Let's spread some musical misinformation

[PillO]

In an emergency an acoustic guitar can double as a Jackhammer.

Only if played loud enough.

 

[ZenG]

Sound does not travel in a vacuum.

Sound travel speed and quality is completely dependent on it's surrounding medium.

The best medium for music and bass is Argon gas mixed 50/50 with Helium.

The best gig you'll ever perform is in a completely sealed venue where the air has been pumped out and replaced with the above mixture.

(You'll also need the venue to be at exact sea-level to get the most out of the atmospheric p.s.i.)

 

[JackANSI]

Thick cable is exactly what's inside cheap delay pedals. The delay time depends on length, gauge and the number of knots.

I forgot about the knots. Very important you don't let the thin wire knot up... that's almost as bad as using thick wire.

Reminds me of a trick you can play on singers and guitarists... Step on their cords. When they go over to their amp/whatever to figure out why there isn't any sound, you lift your foot up and they get an earful of feedback.


Also you can eliminate hum and buzz by coiling your cords and wires counter-clockwise in the northern hemisphere and clockwise in the southern hemisphere then dipping them in boiling water to "set" the polarity correctly (has to do with the earth's magnetic field being "backwards" down south). Always remember to buy cables correct for the hemisphere you're playing your gig in (or reboil your existing cables after coiling them the right way).

 

[pklima]

De La Soul wisely turned down an offer of $200000 from Campbell's to rename themselves De La Soup.

 

[Plutonium244]

I have shipped a few basses recently, and wanted to set the record straight on how to ship them. Experts in musicial instrument shipping have told me that it's best to tune the strings up an additional fourth for most shipping, and up a fifth for international air shipments. To make it easy to remember, your bass should be tuned ADGC when boxed up and ready to ship out for domestic shipment. This will ensure that when the stings slacken due to vibrations in the vehicle or rough package handling, you will still have plenty of tension to keep the neck from developing a back bow.

 

[GBassNorth]

While we're on the topic of shipping your guitars and basses - remember, it's critical to protect the instrument by double boxing it. Properly done you will need one box for the body and one for the neck, like this...

 

[NortyFiner]

If you say Lemmy's name five times into a bar restroom mirror at midnight, you'll wake up in jail the next morning with your ears ringing and a pounding hangover and no idea where you were last night, which means it must have been a good gig.

 

[PillO]

If you say Lemmy's name five times into a bar restroom mirror at midnight, you'll wake up in jail the next morning half-deaf with a pounding hangover and no idea where you were last night, which means it must have been a good gig.

That happens without invoking Lemmy's spirit...

 

[Feral Feline]

Yeah. Get back to the misinformation already...


If you're building pedals and need PNP transistors (positive ground) but only have NPN (negative ground), simply reverse the NPN and you'll be good to go.

The opposite is also true.

 

[Jay2U]

The repetitive ,1-5 bass pattern in country songs serve a deeper purpose. The 1-5, especially in the key of A, resonates with the uncommonly large belt buckles found in crowds that follow such music. The sympathetic vibrations activating the chakra that controls sex drive. Of course alcohol multiples the effect. So it turns out, goober music fans don't really think the music is any good, but they are compelled to listen, driven unconsciously by their adrenal-limbic system in a feedback loop that frequently leads to sex they later regret.

How on earth can this be misinformation?

 

[My name is Mudd]

Also you can eliminate hum and buzz by coiling your cords and wires counter-clockwise in the northern hemisphere and clockwise in the southern hemisphere then dipping them in boiling water to "set" the polarity correctly (has to do with the earth's magnetic field being "backwards" down south). Always remember to buy cables correct for the hemisphere you're playing your gig in (or reboil your existing cables after coiling them the right way).

What if you use coily cables to begin with?

 

[Jay2U]

Dusty Hill understands how to efficiently mute unused strings.

 

[ZenG]

Many people want to know how to get a "standup" tone out of their electric bass.

But many upright bass players want to know how to get an "electric" tone out of their standup.

It's pretty simple.

First off replace the strings with thin gauge aircraft wire. Then install eight P-bass pickups and eight Jazz pickups in staggered groups of two allowing for the wider string spacing.

Seymour Duncan or Nordstrands will be the pups you want.

Don't forget two series /parallel switches.

Install a Hipshot bridge and lower the string height to 3 millimeters.

Use a pick, not fingers.

Install a cheap Karaoke microphone inside the bass that runs to it's own mixer and set the knobs for 100% treble. Run the mic and pickups from the bass into the second mixer and then to the amp.

This will give you more "twang" and you'll be glad of it when slapping your newly modified standup bass.

Diehards will want to cover the entire front of their doublebass with Tort.

If you are using the bass for metal you'll need a 4 x 18 cab.

 

[ZenG]

It's the same old dilemma...you are the bassist and also the vocalist in your band.

Its' not easy being both and often you forget the lyrics right in the middle of a song.

Just do what the pros do....stop playing, point towards the crowd and then put your hands over your head and start clapping.

The audience will immediately start singing in unison and fill in the lyrics for you.

Works every time.

 

[Imaginary Pony]

It's the same old dilemma...you are the bassist and also the vocalist in your band.

Its' not easy being both and often you forget the lyrics right in the middle of a song.

Just do what the pros do....stop playing, point towards the crowd and then put your hands over your head and start clapping.

The audience will immediately start singing in unison and fill in the lyrics for you.

Works every time.

Wrong thread. This should be in " general techniques "

 

[zontar]

Roger Glover played all the instruments on Deep Purple's Made in Japan...

 

[ak56]

Dusty Hill understands how to efficiently mute unused strings.

Dusty Hill is actually Benny Hill in disguise.

 

[zontar]

Paul Gilbert wears those headphones so a voice offstage can tell him what to play next.

 

[ZenG]

Dusty Hill is actually Benny Hill in disguise.
View attachment 937265

It was Benny Hill who taught Jimi Hendrix how to play guitar.

 

[ZenG]

Big airports are the new place to make gig money.

Have your band members ready to set up gear quickly and look around for the longest ticket line in the place.

Even better is finding the line-up for customs and baggage check. These will often have about 200 people who will be forced to stand there for about an hour and a half or more.

They'll love the opportunity to groove and have fun and are generous when the hat is passed around.

If you do this in Canada , thirty percent of your songs need to be Canadian in origin and you will be obligated to fill out a two-page form because in Canada you are legally required to fill out a two-page form under the Canadian Two-Page Form Act.