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Farting during a show

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#921
My guitar player was sick when we were on the road. (20 years ago)He had the worst case of perpetual farting I 've ever witnessed. And OMG the smell.He got the flu and the Sh**s to go with it. He was killing us on the bus on the way to the job. We loaded him up with Imodium. He was so embarrased that after every set he ran to the gas station next door to use the restroom. He'd let em rip on stage(we were on the dance floor) and the croud would look around and then dance away from him to my side of the stage. It was like the parting of the red sea, over and over again. We only played that venue that one time...I guess they thought the band stunk? We were just saying to each other remember when last weekend , then I came across this thread
 
#922
O man, I just bombed my new band for the first time yesterday.
Had some heavy bowel movements when I left home for rehearsals. Didn't eat anything specific for propulsion and sure as hell didn't have any "payload" but when I released the first one on my bike heading to the trainstation it made MY eyes water. It actually followed me halfway there.

Cramped up in the train (I just couldn't bring myself to harm all those innocent people)
Was the first to arrive and started carpeting the room. One after the other all SBD. Our singer walked in, said "hello" Stopped mid sentence and ran out. Poor girl didn't stand a chance :(

Ive had some laughs that night, but I'm affraid I haven't heard the last of this :( :D
 
#923
Had a muffaleta for lunch yesterday. It made its presence known a few minutes ago. I was outside talking to one of my cellmates and let one fly. Loud, but not that loud...then the gentle breeze lifted my Windsong up directly into his nastrils...sorry, buddy. He immediately said "Dang! That smelled like a muffaleta!" :eek:
 
#924
I have recently been playing drums in a new band. Drummers like keeping fans on in order to stay cooled off when really drumming you butt off. When I played bass I use to fart in my drummer's fan all the time so he would actually get force fed my stank right into his face. I recently have been using my fan as a weapon, pointing it outward at the band and wofting farts into my fan in order to crop dust the rehearsal space. The rest of the guys have caught on, when they see me turn my fan around they know I have a nice fart brewing and on deck ready to gas them out.
 
#926
dreadheadbass said:
a few weeks ago our guitarist bought a huge limited edition marshall stack and head.... it was his baby he'd get the duster out on it every practice and cover it up before we left

a few practices later i'd just eaten a chille kebab the night after polishing off a full portion of beef sproganof i waltzed over to his speaker cab before he arived and dropped the motherload of gas into his speaker cab (seriously it was a motherload it lasted 12 seconds and changed note 4 times!)
he turns up 5 min later walks over to his amp plugs in and starts rocking out for about 5 seconds before stopping and saying "uh guys why does my amp smell of eggs?" he then leant over and sniffed one of the cones.... i've never seen the colour drain out of someone so quick!!

he still doesnt know it was me :D
Click to expand...

That reminds me that hiding limburger cheese in a bandmates gear is really funny.:p Try taping some underneath the guitards amp.
 
#928
Not a fart story "butt" certainly related. Last year before a couple out of town gigs we stopped by a vegan restaurant. Our singer is vegan but the 3 boys in the band are meat eaters. Everything was delicious but we were not used to all the roughage. Once we arrived at the club in Toronto, 2 of us made a straight line to the facilities. We both claim to have taken the biggest dumps of our lives! Must have been at least 5 kurics! Oh! and the smell! :crying:

Long story short... the gig went well but the club closed down a short while later. We now claim to have destroyed that club. ROCK!
 
#930
My arse seems to be struggling with stage fright lately. This has been going on for about 3-4 months now, and it's scaring me.

I followed the advice on this thread, and some of my other concoctions, and I can fart and stink it up when I'm at my desk working or something like that. But at the gig, I get propulsion but still no stank. And as of late, no propulsion either.

I'm really getting scared that I'm losing my "chops".

Hopefully, this too shall pass. But quite honestly, reading others posts are good for making me laugh. But, it's a bittersweet laughter in that I have to live my fogging out bandmates vicariously through others until I can get my act together.

:atoz:
 
#933
I was at a 4x4 offroad event this week-end and at the festival they had Ricochet playing the last night. The rhythm git walked back to the drummer and said something to him........


I immediately thought of this thread! :rollno:


Matt
 
#935
After living through a month with medium good gas production but very low smell factor I finally caused a few rehearsal studio evacuations yesterday afternoon.

The coctail that finally got me some fragrance was a mixed seafood pasta dish for saturday dinner with lots of chocolate icecream for desert, quite a few beers during the evening and a couple of grilled cheese sandwiches before bedtime. Sunday morning I had strawberry yoghurt with all-bran flakes for breakfast, together with lots of green tea, and I think it was the bran flake/tea mix that put the final touches on the sunday afternoon windsong.

I almost thought I'd lost it, but I'm back with a vengeance and will investigate the indigestive properties of the green tea/bran flake combo further.
 
#936
Hilarious stuff!!!!!!!!!!!That's one way to add some "funk" to your playin'....... It can be problematic if it causes someone to miss a note drop a beat or totally space out on a passage. Damn it Jim!!!!!! I guess I'll have to start carrying a can of air freshener in my gig bag.
 
#938
jive1 said:
I know it happens, so share your stories.

We were playing for the Guiness Tap at a local Irish pub a few years back. During one of the songs that I sang, I let one rip. Couldn't help it, had to do it. As I was singing, the fumes made their way to my nose and I busted out laughing. I look over behind me, and the rest of the band was back against the wall to get away from my stench. One guitar player looks at me and mutters "You a$$hole". The drummer, who couldn't get away from me had the most sour look on his face.

There have been other gigs where I have let em rip too. Unintentionally of course ;) . My favorite target is the drummer. It's easy since I usually stand by the hihat. But, if the stage is big enough, I'm more than happy to walk over and share with others on the other side of the stage too. It looks like I'm rocking out with the other band members, but really I'm reaking out. Sometimes, I can get away with it and have the other band members blaming each other.

Yup, I've been a jerk when I was younger. Once in a while I'd walk by a guy who's trying to chat up a girl, and let it rip and continue walking away. Watching the couple's faces and awkwardness made for some laughable moments for me and my bandmates during our breaks.

I only do stupid stuff like that with bands that I have been working with for a while. I'd never to that when I'm subbing or playing a casual, and definitely not in the studio.

This is the humor and gig stories forum, so let er rip! :D
Click to expand...

<b>Dude this is so hilarious man, i cant stop laughing!! :)
 
#939
jive1 said:
My arse seems to be struggling with stage fright lately. This has been going on for about 3-4 months now, and it's scaring me.

I followed the advice on this thread, and some of my other concoctions, and I can fart and stink it up when I'm at my desk working or something like that. But at the gig, I get propulsion but still no stank. And as of late, no propulsion either.

I'm really getting scared that I'm losing my "chops".

Hopefully, this too shall pass. But quite honestly, reading others posts are good for making me laugh. But, it's a bittersweet laughter in that I have to live my fogging out bandmates vicariously through others until I can get my act together.

:atoz:
Click to expand...

Huh, you must be one of them fartless bass players I heard about.
 
#940
Bassic83 said:
But did the drummer make a face, or turn green, or anything? THAT would have been priceless! :D
Click to expand...

The git must have had some reeeeaaalllyyy bad gas 'cause the drummer made all kinds of faces the whole show.

Truth is.....he had better "drum face" (?) than the bass had bass face.

hmmmm - on second thought, the rhythm git was right in front of the drummer.


Matt
 
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