Quitting / Firing via Text Message Acceptable Now?

[GretschWretch]

If you've got backbone, you do it face-to-face, especially if you are firing someone. At worst, by phone.

If you are an invertebrate, I suppose tweet or text is the way to go.

 

[Dr. Keebs]

If you’re asking, then it may or may not be. The biggest aspect of this debate is generational. There are many band personnel decisions done by text where the members don’t pose this question on music forums. That, to me, would mean they most likely think it’s acceptable.

 

[getrhythm]

Yes, it's acceptable now.
What difference does it make?
Either way (quitting or getting fired by phone or by text) you're done with these folks. Who cares what they think.
My $.02

 

[GIBrat51]

I'm an old man.

I remember when Rush's Moving Pictures was their "new" record. I remember waiting to make phone calls in the evening becasue "the rates went down."

So... I've always assumed quitting the band, and/or firing members is something that should ALWAYS be done face-to-face: schedule a meeting for beers and drop the news, or drop the news at the beginning of a rehearsal.

But now that we all carry nano-super-computers on our pockets, etc... I've QUIT one band via SMS, and also had members give notice and quit via SMS.

Is this acceptable now?

I think quitting is probabaly a little more acceptable than firing via text-message?

I'm sort of an old man now, too (70), and... in the world Old Guys grew up in? No, this kind of crap wasn't acceptable. Just like "Dear John" letters weren't looked on with much favor, either. But, I guess we just have to accept the fact that... this ain't our world any longer. Other than a long Dirt Nap, our only choice is to put up with the rudeness, tackiness, and ill-bred behavior as best we can...

 

[legalbass]

I'll just say this: texting provides something that in-person or even phone conversation does not, inasmuch as it permits you to say your full piece without being interrupted or shouted down.

YMMV.

 

[Davebass77]

I was fired by text message. I have been a hired gun for a long time, but join bands every once in a while if it looks promising. This latest project was an 80's rock band. Fun music. We were doing alright, a few shows, but the drummer had to quit the band due to family issues. Rather than find a new drummer, the guitarist and keyboardist (yes, and I) decided to go forward playing to drum tracks on computer at our next shows. We sounded very close to the original songs and it worked, but the excitement wasn't there for me. I said as much to the guitarist and got a text the next week from the KB player. "My services were no longer needed. We've decided to move on as a two-piece." Excuse me!?! I sing 80% of the songs! The tone of the text started out as a business letter, but quickly degenerated into the KB's hissy fit. Friends have reported they're not doing well as a 2 piece now with canned drums, bass and background vocal tracks needed as well. They tend to lose their place. Karma! I agree with a lot of you, texting about important things (firings, et al) is a real douch-ey move on their part, but this has opened up a new opportunity for joining a new (better) band. Good riddance.

 

[Altitude]

It really just seems to show that it is becoming acceptable to some people, otherwise everyone would agree with you. That percentage is probably growing as we get more accustomed to texting in our society. But there will always be people who just want things the way they've always been.

I was talking with someone about this the other day. He was going off about how self-checkout steals jobs and he'll never use it. I reminded him that 40 years ago people were making those same complaints about the automated teller machines, but nowadays I don't see a single person refusing to use the ATM if they need cash. Whether we like it or not, change happens.

You could at least make the argument that self-checkout is a win for everyone involved except the unskilled person who used to get paid a union wage to do the job.

Taking it to a silly (I hope) exaggeration - we may get to a point where people begin to feel that breaking into homes and stealing property is “culturally acceptable” because haves and have-nots or whatever. It’s still an act with objective winners and losers, and in the case of my silly example also laws are being broken. So perception isn’t all that matters.

Coming back to earth, I’d say that the only relationships business or personal it’s acceptable to end with a text message or email would be the ones that began that way.

 

[Kipp Harrington]

That's how I got the boot. Doesn't necessarily means that's the way to go about it. I view it as cowardly and convenient of/for the person doing the "firing" . In fact, I got booted on a Saturday (via text) and we rehearsed the previous night with no mentioning at all of my departure. Kinda tasteless as far as I'm concerned.

 

[3Liter]

I.
I think quitting over Text is okay, Not firing, Firing needs explaining or a discussion. at least some constructive criticism. Quitting is more of "im done"And usually needs no explaination!

Interesting you mention constructive criticism. So many folks here say folks don't change. I wonder how often this is done.

 

[CoffeeLove]

I'm an old man.

I remember when Rush's Moving Pictures was their "new" record. I remember waiting to make phone calls in the evening becasue "the rates went down."

So... I've always assumed quitting the band, and/or firing members is something that should ALWAYS be done face-to-face: schedule a meeting for beers and drop the news, or drop the news at the beginning of a rehearsal.

But now that we all carry nano-super-computers on our pockets, etc... I've QUIT one band via SMS, and also had members give notice and quit via SMS.

Is this acceptable now?

I think quitting is probabaly a little more acceptable than firing via text-message?

Acceptable, NO, but common place. You find out just how important you are to a person, or how much they care about the band in this situation. Same when people DO NOT return text messages related to important band matters (scheduling gigs, etc...). Especially if texting is the "desired" method of communication by all band members. I don't play with people any more that can't communicate effectively, whether it be via text or in peron. At 50 years of age, I'm too busy to play/work with idiots.

 

[lermgalieu]

If you’re asking, then it may or may not be. The biggest aspect of this debate is generational. There are many band personnel decisions done by text where the members don’t pose this question on music forums. That, to me, would mean they most likely think it’s acceptable.

Not sure if it’s generational or not honestly. I mean, I’m 50, and text comms don’t bother me a bit. Especially when they use full sentences. Then again, I’m GenX and have been in tech related jobs for my adult life. I am part of a large group of people who basically created all this stuff. So I’m good with it. If someone is unable to clearly communicate via text, what makes them sure they are an effective F2F communicator? Maybe it just makes them feel better, but not necessarily anyone else.

 

[bass81800]

Not quite the same thing, but I was fired from a job by text, and even though it was the most awful job and I was glad to leave, it still remains as one of those life events that were just ugh with no real closure. I was even at the office by myself when I got the text. The owner was abusive and she had the nice assistant who worked with her do the dirty work. The nice person wanted to keep in contact after this, but let's just say the bridge was burnt beyond recognition as I never received any indication she was sorry for doing this. Just saying, consider the long term consequences of doing this by text.

 

[Dincrest]

As others have said, I prefer to do break-ups face to face... but when push comes to shove I'll take a text over being ghosted. Bad communication is better than no communication at all.

 

[LBS-bass]

Not sure if it’s generational or not honestly. I mean, I’m 50, and text comms don’t bother me a bit. Especially when they use full sentences. Then again, I’m GenX and have been in tech related jobs for my adult life. I am part of a large group of people who basically created all this stuff. So I’m good with it. If someone is unable to clearly communicate via text, what makes them sure they are an effective F2F communicator? Maybe it just makes them feel better, but not necessarily anyone else.

It's generational to a point. There are those who just don't like changing with technology. But then there are those who welcome convenience and aren't averse to change, like myself.

You have a good point about F2F communication not being particularly clear. Someone else brought up the point that it invites another episode of the very drama you're probably trying to get away from by making the needed change. And yet another brought up the point that often we're doing it to make ourselves feel better about what we're doing, because there's a lot of pressure to do things the old way. Comments about "backbone" and "cowardly" here demonstrate this well.

When we have to do a crappy thing we can at least pat ourselves on the back about how we "handled it well" even if we didn't. Even if it causes the other person to weep (as happened with our guitarist) or otherwise act out in an embarrassing manner.

But sure, feel good about yourself for putting that person in that position, if that's what floats your boat. I prefer to keep my business more businesslike, and inviting drama isn't part of that for me.

 

[lermgalieu]

It's generational to a point. There are those who just don't like changing with technology. But then there are those who welcome convenience and aren't averse to change, like myself.

You have a good point about F2F communication not being particularly clear. Someone else brought up the point that it invites another episode of the very drama you're probably trying to get away from by making the needed change. And yet another brought up the point that often we're doing it to make ourselves feel better about what we're doing, because there's a lot of pressure to do things the old way. Comments about "backbone" and "cowardly" here demonstrate this well.

When we have to do a crappy thing we can at least pat ourselves on the back about how we "handled it well" even if we didn't. Even if it causes the other person to weep (as happened with our guitarist) or otherwise act out in an embarrassing manner.

But sure, feel good about yourself for putting that person in that position, if that's what floats your boat. I prefer to keep my business more businesslike, and inviting drama isn't part of that for me.

Well said

 

[Ralph Manak]

Can we get Judith Martin (Miss Manners) to weigh in?

I think it’s worth noting that form is content. And I prefer not to contribute to the general malaise of empathy, which can be a challenge when personalities create friction.

 

[KenD]

I'm an old man.

I remember when Rush's Moving Pictures was their "new" record. I remember waiting to make phone calls in the evening becasue "the rates went down."

So... I've always assumed quitting the band, and/or firing members is something that should ALWAYS be done face-to-face: schedule a meeting for beers and drop the news, or drop the news at the beginning of a rehearsal.

But now that we all carry nano-super-computers on our pockets, etc... I've QUIT one band via SMS, and also had members give notice and quit via SMS.

Is this acceptable now?

I think quitting is probabaly a little more acceptable than firing via text-message?

IMO it's a chicken sh*t , small person way to do it in either direction.

 

[Goat of Ball St]

I don't really see a problem with it as long as your communicative and respectful much like you'd be in with face to face or a phone call. I'd prefer than say driving somewhere for an hour without knowing I was about to be fired.

 

[tminus10]

It's a cowards move to quit/fire via text. Plain and simple.

 

[Dr. Keebs]

Not sure if it’s generational or not honestly. I mean, I’m 50, and text comms don’t bother me a bit. Especially when they use full sentences. Then again, I’m GenX and have been in tech related jobs for my adult life. I am part of a large group of people who basically created all this stuff. So I’m good with it. If someone is unable to clearly communicate via text, what makes them sure they are an effective F2F communicator? Maybe it just makes them feel better, but not necessarily anyone else.

Absolutely. Text doesn’t bother me, either. Text/phone/email/social media/in person - say what you have to say and we’ll take it from there.