The way to be a musician people want to play with, is to be a musician people want to play with.
1. Be unquestionably accountable (on time, prepared, reliable, stable gear, dressed right)
2. Be unquestionably amiable (friendly, interested in others' success, team player, positive, easy to work with)
3. Be unquestionably humble (no ego, acknowledge mistakes, ask for opinions, choose your moments)
I think many musicians make the mistake of thinking that bands want the person with the best chops. I would bet most bands would take a "good musician" who is accountable/amiable/humble over the "elite musician" who is unaccountable/unfriendly/egotistical.
BTW - I love all the emphasis in other posts about a players ability to listen. I think "listening" might be the top skill a musician can possess.