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WHY PLAYING BASS IS BETTER THAN YOUR SPOUSE

your bass wont want to cuddle after everytime you play it..

you dont mind cuddeling with it after you play it


[pretends to be a bass sister]

your bass wont walk out of the shower naked, swing its penis at you and say "HOOHA!"

your bass wont forget to leave the seat down

your bass doesn't need to take a shower as often as your spouse
 
your bass wont want to cuddle after everytime you play it..

you dont mind cuddeling with it after you play it


[pretends to be a bass sister]

your bass wont walk out of the shower naked, swing its penis at you and say "HOOHA!"

your bass wont forget to leave the seat down

your bass doesn't need to take a shower as often as your spouse

ROTFL!!!

My bass does not smack my behind in public.

My bass does not look at other basses with lust in its frets.

My bass doesn't mind if I'm hormonal and weird...it understands.

When I play a note on my bass, it doesn't need to go ask another bass if that's the right note.

Cherie ;)
 
My bass won't read my TB posts.
My bass won't die for me, lie for me or get high with me
My bass will never let me cry on it's shoulder or in it's arms.
I can't shave my bass before playing it.
My bass will never have my children.
My bass doesn't love me as much as my wife does.

Oh, and someone asked how long people have been married on TB.
Let's just say I'm on the 3rd ring of marriage:
1 - Engagement Ring.
2 - Wedding Ring.
3 - Suffering
 
Well, I think we can do the same thing for women, can't we? Did I make it gender specific? Nope! But I could only answer from my POV.

and by the way, I luvvvvvvvvvv my wife. But this is called H-U-M-O-U-R. Live it, learn it, love it. Life is too short to do otherwise.

but ok for the women.

WHY A BASS IS BETTER THAN YOUR HUBBY

Basses don't come home drunk after a night out with the other basses.

You don't have to praise a bass after playing it.

Basses don't have to prove anything.

Second-hand Basses don't go to see previous owners when you're out of town.

You don't have to continually assure your Bass that its string length is just right.

Your bass never spends a "night out with the Basses" and comes home with a strange rash on its fretboard
 
Basses never need a shave, nor do they have hair on their backs.
Basses don't snore.
You don't have to feed your bass
Basses never argue, you are always right.
Basses never wake you up in the middle of the night, for any reason.
Basses don't care what you look like or what your age is.
Basses don't care and don't comment about what you spend your money on.
When you're playing, your bass doesn't care if other basses are bigger or better.
Basses don't get you pregnant.
Basses don't have mothers.
When you've finished playing, you can put it away.
You don't have to praise a Bass after playing it.
Basses don't abandon you at gatherings for more interesting players.
You don't have to explain to a bass if you don't feel like playing tonight.
Basses don't complain if you wear "sensible" clothes.
When you're lost, you don't have to argue with your bass about stopping to ask the band for directions.
When your bass is being played too slow, you can speed up.
When you need someone to play with, your bass is happy to accommodate.
You buy the tools your bass needs; it doesn't buy tools that never get used.
Your bass never finishes before you do.
 
Yeah...I get it. And some are very funny.

A few...not so much.

Since the thread title is nicely non-gender specific, perhaps we'll hear some from our sister bassists?

Here you go

My bass never leaves the toilet seat up:D

My bass doesn't care if I go shopping:D

My bass doesn't snore:D

My bass wouldn't tell you if I dented the car:D

My bass doesn't care if I hang my pantyhose in the bathroom:D

My bass doesn't think poetry is queer:D

My bass can't make me pregnant:D
 
well, we're coming up on 22 years.

for our 20th, we went sky-diving. some people thought it was an extreme way to celebrate that anniversary - but just wait til you've been married 20 years, you'll be more than ready to jump out of a plane.... :smug:

i wish you well.

<chuckles>...good one.

Yeah...but she jumped too, right? I take it you didn't pack each other's chutes? :D