Damn, we really do need a club of TBers who have had a spouse cheat on them. Same here, happened a year ago, this week actually......damn.....anyway things for us were in a terrible place. Her affair actually reignited some passions we forgot we had, but in the end were not enough. The divorce became final in April. I could say a lot of nasty things about her, there is still a lot about her that drives me nuts, but I won't. For one, and this is personally, it doesn't really help. Just has me wallow in misery and become more depressed.
The other is because I try to be very careful about what I say in any kind of forum that can be dug up and attributed to me later. So if your in this situation, and if you still have legel issues pending, or if children are involved (where legal issues could crop up at any time) be extremely careful when venting online. Particularly Facebook and Twitter, but also on places like TB. These comments can be attributed to you and presented in court. Just saying, be mindful.
Chuck, I can say is that I fully understand. An affair is not something that is insurmountable to your marriage. My parents are an unfortunate testament to that. But it is extremely destructive. Judging from your comments, and my own personal experience, the trust that remained is gone. And without trust you have no possibility for a real relationship. Get better my friend, there is light at the end of the tunnel.
