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Different goals, introversion, extroversion, lack of support. My folks both had one divorce each before they married each other. Seems to have made some difference.
No, but she would be. That's like buying a house near an airport, busy freeway or race track and then complaining about the noise after a few years.
buldog5151bass
Kibble, milkbones, and P Basses. And redheads.
Any of those reasons could be remedied in most cases if the people aired and discussed their grievances when they became an issue.
I used to wonder about my in laws because they are always talking, but seldom agreeing. There are intheir 80s, and are still in love.
My wife and I never go to bed angry. Some nights without enough sleep, but no problems festering over to resentment.
I used to wonder about my in laws because they are always talking, but seldom agreeing. There are intheir 80s, and are still in love.
My wife and I never go to bed angry. Some nights without enough sleep, but no problems festering over to resentment.
Sometimes people "think" they can deal with something on a regular basis, then find it is too much of a drag to put up with. E.g. Woman doesn't mind guy going 2 times a week for band, then they have kid, women resents having to do more and guy is still going to slappa d bass. I understand that.
But it is harder than ever for one person to afford a decent place and utilities - you end up eating cat/dog food 4 times a week. Housing eats up a bigger percentage of one's income than any time in the past.
Everybody should be changing constantly. People who don't change are usually angry,envious and resentful of people who DO change. Couple should talk about the changes they hope to make 1 week, month, year, decade and lifetime out. You are being changed by time - some people don't figure out how to do that gracefully and are real jackholes due to trying to look/act young.
aired and discussed their issues before they became a grievance(switched) - I think of it that way but I think we're 100% in agreement.
I hope and EXPECT my wife to disagree with or "counter" me 30-40% of the time - I can't have all the good ideas by myself and I love when she Jimney Cricket's me and says,"don't do that Mr.Ed.". . . you can have differing opinions without there being an argument. You may find that NEITHER of you is right if you step back from the issue.Arguing before bed - I have a rule of not discussing/arguing after midnight. By then I figure everyone is too tired to be rational and you are losing sleep which will just make the problem seem more ominous the next day, you'll be grumpy and then the pattern will be repeated the next evening but even worse. And no important discussion until everyone has at least put some small amount of calories in their system. Ain't got time for talking with a hangry person. Wife & I will ask each other,"did you eat anything? I'm not talking with you until you eat something." Low blood sugar makes you almost as irrational as high blood sugar, you know like when you're drunk.
I suggest everyone have revenge/grudge sex with an ex one time. Just because.
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According to the experts, the most common cause of divorce is money issues.
I personally think it's selfishness, boredom, and infidelity in that order. I also think a lot of folks doing it for these 3 reasons blame it on money issues because it's less personally revealing and easier to publically fight over money.
According to those experts the money issue is people being selfish with MONEY!!!! I have pondered a few folks complaints of their marriage woes (here and elsewhere) and struggled not to tell them, "but it appears you are a selfish ass with your mutual/team finances. A totally selfish ass.".
Wouldn't a selfish ass with money pretty much be rooted in a trust and/or control issue?
"I'm in charge of the money because you waste too much of it, and no, you can't have any new shoes."
What I see a lot of is guys who roll thus,"we make the same amount, so you just need to STFU about my $25k Harley. And I can't believe you bought another pair of $50 shoes for work." Way too many dudes roll it like they are in a Ward and June Cleaver world where they bring home all the bacon and "he with all the gold rules". And it persists - I see this in the relationships the 4 young women in our immediate family have had. Women don't want no scrubs - good ones don't need to accept them. I've been very frank with all the young ladies that they have more assets than their ass. Optimally they use that one for fun, not profit.
My ex and I got divorced after 10 years of marriage. (We knew each other for about 3 years before getting married.) To be fair we both had our issues....some "emotional baggage" was alive and well within both of us and had that been realized and dealt with beforehand I think there's a chance we could have made it.
I could go on and on about what happened but I'd rather not. We got divorced in '93, she remarried about a year later and we all get along very well.
I could go on and on about what happened but I'd rather not. We got divorced in '93, she remarried about a year later and we all get along very well.
