Let's spread some musical misinformation

[felonious69]

Double bass players use a bra as a COVID mask. It gets too sweaty or snotty, they just switch sides.

Dolly Parton played the bass...in the key of DDDD#.
She quit cuz she kept falling over

 

[felonious69]

This post gave me positive felines.

Felines?!?!?!? Nothing more than Felines?!?!?!?

 

[felonious69]

Brian May's Tone has nothing to do with the month with the same name!

Every leap year, in the month of February, on that rarest of days that springs forth every fourth annual, Brian May is to be found at Stonehenge where his Druids prepare the rocket scientist for transcendent spacial explorations in the almighty quest for summoning his legendary tone.

Nymphs are summoned from far and wide to dance around the May Pole, and this semi-frequent act of frequency fertility is the real source of the guitarist's power — not a Red Special, nor a Vox AC30... though a Deacy is somewhat involved.

Yet some say it's just the added protein.

 

[felonious69]

I hear the Queen is a Queen fan and regularly has Brian May on her roof to play guitar and use the telescope (better hair than that xylophone bloke). Roger Taylor's only any good for gardening and Prince Philip can't stand John Deacon.

I think Phillip like 'em a bit younger than Deacon

 

[felonious69]

Guitarists always seek advice from the bassist on how long guitar solos should last.

Every bass solo EVER was requested by a girl

 

[felonious69]

The ONLY proper way to tune a snare drum:

 

[felonious69]

Although she originally sang for The Carpenters, Wendy O Williams had to be replaced for being "hammered" onstage

 

[felonious69]

A Kazoo is a gateway instrument...do you really want to go down that road?

Yup...You start off with an innocent lil dose of kazoo ("just one song"), next thing you know, Pan Flute.
Then later, you're putting a bowl full of Raisin Bran on your Zamfir album cover, shaking it gently back and forth (Sometimes using a library card) so that the raisins roll down to the crease so you can get rid of them, cuz you don't like raisins.
I've seen it happen to the best of them!
Just say "No, thank you". to Kazoo!

 

[felonious69]

This is no misinformation, sir.

Actually now that we're all here, I think the next page will be 666...forever

 

[felonious69]

It Lyfts and separates! (I wonder if anybody is old enough to get that one?!)

Got it, brah!

 

[felonious69]

Just sold my Yellow Cab because it looked awful under my Orange amp.

You can't believe anything an Orange amp has to play. It's all falsetto

 

[felonious69]

Sara Lee actually played bass for Rush for two years while Geddy was taking a break. This was actually the reason he had long hair - so he would have a sub ready to go at any time (gotta read ALL the threads here, kids).

I also heard that it was gonna be longer but Sara Lee had to step aside because of a bad yeast infection.

 

[felonious69]

Years before Sheldon Cooper was saying "bazinga!", there was this other guy who would say "zappagotcha!" -- this is how Francis Zappadoloccia became known as Frank Zappa.

Look here brotha, who you jivin' with that cozmik debris?

 

[felonious69]

Years before Sheldon Cooper was saying "bazinga!", there was this other guy who would say "zappagotcha!" -- this is how Francis Zappadoloccia became known as Frank Zappa.

The first time he actually used "zappagotcha" was when Dora was buns-up-kneelin'

 

[felonious69]

Yes and they're opening up a chocolate factory too.

It's being partially funded by Willy "Wonka" Nelson

 

[felonious69]

Most bassists who practice transcendental meditation find themselves chanting "ohm" instead of "om" while meditating. This unfortunately causes the brain to resist the beneficial effects of meditation.

You just have to make sure to match the impedance to your level of troubles.
Girl got ya down? 4 Ohms
Feeling like eating people? 32 Ohms...al least!
Unless of course you're in a parallel universe, then the math escapes me

 

[felonious69]

Cindy Lauper never actually Just wanted to have fun

And Madonna's "Like a Virgin" was actually "Like the first twenty times that day"

 

[felonious69]

Irish amps and cabs use Murphy's Ohm's Law

 

[NZBassman]

Murphys law states if you drop a piece of toast it will always land butter side down
thus it is important to butter the back of your bass - so if you do accidentally drop it, it will land on the back (buttered side) and not on the front where it could damage the strings / tuning knobs...etc...

 

[felonious69]

Murphys law states if you drop a piece of toast it will always land butter side down
thus it is important to butter the back of your bass - so if you do accidentally drop it, it will land on the back (buttered side) and not on the front where it could damage the strings / tuning knobs...etc...

I like to cut off the crust too, but be careful of the binding (if any)