Come on man! We should invite the local news station, make sure she has two forms of government ID, and have two undercover cops within a 1 mile radius at all times. Go big or go home!!
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Making Female Singer Feel Safer
- Thread starter KevInDaBassment
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Come on man! We should invite the local news station, make sure she has two forms of government ID, and have two undercover cops within a 1 mile radius at all times. Go big or go home!!
I believe it’s Today’s Social Climate that makes us want to be assured of safety. In another time it wouldn’t be an issue. (Not in all cases). IK. Band environment wise. Men have been treating woman badly for well since ancient times. Bad Men have been treating other men badly since ancient of days. I wonder if Carol Kaye ever felt nervous in her day?Very fair point, I heard that from some other users as well. I would like to think that if something did go down at a club or bar, she would know we all "have her back" if things get dicey, and that she'd have ours too. I'm just trying to be conscientious as being outnumbered in an unsure situation can be intimidating for anyone. It is reassuring to hear others didn't really have a problem with this scenario...but we're all bassists and dealing with guitarists has made us a rather resilient bunch
Thanks for your advice!!
In my day songs were about love and hearts desires. In the last decades the disrespect in some lyrics are way way overboard. It breeds contempt and influences young people to accept it as being cool.
Don’t forget all the electronic surveillance. You guys will be ready for the big day!!.... and then no one shows for the audition!!Come on man! We should invite the local news station, make sure she has two forms of government ID, and have two undercover cops within a 1 mile radius at all times. Go big or go home!!
I don't remember if it was her or Nancy Wilson, but a guy came up to her and said "Hey you play pretty well bass for a woman!" and she said "Thanks! You play guitar pretty well for a man!"
I don't remember if it was her or Nancy Wilson, but a guy came up to her and said "Hey you play pretty well bass for a woman!" and she said "Thanks! You play guitar pretty well for a man!"
That was Carol Kaye, you ever hear her play guitar? She can play some mean bebop licks
Plucky I also think this was a very good thread and you got some really good answers. I would side with the women who took the time to answer you.
I'll add that getting creepy guys coming up to me in bars while I'm playing there (which happens more times than I care to count) is a lot different than meeting strangers for an audition. In the bar, I have my band members to back me up. At the audition, all I have is me. Because of the dangers women face in our world, I have equipped myself with a few self defense options, which offer some comfort. I'll add too, that even though I've felt uncomfortable in the past in an audition situation, it didn't stop me from going, or getting the gig. It's just there, as part of what some women face in life.
Regarding the "all men" thing, and statistics, I stand by my words. Again, sorry if I offended people, but it's how I feel. One can juggle the logic any way you want. There's still the much higher chance that I'll be hassled than any of the men here.
Also, I'll add that it's nice the thread was not closed. Lots of interesting perspectives.
Regarding the "all men" thing, and statistics, I stand by my words. Again, sorry if I offended people, but it's how I feel. One can juggle the logic any way you want. There's still the much higher chance that I'll be hassled than any of the men here.
Also, I'll add that it's nice the thread was not closed. Lots of interesting perspectives.
That's undeniably correct. And it sickens most of us.
That's too bad. I'm really sorry you've come to believe what you said earlier.
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I didn’t bother to read beyond the first post. Yes, but consider yourselves just as much targets of false accusations.
I'm glad this thread has gone this far. We need to discuss this topic openly and from a variety of perspectives.
Good on y'all for keeping it going and being respectful and disagreeable at the same time.
Good on y'all for keeping it going and being respectful and disagreeable at the same time.
When my band's female vocalist set up her audition with us, she asked to bring a friend. We were more than happy to oblige. I didn't bring it up, but I was not the least bit surprised by her request.
She didn't bring anyone the next rehearsal, so I imagine she deemed us as no threat. We even joked about it a bit the second rehearsal. We treat her like one of the guys. No different.
My advice to the OP, as others have stated is, don't get too caught up in it. I don't think renting a public space is nessessary. Conduct your business as usual. If she's that worried about it, she'll request to bring someone. If you are placing an ad, and she answers it, she has an idea of what she's getting into.
She didn't bring anyone the next rehearsal, so I imagine she deemed us as no threat. We even joked about it a bit the second rehearsal. We treat her like one of the guys. No different.
My advice to the OP, as others have stated is, don't get too caught up in it. I don't think renting a public space is nessessary. Conduct your business as usual. If she's that worried about it, she'll request to bring someone. If you are placing an ad, and she answers it, she has an idea of what she's getting into.
For those of you who are coming back with “Why should a woman worry?” or “Maybe a man should worry about a woman’s claims, too,” … look, I ain’t gonna quote the whole thing but there’s a story floating around Facebook this week about social researcher Jackson Katz, who in public appearances will ask men in the audience what they do on a daily basis to prevent being sexually assaulted. A deafening silence tend to ensue — seriously, guys, this is a thing we never have to think about. Then he asks the same question of the women in the audience. Their answers are long, varied, and quite educational.
Instead of popping off with some blithe or smug answer to the OP, maybe stop and think about it.
Instead of popping off with some blithe or smug answer to the OP, maybe stop and think about it.
Start digging the well in the basement ahead of time. The first 6ft is easy but the next 4ft are hell.
Link doesn't seem to be working, but thank you for what you divulged in your post. Whether we want to argue numbers or not, it's obviously a concern for a large number of women and it seems other people feel it's worth being aware of too. Who knew voluntary politeness could inspire such rage from some folks on here
If anybody thinks men aren’t sexually assaulted because they don’t verbally jump up and identify themselves, I guess the same goes for women who don’t say anything when it happens to them? What kind of reasoning is that?! You think men aren’t sexually assaulted? Sure, it may be because most of the assaults come from members of their own sex, but come on, they didn’t jump up in an audience so none of them were assaulted? What nonsense!
I was worried I might come off sounding a bit confrontational with that question, but I had to ask. My apologies. I think it's great that you ask the question to others in your community--online and in a physical reality. You don't know until you know. I would add that different women will have different perspectives. I started playing in bands when I was very young, so I am very used to being around a lot of male musicians.
To answer your question... First let me quote PCake (a couple other posters said something similar to her) "i would have felt weirded out if someone told me i could bring someone or told me anything for my "comfort." If renting a rehearsal space for an hour or 2 is not an option for you guys, it really isn't out of the ordinary for all of you to meet at a coffee shop with the singer to discuss band stuff. There you can make a decision about an audition date/time. You can let her know that you all rehearse at the drummer's place. If you guys perform in public, invite her to a show. There she can check the band out, meet with you and you all can discuss afterward about the band and your long term goals.
A band that I played with in the mid 90's, consisting of me & 2 guys who I am still super good friends with, had me see them live first. We met afterward in the club and talked for a while. We talked about what music we like, what our goals were, how much time they expected each one of us to invest in the band, how much rehearsal space cost, etc. There we decided on a time for an audition. That initial meeting was beneficial. I got a sense of who they were and they of me. We used to ride together to rehearsals 4 nights a week crammed in the singer's little Toyata pickup. lol! Different times.
I think meeting beforehand with a musician you hope to audition is crucial. I don't know why I haven't done that all the time. I've wasted time auditioning people who didn't have their chops together or just weren't on the same page as the rest of the band or who just didn't click with all of you. Maybe you already know this, if not, I can't tell you how awful it is to have to be around someone you realize you can't stand for several hours for a rehearsal, at a show for an entire evening/night or worse on the road for several weeks.
Anyway, I hope that helps. Don't worry too much about the safety thing. A woman will know what's safe for herself. Also, if she is of the timid type, maybe you don't want that type of a singer to front your band? Just a thought.
Good luck in your search! I think it's really difficult to find the right musicians. And good singers who have that voice you want aren't a dime a dozen.
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