Dumb CL Ad's pt 5, Dumbester and Dumberest

[Imaginary Pony]

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This guitar is super clean

Thank goodness for that!

$450 cash.

I'd buy that if I could.

 

[xgator4u]

Your post looks oddly orphaned as I realized what you meant and deleted my response.

Kind of like a Craigs list advert.

 

[60bass]

Dunno if it qualifies as "dumb," but I felt this needed to be shared:
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"Jackson special edition Jenna Jameson KVX10 King V guitar. This guitar is super clean and in near-mint condition. Comes with a deluxe Jackson hard shell case that is easily worth $150. Will deliver anywhere in Berks, Lehigh, Chester or Montgomery counties for free. $450 cash"

No word about what actress is on the case, though.

Do a Google image search on the case picture might find out who it is.

 

[Yango]

This ad is currently running on the Burlington VT CL:


Bass player and drummer wanted for band (Burlington)

This is music with extreme twists and turns; unexpected changes --melody, pitch, key changes --dramatic evolutions of repeated patterns --a showcase for musicianship, something that demands attention naturally without trying. Breaks and unorthodox views and approaches toward the conventional rock format (bass, drums, guitar, vocals).
Musically drawing from Assyrian war chants, European gypsy music (django), American blues, jazz standards during the Gershwin period (you came a long way from saint Louis & strange fruit) (20s. 30s) + the sex blast of the 50s (Elvis' blues laden romps, Buddy Holly) and psychedelic rock from the (Doors, Zeppelin, Jimi) 60s; along with a dash of 90s grunge; the songs for example are dramatic reinventions -- 90s rock Nirvana-esque rhythm, a jazz chord & power chord progression, a 50s style melody, gypsy jazz licks, and blues phrasing & word choice + a castrato vocal range. The idea being that there is a unifying line/theme running through every song that all the musicians play around; not a steady beat that locks the groove, rather an inherent groove each musician can weave in and out of -- that is why talent is so important & the ability to tastefully improvise is paramount, since the key here lies in every member taking the lead in some way. Imagine no rhythm instruments; lead bass, lead drums, lead guitar, yet the rhythm is always there --guessed at, hinted at, heard. Like any song there is a chord and a word, but imagine if you will, a fluidity almost as if the tracks of each instrument were panning and coming into more focus & then fading out swallowed by another.
We're/I'm looking for young musicians with performance ability who want to travel, want to play everyday & maybe take a day off now & then. Musicians that will want to take acid & play 20 hours straight with me (we'll need uppers probably at hour 10), & are workaholics like myself. Driven, charismatic, individuals with nothing tying them down & nothing holding them back.
I want a drummer like Keith Moon, unorthodox style that can follow anything/create rhythms within rhythms, fall gently into rests & open the kit back up like an avalanche. I like drumming to sound big, whether it's slow & churning or fast & patchwork.
I want a bass player John Paul Jones someone that can play microtones. Maybe comfortable with a fretless that loves those warm tube sounds. Someone who can find the missing notes (those in between notes) in a rhythm & vocal melody & fill them in perfectly & complete the sound; follow a lead guitar to new key changes/temp changes/rhythm directions/ rhythm expansions, blend with the drumming to add flavor to the kick & yet provide a living breathing pulse of a tapestry, rich & harmonious when the drumming dies out. Someone who can play also an assortment of string instruments & pianos, like a jack of all trades for moments when we want to branch out & try new things.
There's going to be a lot of touring, a ton of rehearsing, and a lot of time spent in locations across the country.
The band name is Medulla, which is named after the pons and the logo is suggestive of damaged defective pons, which scientifically would prevent certain kinds of learning & conditioning. This is protest music, advocating individuality within, a different kind of community. A new culture of sharing & tribal independence. A brave culture that lacks rules & supplements it's own evolving anarchy with feeling: where everyone is happy suspended in their own trip. A pure democracy of equal participation Freedom within the tribe.

Peace and gods bless.

 

[Remyd]

Mind. Blown.

 

[xgator4u]

This ad is currently running on the Burlington VT CL:


Bass player and drummer wanted for band (Burlington)

This is music with extreme twists and turns; unexpected changes --melody, pitch, key changes --dramatic evolutions of repeated patterns --a showcase for musicianship, something that demands attention naturally without trying. Breaks and unorthodox views and approaches toward the conventional rock format (bass, drums, guitar, vocals).
Musically drawing from Assyrian war chants, European gypsy music (django), American blues, jazz standards during the Gershwin period (you came a long way from saint Louis & strange fruit) (20s. 30s) + the sex blast of the 50s (Elvis' blues laden romps, Buddy Holly) and psychedelic rock from the (Doors, Zeppelin, Jimi) 60s; along with a dash of 90s grunge; the songs for example are dramatic reinventions -- 90s rock Nirvana-esque rhythm, a jazz chord & power chord progression, a 50s style melody, gypsy jazz licks, and blues phrasing & word choice + a castrato vocal range. The idea being that there is a unifying line/theme running through every song that all the musicians play around; not a steady beat that locks the groove, rather an inherent groove each musician can weave in and out of -- that is why talent is so important & the ability to tastefully improvise is paramount, since the key here lies in every member taking the lead in some way. Imagine no rhythm instruments; lead bass, lead drums, lead guitar, yet the rhythm is always there --guessed at, hinted at, heard. Like any song there is a chord and a word, but imagine if you will, a fluidity almost as if the tracks of each instrument were panning and coming into more focus & then fading out swallowed by another.
We're/I'm looking for young musicians with performance ability who want to travel, want to play everyday & maybe take a day off now & then. Musicians that will want to take acid & play 20 hours straight with me (we'll need uppers probably at hour 10), & are workaholics like myself. Driven, charismatic, individuals with nothing tying them down & nothing holding them back.
I want a drummer like Keith Moon, unorthodox style that can follow anything/create rhythms within rhythms, fall gently into rests & open the kit back up like an avalanche. I like drumming to sound big, whether it's slow & churning or fast & patchwork.
I want a bass player John Paul Jones someone that can play microtones. Maybe comfortable with a fretless that loves those warm tube sounds. Someone who can find the missing notes (those in between notes) in a rhythm & vocal melody & fill them in perfectly & complete the sound; follow a lead guitar to new key changes/temp changes/rhythm directions/ rhythm expansions, blend with the drumming to add flavor to the kick & yet provide a living breathing pulse of a tapestry, rich & harmonious when the drumming dies out. Someone who can play also an assortment of string instruments & pianos, like a jack of all trades for moments when we want to branch out & try new things.
There's going to be a lot of touring, a ton of rehearsing, and a lot of time spent in locations across the country.
The band name is Medulla, which is named after the pons and the logo is suggestive of damaged defective pons, which scientifically would prevent certain kinds of learning & conditioning. This is protest music, advocating individuality within, a different kind of community. A new culture of sharing & tribal independence. A brave culture that lacks rules & supplements it's own evolving anarchy with feeling: where everyone is happy suspended in their own trip. A pure democracy of equal participation Freedom within the tribe.

Peace and gods bless.

I found the poster.

[Invalid or Expired Link Removed]

 

[Pentatonic]

This ad is currently running on the Burlington VT CL:


Bass player and drummer wanted for band (Burlington)

This is music with extreme twists and turns; unexpected changes --melody, pitch, key changes --dramatic evolutions of repeated patterns --a showcase for musicianship, something that demands attention naturally without trying. Breaks and unorthodox views and approaches toward the conventional rock format (bass, drums, guitar, vocals).
Musically drawing from Assyrian war chants, European gypsy music (django), American blues, jazz standards during the Gershwin period (you came a long way from saint Louis & strange fruit) (20s. 30s) + the sex blast of the 50s (Elvis' blues laden romps, Buddy Holly) and psychedelic rock from the (Doors, Zeppelin, Jimi) 60s; along with a dash of 90s grunge; the songs for example are dramatic reinventions -- 90s rock Nirvana-esque rhythm, a jazz chord & power chord progression, a 50s style melody, gypsy jazz licks, and blues phrasing & word choice + a castrato vocal range. The idea being that there is a unifying line/theme running through every song that all the musicians play around; not a steady beat that locks the groove, rather an inherent groove each musician can weave in and out of -- that is why talent is so important & the ability to tastefully improvise is paramount, since the key here lies in every member taking the lead in some way. Imagine no rhythm instruments; lead bass, lead drums, lead guitar, yet the rhythm is always there --guessed at, hinted at, heard. Like any song there is a chord and a word, but imagine if you will, a fluidity almost as if the tracks of each instrument were panning and coming into more focus & then fading out swallowed by another.
We're/I'm looking for young musicians with performance ability who want to travel, want to play everyday & maybe take a day off now & then. Musicians that will want to take acid & play 20 hours straight with me (we'll need uppers probably at hour 10), & are workaholics like myself. Driven, charismatic, individuals with nothing tying them down & nothing holding them back.
I want a drummer like Keith Moon, unorthodox style that can follow anything/create rhythms within rhythms, fall gently into rests & open the kit back up like an avalanche. I like drumming to sound big, whether it's slow & churning or fast & patchwork.
I want a bass player John Paul Jones someone that can play microtones. Maybe comfortable with a fretless that loves those warm tube sounds. Someone who can find the missing notes (those in between notes) in a rhythm & vocal melody & fill them in perfectly & complete the sound; follow a lead guitar to new key changes/temp changes/rhythm directions/ rhythm expansions, blend with the drumming to add flavor to the kick & yet provide a living breathing pulse of a tapestry, rich & harmonious when the drumming dies out. Someone who can play also an assortment of string instruments & pianos, like a jack of all trades for moments when we want to branch out & try new things.
There's going to be a lot of touring, a ton of rehearsing, and a lot of time spent in locations across the country.
The band name is Medulla, which is named after the pons and the logo is suggestive of damaged defective pons, which scientifically would prevent certain kinds of learning & conditioning. This is protest music, advocating individuality within, a different kind of community. A new culture of sharing & tribal independence. A brave culture that lacks rules & supplements it's own evolving anarchy with feeling: where everyone is happy suspended in their own trip. A pure democracy of equal participation Freedom within the tribe.

Peace and gods bless.

It already sounds completely unlistenable.

 

[TolerancEJ]

no ego on this guitard

http://victoria.craigslist.ca/msg/4687710225.html

I am the best guitarist in the Victoria area and beyond, and am offering lessons to select students. You will apply online here, and I will pick the most promising students. In return for the privilege of learning mind-blowing guitar skills from me, you will compensate me at the rate of $75 per hour.

In no time at all I will help you master such exotic modes as the Super Locrian, Double Harmonic, and the Neapolitan Minor, as well as a plethora of other skills and knowledge that will leave the competition reeling .

I will teach you how to humble professional guitarists to the point where they will end up selling their guitars and take up stamp-collecting instead. Soon you will be asked to replace existing guitarists in well-known professional bands. I guarantee this.

One of the funniest ads in a long time. If the guitarist is as hot as he claims, why isn't he signed to a major band instead of posting guitar teacher ads.

However, I will give him bonus points for using the word "Plethora" re: the El Guapo scene in Three Amigos!

 

[lobster57]

One of the funniest ads in a long time. If the guitarist is as hot as he claims, why isn't he signed to a major band instead of posting guitar teacher ads.

However, I will give him bonus points for using the word "Plethora" re: the El Guapo scene in Three Amigos!

he has updated his ad with his name and a shopped magazine cover.
http://victoria.craigslist.ca/msg/4702564729.html

 

[Desirsar]

I'd almost give the guy some credit if he were in the top Google results for "Mike Woolley", but no. He doesn't even have his own name on Soundcloud...

 

[Gaolee]

Of course you don't know about Mike Woolley. He's legendary, just like the Yeti or Loch Ness monster. You don't know much about them, either, right? I rest my case.

 

[Gaolee]

This ad is currently running on the Burlington VT CL:


Bass player and drummer wanted for band (Burlington)

This is music with extreme twists and turns; unexpected changes --melody, pitch, key changes --dramatic evolutions of repeated patterns --a showcase for musicianship, something that demands attention naturally without trying. Breaks and unorthodox views and approaches toward the conventional rock format (bass, drums, guitar, vocals).
Musically drawing from Assyrian war chants, European gypsy music (django), American blues, jazz standards during the Gershwin period (you came a long way from saint Louis & strange fruit) (20s. 30s) + the sex blast of the 50s (Elvis' blues laden romps, Buddy Holly) and psychedelic rock from the (Doors, Zeppelin, Jimi) 60s; along with a dash of 90s grunge; the songs for example are dramatic reinventions -- 90s rock Nirvana-esque rhythm, a jazz chord & power chord progression, a 50s style melody, gypsy jazz licks, and blues phrasing & word choice + a castrato vocal range. The idea being that there is a unifying line/theme running through every song that all the musicians play around; not a steady beat that locks the groove, rather an inherent groove each musician can weave in and out of -- that is why talent is so important & the ability to tastefully improvise is paramount, since the key here lies in every member taking the lead in some way. Imagine no rhythm instruments; lead bass, lead drums, lead guitar, yet the rhythm is always there --guessed at, hinted at, heard. Like any song there is a chord and a word, but imagine if you will, a fluidity almost as if the tracks of each instrument were panning and coming into more focus & then fading out swallowed by another.
We're/I'm looking for young musicians with performance ability who want to travel, want to play everyday & maybe take a day off now & then. Musicians that will want to take acid & play 20 hours straight with me (we'll need uppers probably at hour 10), & are workaholics like myself. Driven, charismatic, individuals with nothing tying them down & nothing holding them back.
I want a drummer like Keith Moon, unorthodox style that can follow anything/create rhythms within rhythms, fall gently into rests & open the kit back up like an avalanche. I like drumming to sound big, whether it's slow & churning or fast & patchwork.
I want a bass player John Paul Jones someone that can play microtones. Maybe comfortable with a fretless that loves those warm tube sounds. Someone who can find the missing notes (those in between notes) in a rhythm & vocal melody & fill them in perfectly & complete the sound; follow a lead guitar to new key changes/temp changes/rhythm directions/ rhythm expansions, blend with the drumming to add flavor to the kick & yet provide a living breathing pulse of a tapestry, rich & harmonious when the drumming dies out. Someone who can play also an assortment of string instruments & pianos, like a jack of all trades for moments when we want to branch out & try new things.
There's going to be a lot of touring, a ton of rehearsing, and a lot of time spent in locations across the country.
The band name is Medulla, which is named after the pons and the logo is suggestive of damaged defective pons, which scientifically would prevent certain kinds of learning & conditioning. This is protest music, advocating individuality within, a different kind of community. A new culture of sharing & tribal independence. A brave culture that lacks rules & supplements it's own evolving anarchy with feeling: where everyone is happy suspended in their own trip. A pure democracy of equal participation Freedom within the tribe.

Peace and gods bless.

This guy needs to hire an editor.

 

[awilkie84]

Pretentiousness has a new prophet!

http://nanaimo.craigslist.ca/muc/4701355074.html


Rock N Roll Singer. (Nanaimo)

Early 30's rock singer. Not any of your cheesy crappy Nickelback ******** either. I only sing bad ass music. Examples : Iggy Pop, The Cult, The Doors, Zeppelin, Bo Diddley, MC5... singing voice is similar to The Talking Heads, Husker Du with a blood curdling rock n roll scream to go with it. If you too think that while driving that every thing that comes on the radio after flipping through it for half an hour is absolute poopie, this might be cool to get into. Also, if you don't drink or have a problem with pot, we won't get along that well I reckon. Mhhhmmm. Nn

 

[Yango]

he has updated his ad with his name and a shopped magazine cover.
http://victoria.craigslist.ca/msg/4702564729.html

Kind of makes me wonder why he hasn't replaced some big name professional himself...

 

[xgator4u]

Kind of makes me wonder why he hasn't replaced some big name professional himself...

He HAS.
Didn't you see where he replaced someone on the cover of that magazine?

 

[fakeneckplate'65]

Someone's gonna get a deal on these all original beauties!

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[Yango]

He HAS.
Didn't you see where he replaced someone on the cover of that magazine?

Very true. How could I possibly have missed that? I'm going to send him $150.00 immediately—I want to replace Eric Clapton next week. Perhaps I'l send Ol' Slowhand a stamp collecting book this week so he can get used to the idea...

 

[Howlin' Hanson]

Someone's gonna get a deal on these all original beauties!

[Invalid or Expired Link Removed]

Maybe the nursing home don't allow no guitar playin' there. At least he's gonna share and not be buried with them.

 

[Papazita]

Someone's gonna get a deal on these all original beauties!

[Invalid or Expired Link Removed]

All original? Wow. I don't have 50 grand, but since he's going into a nursing home, I'll just wait till he's even more senile and give him a dollar.

 

[60bass]

Someone's gonna get a deal on these all original beauties!

[Invalid or Expired Link Removed]

Pretty nice but hardly original with those humbucking PU'S in the middle position. Looks like the swamp ash one has an Alembic Stratoblaster preamp mounted in the jack plate.