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I CAN'T MAKE UP MY MIND ABOUT MEN!!!!!!!

#63
disenchant said:
Why is it guys don't want to marry, oh EVER, or have relationships, EVER AGAIN after being shot down? Don't they realize that some OTHER girl might be THE ONE?

This is why I give up. I'm going to marry my bass.
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you are right in your thought that they just do not want one with you.

it's just a guy cop out to get out or stay out of a relationship.

don't worry there is someone out there for everyone :-)
 
#65
SMASH said:
Strike 1, 2, and 3.

Dis I'm reading this stuff, and factoring that the dramatic threads you start probably reflect that you're prone to drama in real life, and wondering how talk of long-term relationships even comes up with guys you met online two weeks ago and ... sorry but I'm not shocked you're having trouble finding guys worth having long-term relationships with.

:hmm:

Big plusses : you look good and seem to have a generally positive and grounded vibe with a nice smile. Join some social or activity clubs - try meetup.org - and get yourself together and I think you'll have plenty of quality suitors.
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I'm not so much into "I want a long-term relationship with YOU YOU YOU NOW NOW NOW NOW" as much as I would like it to be a option for the future IF things work out.

I suppose what I'm getting at is I believe you date someone to SEE if it's going to work. There's no "Let's get married NOW" it's just getting to know someone and moving through the steps of dating. But I'm not getting the option of a possible long-term. It's being squashed immediately--sometimes before I really know the guy. I think you never know until you try something. And I keep getting the same crazy reason "It will get in the way of what I really want to do..." Which we all know as bulls*it, a good relationship will HELP you get what you want and you make it work if it's important to you.

As for the drama--my life is a lot less dramatic than I make it sound. I think I mostly post with drama because it's more fun that way :)
 
#69
Keep trying the chicken and raincoat thing... then once you've lured him into your lair, tie him down and hit him with a ring and a JP, and voila! you're in a life-long joyous marriage!

Personally, I don't need a relationship right now. :D
 
#71
You definately give out the vibe of "I want to get married." He's not thinking that. Right now he's thinking "I've got these things to do, marriage isn't one of them. If I get married in the future, great, but that's too far off for me to be worried about it now." That's how I was when I was younger. If someone I had been dating for 2 weeks started talking about marriage of any kind in any form, I would run.

You 2 have different ideas about what the relationship is. You're looking at it as "Is this the person I will marry, because I"m going to marry somone." He's looking at it as "I may or may not marry her when the time is right, but that time isn't right now as I"ve got other things to do so I;m not going to think about it and just enjoy her. When the time comes I'll know."

If you want to get married in the next year or 2, look elsewhere. In the long term, what he said doesn't mean he won't marry you.
 
#73
tycobb73 said:
You definately give out the vibe of "I want to get married." He's not thinking that. Right now he's thinking "I've got these things to do, marriage isn't one of them. If I get married in the future, great, but that's too far off for me to be worried about it now." That's how I was when I was younger. If someone I had been dating for 2 weeks started talking about marriage of any kind in any form, I would run.

You 2 have different ideas about what the relationship is. You're looking at it as "Is this the person I will marry, because I"m going to marry somone." He's looking at it as "I may or may not marry her when the time is right, but that time isn't right now as I"ve got other things to do so I;m not going to think about it and just enjoy her. When the time comes I'll know."

If you want to get married in the next year or 2, look elsewhere. In the long term, what he said doesn't mean he won't marry you.
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Ugh, that is so. not. it. I never talk about marriage. I dated the last guy for 6 months before I asked him why he didn't consider me his "girlfriend." He said "I'm not dating anyone else and I don't want to, but I don't want a serious relationship right now." Serious? We saw each other every weekend. But we couldn't call it "exclusive" because...I don't know why.

I'm just trying to get to know someone and see how things work...I too believe that when the time comes I'll know.
 
#77
Vince S. said:
try eharmony.com!:D

If they can hook up a couple of 60 year olds (but they really didn't need to show them making out in the commercial :scowl: ) surely they can do something for you!
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Just don't mistype!

My wife's co-worker was in a similar situation and decided to try eHarmony.com. The only problem? He couldn't remember how to spell the name of the site and, as English is his second language, he tried to do it phonetically. He ended up typing...

eHorny.com!

A very, very different Web site, I assure you! :p
 
#78
disenchant said:
Ugh, that is so. not. it. I never talk about marriage. I dated the last guy for 6 months before I asked him why he didn't consider me his "girlfriend." He said "I'm not dating anyone else and I don't want to, but I don't want a serious relationship right now." Serious? We saw each other every weekend. But we couldn't call it "exclusive" because...I don't know why.

I'm just trying to get to know someone and see how things work...I too believe that when the time comes I'll know.
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Trust me, that's it. If it wasn't, you wouldn't have acted the way you're acting to his comment. You just don't think so because you're not blatent about it, but guys can sniff it out. Actions and words to other people speak louder than words to the significant other and you can always tell how a girl feels about this sort of thing through them.
 
#80
disenchant said:
I'm just trying to get to know someone and see how things work...I too believe that when the time comes I'll know.
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That line right there tells how you feel. You're trying to get to know someone to see how things work out. Work out for what? Marriage. He's getting to know you because you're fun to be around. He's not trying to see if things "work out." He's doing what he fines enjoyable to him at the moment, and that means being with you. If you broke up right now (kinda sounds like you did, I don't know) you'd be on the prowl for another man. He'd be look for something else that makes him happy at the moment. If that was another girl so be it, if that was his bass or friends, or multiple casual women, that's fine by him too.
 

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