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I CAN'T MAKE UP MY MIND ABOUT MEN!!!!!!!

#101
I could ask both of you the same question and get different answers.

If the other person told you they would never marry you, would you stop dating them now?

Your answer would be yes you would, you want to get married so why waste your time.

His answer would be no he wouldn't, he would still date you because he has fun when he's with you and marriage is a long ways off anyway so why think about it.
 
#102
soulgeezer said:
Translation: He's looking for a friend with "benefits." You're looking for a friend for the rest of your life.
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This is slightly unfair...just because marriage isn't on your mind, doesn't mean you're looking for a friend with benefits.

I'd rather have a couple of fairly serious relationships that DON'T end in marriage before finding "the one," because IMO a lot of the marriages that end up in divorce are because of a lack of experience. I've made mistakes with how I treat and respond to women, and I'm glad I made them early rather than when I was in a relationship with a significant amount of time and investment. I've learned from them and (hopefully) won't repeat them.
 
#103
labgnat said:
well it's clear the only option left is

LEZ FEST 07
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scissors.jpg
 
#106
When I was in college one of my freinds was pre med. The chances of her going to med school in MI (where we were at) were doubtful (she ended up in Calinfornia). She still dated, knowing that as soon as she got accepted to med school the relationship would be over. It was still enjoyable to her to have all the immediate things being in a relationship can give you. Your boyfreind is at this point.

And I think he considers you more than a freind with benefits. It sounded like he got jealous at his show the other night and showed others you were his. He is probably somewhere in between. He wants to date you exclusively, considers you high on his list of people he knows, but has goals outside of marriage. Mess with them and you're done.
 
#107
Your insecurities and low self-esteem are certainly not helping you Disenchant. I'd not be attracted to someone with a personality like that. I consider it "unbalanced" and "trouble" for the future of any potenial relationship.. a definate 'deal breaker' on the road to No Where.

You are too anxious, and men can sense it.. you are not at peace with yourself dear. And dating men younger than yourself is also a 'red flag' in my mind.
 
#108
Rattman said:
Your insecurities and low self-esteem are certainly not helping you Disenchant. I'd not be attracted to someone with a personality like that. I consider it "unbalanced" and "trouble" for the future of any potenial relationship.. a definate 'deal breaker' on the road to No Where.

You are too anxious, and men can sense it.. you are not at peace with yourself dear. And dating men younger than yourself is also a 'red flag' in my mind.
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The first one ever that was younger. The last were all at least 4-6 years older. Age doesn't matter. You can be mature at 25 or immature at 38.
 
#109
Its not insecurity thats the problem here, plenty of insecure women in the world, and plenty of em get laid.

The problem is talking about marriage after 2 weeks, period. You dont talk about marriage until you've been at the very least 6 months with the guy. Else its relationship suicide.
 
#110
And dating men younger than yourself is also a 'red flag' in my mind.
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LAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-

*sucks in breath*

-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAME.

IMO, older women in general are the shiz. I'm not looking forward to finding anything very serious at all this coming year because I'll be 2 years older than most of the people that are going to be in first year like me (1 year of a focus program, 1 year of college) and girls my age/younger girls (especially in their first year away from home!) are very much not looking for a relationship or even dating IME.

I'd love to find in 3rd or 4th year (or a little bit older) because I'm tired of the ******** baggage from younger girls. Not to say older women don't have baggage (...duh) but it's definitely not the same. My most positive romantic experiences have been with females older than myself.
 
#111
morf said:
Its not insecurity thats the problem here, plenty of insecure women in the world, and plenty of em get laid.

The problem is talking about marriage after 2 weeks, period. You dont talk about marriage until you've been at the very least 6 months with the guy. Else its relationship suicide.
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Actually you NEVER talk about it. NEVER. EVER. NEVER EVER.:ninja: :hiding:
 
#114
morf said:
Its not insecurity thats the problem here, plenty of insecure women in the world, and plenty of em get laid.

The problem is talking about marriage after 2 weeks, period. You dont talk about marriage until you've been at the very least 6 months with the guy. Else its relationship suicide.
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Who's talking about marriage after 2 weeks? Who's talking about marriage at all?

I wouldn't consider myself insecure or low self-esteem. I think I'm the shiznit. I'm mostly frustrated. Not because I can't get a man to marry me...cuz I haven't met the right one yet...but because I haven't had the chance to get to know a man well enough to even DECIDE if that's the route I want to go. They squash that idea before it's even an idea. I guess what I'm trying to say is I keep meeting guys who put the brakes on BEFORE there is even anything to put the brakes on. I haven't gotten to the point of deciding if he's "the one"...and already they're telling me they don't want a commitment. And I'm thinking...jeez that was fast. I don't even know if I love you yet.

THAT is what is frustrating.
 
#115
And thats my point. They squash the idea because THEY in turn dont know YOU well enough to interpret that question the way that you mean it. They freak out, and obviously, you dont mean to rush anything or even have a serious talk about it, but thats how men will understand you EVERYTIME you ask that question or get on that particular topic.

Give them time to get the kind of person you are, but even then, I would suggest giving the relationship time and strong foundations before you come up with a subject that can potentially scare men away.
 
#116
disenchant said:
Who's talking about marriage after 2 weeks? Who's talking about marriage at all?

I wouldn't consider myself insecure or low self-esteem. I think I'm the shiznit. I'm mostly frustrated. Not because I can't get a man to marry me...cuz I haven't met the right one yet...but because I haven't had the chance to get to know a man well enough to even DECIDE if that's the route I want to go. They squash that idea before it's even an idea. I guess what I'm trying to say is I keep meeting guys who put the brakes on BEFORE there is even anything to put the brakes on. I haven't gotten to the point of deciding if he's "the one"...and already they're telling me they don't want a commitment. And I'm thinking...jeez that was fast. I don't even know if I love you yet.

THAT is what is frustrating.
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That's because they're seeing the crazy eyes and watching your face turn into a clock. ;):p Many a strong man have run in fear of the biological clock. Either that or all the guys you are dating are just loopy and nuts. Which is also a possibility. Or perhaps they don't dig sexy asian chicks in raincoats holding a bucket of chicken. In which case I refer you back to the second possibility. ;)
 
#117
morf said:
And thats my point. They squash the idea because THEY in turn dont know YOU well enough to interpret that question the way that you mean it. They freak out, and obviously, you dont mean to rush anything or even have a serious talk about it, but thats how men will understand you EVERYTIME you ask that question or get on that particular topic.

Give them time to get the kind of person you are, but even then, I would suggest giving the relationship time and strong foundations before you come up with a subject that can potentially scare men away.
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Duh, I NEVER talk about the relationship suicide topics. I'm not stupid. Those come up later...when there is a steady relationship.

1. Marriage
2. Past boyfriends/relationships
3. Politics
4. Having kids
5. Raising kids
6. Buying a house together
7. Being exclusive
8. Weddings

All big no-nos. I wasn't born yesterday. I usually don't even make plans past a few days in the future until there is some kind of exclusive thing. If they want to make plans for a week in advance, that's as far future as I'll go. And as I said in a past thread, I don't call much unless it's to return a call or find out what the plan is.
 
#119
disenchant said:
Duh, I NEVER talk about the relationship suicide topics. I'm not stupid. Those come up later...when there is a steady relationship.

1. Marriage
2. Past boyfriends/relationships
3. Politics
4. Having kids
5. Raising kids
6. Buying a house together
7. Being exclusive
8. Weddings

All big no-nos. I wasn't born yesterday. I usually don't even make plans past a few days in the future until there is some kind of exclusive thing. If they want to make plans for a week in advance, that's as far future as I'll go. And as I said in a past thread, I don't call much unless it's to return a call or find out what the plan is.
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I thought you said the guy broke up with you after two weeks because you tried to speak to him about marriage?
 

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