn't me" and My wife says... "then who was it?"

He wouldn't say it was her! he just kept saying it wasn't him.

She actually got a good tip too. And its a fancy cafe/restaurant... I don;t know how she does it...
Jonathan
 
#790
The GoLean crunch produces pleasant and copious amonts of
gas. Added to the above mixture, the high protein high fiber
combo provides the perfect vehicle to deliver the goods.

OTOH, I have found that marinated mushrooms from the
supermarket olive bar produce painful crampish gas,
enough to double you over.
 
#793
I worked in the paint department at Montgomery Ward back in my college days. One day the gang and I went to lunch at a new Mexican joint in the mall. Well the food took full effect about an hour later.

I timed my release as I was fininshing ringing up a customer. A guy co-worker who I didn't care for was standing behind me waiting to use the register, so I let out the most godawful SBD as I walked away from the register and went into the stockroom to chat with some other guys.

About a minute later, the other guy runs into the stockroom all red-faced and cussing up a storm. "You SOB!!!! Don't you EVER do that to me again!!! That customer thought I did that!"

I then told my other co-workers what I had done and no one could stop laughing.
 
#797
Tonights the gig, and this is what you guys came up with as the magic mix:

Broccoli
Cabbage
Red Beans and Rice
GoLean crunch
Kim-Chee
Three or four hard boiled eggs
Pabst Blue Ribbon

I had the GoLean for breakfast, and it better provide propulsion because it's not as good as Cap'n Crunch.

I'm gonna have Kim Chee, and some other lovely spicy Korean foods for lunch, and some cheap Mexican food for dinner (extra beans please).

I'll have a couple of boiled eggs in the gigbag for before the gig. I'm not a drinker, but I'll have a cheap beer to continue the good times after the first set, and have a some eggs and broccolli.

Back in the day it used to be that we'd take a break in the parking lot during sets to "load up". Now I'm loading up in a different way, but the effect will be the same - bloodshot eyes and lots of coughing.
 
  • Like
Reactions: timplog
Status
Not open for further replies.

Latest posts

Top Bottom
Back