this might be long....I'll try to make it as short as possible. I joined a local band that was not very good with one of my neighbors who's an experienced solid guitarist. We were mostly in our 50's and had clashes with song choices so my neighbor quit. I suspected we would never find a decent guitarist but they stumbled upon a local guy who has never played out and is in his 50's, he's really an impressive player but in the band he was maybe a little bit too controlling and wanting to pick the songs and axing songs we'd been doing for a long time...I recoiled initially and kind of butted heads with him and ultimately I left because I didn't feel we were musically compatible. I told the guitarist if he left I would like to get something going wth him. He's the type of guy who learns solos and plays them with passion, plays the correct notes, has great rhythm and fabulous tone.
Anyhoo he eventually left that band and starts band #2 with a diff bass player who eventually left...so he calls me, we happened upon an incredible vocalist, a great keyboard player who sings well, and a really solid drummer. In this band he was really the BL along w/ singer who is a big talent so I just kind of learn the parts, there aren't really many songs I don't like but over time i started to feel some resentment on just a couple of the guys picking all of the songs and most of us are never asked and we don't get a vote. IMO song selection determines the direction your band will take so this is no small deal.
MEANWHILE
I was unemployed and joined another band to make more $...they needed a guitar as well so i had them try out our guitar and they loved him. This band has a really good bunch of players, the BL is the drummer who has been gigging for 30 years and very experienced. As time has gone by, our guitarist has began fighting for what I perceive to be control over songs we're going to play, and this is a trend I have now seen in 3 bands. He is relatively inexperienced but wants to control the direction of the band?! Our BL is a really good drummer, he pays for the rehearsal space and books the gigs. Anyway our guitarist also freaked out and gets very upset when he's trying to talk in practice (which is a lot) and someone is playing their instrument...the other night he shushed me, I was pissed. I've been playing for 30 years and have never in my life been shushed by a bandmate. I wasn't playing loud enough to affect anything. IMO he has control issues and can't seem to stop it. He also sent out an email that if we don't change our name at our next gig he would not play another gig with the "old" name. He's a dream guitar player but I think our drummer is more important to the band and the drummer and keys have had enough of the guy...and now...I considered him a friend but don't think I can handle any more of the controlling behavior. Keep in mind the guitarist does care about the quality of the band and wants it to be great, but the chip on the shoulder thing is wearing thin. Our drummer told me that guitarist is acting childish and if he continues he will get a reputation and people will not want to play with him after a while.
Anyway I guess I'm wondering if any of you have been through this and if I'm being too intolerant of this guys.
