The only thing permanent is change itself.
(Well, except for tort pickguards of course.)
Last edited:
Enjoy the benefits of a premium membership!
Upgrade Account
-
TalkBass has been independent since 1998. Add your voice.
Create a free account to reply to discussions, view embedded media, and browse with fewer display ads.
Join free Log in
Want zero display ads or expanded classifieds tools? Compare plans.
Is there no greener grass?
- Thread starter socialleper
- Start date
The only thing permanent is change itself.
(Well, except for tort pickguards of course.)
I’ve been in the same band for about 17 years when we got to around the ten year mark it was time for a break and I went off and played in two other bands for about a year. The experience actually made me appreciate my long running band a lot more. So I left those two bands and got the old band gigging and writing again. With my band I don’t have to deal with the Guitar players that talk down to bass players or anyone trying to tell me what I should play, Barely being able to hear bass in an recording mix, or any of the typical problems I often hear about with bass players in rock and metal bands.
I’m in a band, and it’s a really good product. BUT in the 18 months I’ve been in it, we have gone through 3 drummers, we’re on our 4th keyboardist, two guitarists, and 4 singers. The sax player, the trumpeter (band leader who has been running this program for over 40 years) and myself are the only unchanged members. It’s been an endless revolving door of personnel and practices to get the newbies up to scratch. To further complicate matters, it’s an 8 piece band and gigs for that are few and far between. What is amazing is the people involved are solid profession types with tons of experience, and basically decent people. With the exception of one female singer we lost that was a one of a kind natural, every replacement has been a significant upgrade. The deal is, I’ve gone through a lot of work and too few gigs, like maybe 12.
Anyway, I found a pup band, with fewer musicians nowhere near as accomplished, that is gigging 4 times a month for passable money. They have a niche, and I’m really comfortable with the material, pretty much what I grew up listening to. I played my first couple of gigs with them this past weekend and had a blast. I haven’t pulled the trigger on Band one yet, but depending on how the gigs come in, I’m ready to make a move.
Understood, working on your own isn't going to change the band situation. What it can do, though, is provide you that outlet (even if it isn't the fun stuff necessarily). Also it is taking control of your own progress back from your bandmates.
I used to get discouraged if practices started getting cancelled too frequently or too many dates were unavailable for booking (to my tastes). I made it a point to take as much control back starting with band songs that maybe needed some tweaking on my part (no use getting flustered with others commitment when I have stuff on my own plate). Then I made a list of a bunch of songs and/or styles I wanted to work on or know. Much of that isn't going to come up in the current band but may still prove useful in the future. Yeah, working on sight reading isn't necessarily fun, but it's a hole in my game that I can work on if I have extra music time. I would think with writing there would all sorts productive activities that could soak up some of that former practice time.
Day job story/history: It was very easy to lure me away, just convince me I was unloved and abused, while offering some $$$ and I would jump ship. Usually I ended up in good situations, but not always. There are many sayings about the grass is greener.
Band wise, I have almost always been very pleased with where I was. The only exception was a crooked BL. The Guit and I left and aced him out of his good gigs, and even took a few of his crumbs away for the fun of it.
Band wise, I have almost always been very pleased with where I was. The only exception was a crooked BL. The Guit and I left and aced him out of his good gigs, and even took a few of his crumbs away for the fun of it.
Call me a pessimist but when i retired i thought, great now i can find a band and play out once in a while. However, there is no grass. At a certain age the tolerance and energy available for meeting and nurturing new relationships is gone. Sorry but i and a few friends too, have just given up. I just dont see it ever happening, and i have done a few auditions but overall hated everything but while we were playing the songs.
Being a hobby musician, I can only speak of the situation in a 9-5 career context. If you leave your job, you’d better be running TO something that you actually want instead of LEAVING something you don’t want. If you decide to leave something you don’t want as your primary motivation, you’re probably not looking to something you really do want, and you’re going to land in another subpar position.
Last edited:
the grass over my septic tank kept dying. The grass was great over the drain field. But, the AHJ along with the usepa, said no more septic tanks, and you have to tie in to a costly sewer system. So no more green grass,
Just a thought, have you ever noticed in the movies, toxic waste is usually green?
In my experience as a retired pro: There is plenty of grass, it's just scraggly, brown, and weed infested. To further the metaphor: The grass provides little nourishment and has a bitter taste. To make matters worse, the environment is littered with an emotional mine field that can be painful to navigate. I am right there with you, it would be highly unlikely for me to find a musical opportunity in which the benefits would exceed the cost, but that is partially because my needs and motivations have changed.
IMHO: On average, professional musicians are more likely to be frustrated than satisfied. Unfortunately musicians' needs and expectations are often totally unrealistic. Many spend years honing their craft only to be stuck playing music that is unchallenging and lacks creativity. To a musician, applause is like a drug, but it is wise to recognize this for the emotional trap it is. Unfortunately those who derive the joy of performance primarily from applause will find it to be a fickle mistress: Finding a good and reliable prescription for applause is difficult, and we become immune to the effect if we get too much. If we allow applause to function like an addiction, what we do when immunity sets in can involve self-destructive and anti-social behavior.
The people who tend to be most fulfilled are the hobbyist who get off on jam sessions with friends, or players who gain a sense of personal accomplishment from continuously expanding their craft. IMHO, If you are not motivated by the simple joy of playing with friends or driven to musical self actualization, you are likely to wind up totally disillusioned. YMMV
You don't have to quit or anything. Go find a side project or two, keep growing as a musician, explore and create. It'll only make you more valuable when the other guys come back around and want to play...believe me they will and you'll be glad that you didn't sit around waiting for them. And if they don't it'll be easier for you to move on and that's what really matters.
I worked 20 years in the fertilizer industry, so we were taught how to make the grass green, beam me up. Then there's the NFL way, paint the grass green.
Last edited:
Yep...I think her title was the last nine words, there. My point was the first four.
Lots of examples....
Yes... Erma Bombeck was a great columnist and writer.
You know I said that once, then I got married, and I’ve never been happier.
FWIW... I think the grass is greener where you water it.
- Oct 18, 2012
- 6,683
- 5,538
- Disclosures
- Endorsing Artist: Fender, Spector, Ampeg, Curt Mangan, Nordstrand Pickups, Korg , Conquest Sound
THIS. A bunch of people I gave a shot and hired at my company all have quit because they think the grass is greener. I just chuckle as they leave, because they will find out.
But with bands I definetely have not had ANY luck finding a good one. either serious volume issues, poor song choice and lack of gigs.
From my experience I think there is a sweet spot or ideal time with new bands. You get the band going, you are learning new songs and everyone is enthusiastic about it all and happy with the way it is going. Within that time is when the band needs to consolidate, make progress, get gigs , record, whatever it is you want to do. If you miss that period then things start going not so well and members enthusiasm starts to wane and maybe that is the time that the grass starts to look greener.
During that good period is when the members need to get behind it and help drive the band forward. If some are less keen or lazy or too busy with other things then it affects the band mojo and future. The attitude and enthusiasm of members is critical to the bands ongoing success and I am not talking about money but the band vibe in general.
During that good period is when the members need to get behind it and help drive the band forward. If some are less keen or lazy or too busy with other things then it affects the band mojo and future. The attitude and enthusiasm of members is critical to the bands ongoing success and I am not talking about money but the band vibe in general.
The grass is never really greener....just different. For me, it's always been about stating what you want to do (short and long-term) and perform with like-minded people. It's worked for me for the past 18 years, and we've got bookings thru November this year!
