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Farting during a show

Discussion in 'Bass Humor & Gig Stories [BG]' started by jive1, Apr 11, 2005.

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  1. firebass6

    firebass6 Supporting Member

    Feb 14, 2008
    My guitar player was sick when we were on the road. (20 years ago)He had the worst case of perpetual farting I 've ever witnessed. And OMG the smell.He got the flu and the Sh**s to go with it. He was killing us on the bus on the way to the job. We loaded him up with Imodium. He was so embarrased that after every set he ran to the gas station next door to use the restroom. He'd let em rip on stage(we were on the dance floor) and the croud would look around and then dance away from him to my side of the stage. It was like the parting of the red sea, over and over again. We only played that venue that one time...I guess they thought the band stunk? We were just saying to each other remember when last weekend , then I came across this thread
  2. MazeMouse


    Jan 27, 2005
    O man, I just bombed my new band for the first time yesterday.
    Had some heavy bowel movements when I left home for rehearsals. Didn't eat anything specific for propulsion and sure as hell didn't have any "payload" but when I released the first one on my bike heading to the trainstation it made MY eyes water. It actually followed me halfway there.

    Cramped up in the train (I just couldn't bring myself to harm all those innocent people)
    Was the first to arrive and started carpeting the room. One after the other all SBD. Our singer walked in, said "hello" Stopped mid sentence and ran out. Poor girl didn't stand a chance :(

    Ive had some laughs that night, but I'm affraid I haven't heard the last of this :( :D
  3. Bassic83


    Jul 26, 2004
    Texas, USSA
    Had a muffaleta for lunch yesterday. It made its presence known a few minutes ago. I was outside talking to one of my cellmates and let one fly. Loud, but not that loud...then the gentle breeze lifted my Windsong up directly into his nastrils...sorry, buddy. He immediately said "Dang! That smelled like a muffaleta!" :eek:
  4. RicPlaya


    Apr 22, 2003
    The Mitten
    I have recently been playing drums in a new band. Drummers like keeping fans on in order to stay cooled off when really drumming you butt off. When I played bass I use to fart in my drummer's fan all the time so he would actually get force fed my stank right into his face. I recently have been using my fan as a weapon, pointing it outward at the band and wofting farts into my fan in order to crop dust the rehearsal space. The rest of the guys have caught on, when they see me turn my fan around they know I have a nice fart brewing and on deck ready to gas them out.
  5. ric1312

    ric1312 Inactive

    Apr 16, 2006
    chicago, IL.
    I am a certified master in ninjitsu crop dusting. I have killed many guitar players and drummers secretly and silently with my fumes of virulent death. All the while letting someone else take the blame. It never gets old.
  6. Lammchop93

    Lammchop93 Supporting Member

    Feb 4, 2007
    Louisville, KY
    That reminds me that hiding limburger cheese in a bandmates gear is really funny.:p Try taping some underneath the gui****s amp.
  7. MakiSupaStar

    MakiSupaStar The Lowdown Diggler

    Apr 12, 2006
    Huntington Beach, CA
    I just farted. Beer farts. Joy.
  8. Not a fart story "butt" certainly related. Last year before a couple out of town gigs we stopped by a vegan restaurant. Our singer is vegan but the 3 boys in the band are meat eaters. Everything was delicious but we were not used to all the roughage. Once we arrived at the club in Toronto, 2 of us made a straight line to the facilities. We both claim to have taken the biggest dumps of our lives! Must have been at least 5 kurics! Oh! and the smell! :crying:

    Long story short... the gig went well but the club closed down a short while later. We now claim to have destroyed that club. ROCK!
  9. chrstian08


    Nov 3, 2007
    to is Should i stya or should i go - the Clash, esspec at the start of the song, guess why? ;-)
  10. jive1

    jive1 Commercial User

    Jan 16, 2003
    Owner/Retailer: Jive Sound
    My arse seems to be struggling with stage fright lately. This has been going on for about 3-4 months now, and it's scaring me.

    I followed the advice on this thread, and some of my other concoctions, and I can fart and stink it up when I'm at my desk working or something like that. But at the gig, I get propulsion but still no stank. And as of late, no propulsion either.

    I'm really getting scared that I'm losing my "chops".

    Hopefully, this too shall pass. But quite honestly, reading others posts are good for making me laugh. But, it's a bittersweet laughter in that I have to live my fogging out bandmates vicariously through others until I can get my act together.

  11. Tendril


    Sep 28, 2004
    Cleveland, Ohio
    One time my dog let a loud one rip, and it scared him so much he barked at his own a**.

    Not gig related but funny.
  12. supermonkey


    Mar 15, 2004
    Atlanta, GA
    See: his OWN Windsong stayed on his mind.
  13. Lizooki


    Feb 24, 2008
    I was at a 4x4 offroad event this week-end and at the festival they had Ricochet playing the last night. The rhythm git walked back to the drummer and said something to him........

    I immediately thought of this thread! :rollno:

  14. Bassic83


    Jul 26, 2004
    Texas, USSA
    But did the drummer make a face, or turn green, or anything? THAT would have been priceless! :D
  15. Taurusmoo


    Apr 15, 2008
    After living through a month with medium good gas production but very low smell factor I finally caused a few rehearsal studio evacuations yesterday afternoon.

    The coctail that finally got me some fragrance was a mixed seafood pasta dish for saturday dinner with lots of chocolate icecream for desert, quite a few beers during the evening and a couple of grilled cheese sandwiches before bedtime. Sunday morning I had strawberry yoghurt with all-bran flakes for breakfast, together with lots of green tea, and I think it was the bran flake/tea mix that put the final touches on the sunday afternoon windsong.

    I almost thought I'd lost it, but I'm back with a vengeance and will investigate the indigestive properties of the green tea/bran flake combo further.
  16. funkboy5

    funkboy5 19mm + 35" = :-) Bass'd on a true story

    Jan 4, 2008
    San Antonio, TX
    Hilarious stuff!!!!!!!!!!!That's one way to add some "funk" to your playin'....... It can be problematic if it causes someone to miss a note drop a beat or totally space out on a passage. Damn it Jim!!!!!! I guess I'll have to start carrying a can of air freshener in my gig bag.
  17. toytech


    Mar 22, 2004
    San Leandro
    cliff bars for the win, I had the wife and kids ready to kill me this weekend.
  18. Lalo


    Sep 11, 2003
    San Antonio Texas
    <b>Dude this is so hilarious man, i cant stop laughing!! :)
  19. jiminy


    Sep 29, 2007
    Huh, you must be one of them fartless bass players I heard about.
  20. Lizooki


    Feb 24, 2008
    The git must have had some reeeeaaalllyyy bad gas 'cause the drummer made all kinds of faces the whole show.

    Truth is.....he had better "drum face" (?) than the bass had bass face.

    hmmmm - on second thought, the rhythm git was right in front of the drummer.

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