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Funniest Quote Ever In Rock

#101
I can't stand Eddie Van Halen's attitude but he had a quote which was great only for it's stupidity.

Speaking about Jimmy Page

" He plays like he's got a broken hand and he's two years old."

Funniest Lyric: "In The Summertime" by Mongo Jerry, "If her daddy's rich, take her out for a meal, if her daddy's poor, just do what you feel".
 
#106
Lemmy:
"If Motörhead moved in next door, your lawn would die"

Bruce Dickinson:
"We tread a fine line between taking ourselves seriously and being Spinal Tap"

And the Ozzmeister himself:
"Sometimes I'm scared of being Ozzy Osbourne. But it could have been worse. I could have been Sting."
 
#107
"All drummers want to be singers. I think it's a myth that the singer needs to be the focus. Bands perpetuate that myth. With somebody like Sebastian Bach it makes sense. Look at him. He could be in an Avon ad."
--- Mike Patton
 
#108
Rockmusician said:
I can't stand Eddie Van Halen's attitude but he had a quote which was great only for it's stupidity.
Click to expand...

I feel the same way. I'm trying to find the exact quote, but it was regarding the cancer on his tongue.

He said he didn't quit smoking after having part of his tongue cut out due to cancer because smoking didn't cause it.

He had a guitar pick with a metal tip that he would sometime hold in his teeth when doing stuff in the studio and all the electro-magnetic fields from the equipment transferred to the metal tip and caused it.


EDIT: It was a Sept. 8 2006 interview on Howard Stern. Found many thing referencing it, but not the exact quote.
 
#109
I cured my cancer in a way that’s not exactly legal in this country. I’d tell you, but I don’t want to go to jail. When you drink your damn draino it just holds it at bay. It comes back. Cancer is like a cockroach. It just comes back stronger. I’m tearing apart the immune system of the cockroach and seeing how it ticks. I’ve opened up my own pathology center. Some of us open tequila bars in Mexico, I’m curing cancer. They cut a healthy piece of my tongue off and grew healthy cells outside of my body and tested them. I’m missing a third of my tongue. They butchered me. I didn’t quit smoking after I got tongue cancer cause smoking didn’t cause it.
Click to expand...

Link Removed

Also...

http://www.flickr.com/photos/papernapkin/415752236/

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2008/03/04/eddie-van-halen-says-ciga_n_89867.html

Yeah, sure Eddie. Just keep telling yourself that.
Because, you know, starting a campaign warning folks about the dangers of metal guitar picks would be just too easy.

 
#110
What became John Entwistles annoyed standard response to all the well known drummers (Carmine Appice, etc.) who happened to call him right after Keith Moon's death:

Drummer: "Hey, I hear you might be looking for a drummer."

Entwistle: "Really?! We just managed to get rid of one."
 
#111
Phil Lynott was asked if he regretted the fact that Thin Lizzy never really broke big in the USA.

"Well, it's a little bit like regretting that you never f**ked Kate Bush. There's really nothing you can do about it, now is there?"


God, I miss that guy.
 
#112
My apologies if this one was already posted, but here's another one from the great Nigel Tufnel:

holding up unplugged les paul Nigel: "Do you hear that sustain?"
Marty: "No"
Nigel: "Well you would, if it were playing."

Also, during same display of his guitar collection:

Nigel: "That one's still got the tag on it. I've never even played it. It must never be played."

Marty leans towards it and points and starts to speak

Nigel, interrupting Marty,: "No, don't touch it!"

Marty: "I was just pointing at it"

Nigel: "Well don't even point!"

Marty: "Can I just look?"

Nigel: "No, you've seen enough of that one!"

I just happened to watch this last week for some odd reason, so I've had the quotes running through my head ever since.

Nigel: "I like fish. Tuna. In the little tins that you have over here. T-y-una fish."

I could go on and on, but I'll spare ya. Love dusting that one off and giving it a whirl now and again. Such a classic.
 
#117
heckler to steve albini - why do you suck so much?
steve albini - why do i suck so much?, because your mom was busy. YES I WENT STRAIGHT TO THE MOM

*fugazi sitting around a table*
brenden - my sister met a guy who found out i was his brother and ashed her "is it true they dont use heat?"
ian - not far from the truth this week
joe - well i guess were just a bunch of monks sitting around with no heat then

*my band walk out of the practace space to see a riot van outside*
chris - oh look, i wonder what the police are doing here
me - AHHHHH ITS THE ROZZERS *runs to the bus station*
 
#120
Band News...

"Oh, I get it. Alan's called 'Vim' and your Mum's dead...."

I think my favourite (and I don't want to paraphrase too badly here), was Steve Vai talking about auditioning for Frank Zappa's band. He had to play - solo - a lot of different pieces in different time signatures, and styles. When asked to play an impossible piece, Steve said (drawing from his amazing musical theory knowledge), "You can't do that!"

To which Zappa replied....."Oh...well....I hear Linda Ronstadt is looking for a guitar player!"
 

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