WHY PLAYING BASS IS BETTER THAN YOUR SPOUSE

[moogboy]

i got a question: what if your bass was made in a factory of ALL women workers? then your bass would have a mother.

 

[clockworkwar]

+1 for me for pointing out your message is incorrect.

Both ways of spelling are correct. In Britain and other places, it's usually spelled "humour"

Link Removed

+1 For the English spellings lol. I mean they have options of Word for example, for US and UK english. Ahhhh lol. If the wrong ones selected your so screwed with essays.

 

[Fassa Albrecht]

Basses never need a shave, nor do they have hair on their backs.
Basses don't snore.
You don't have to feed your bass
Basses never argue, you are always right.
Basses never wake you up in the middle of the night, for any reason.
Basses don't care what you look like or what your age is.
Basses don't care and don't comment about what you spend your money on.
When you're playing, your bass doesn't care if other basses are bigger or better.
Basses don't get you pregnant.
Basses don't have mothers.
When you've finished playing, you can put it away.
You don't have to praise a Bass after playing it.
Basses don't abandon you at gatherings for more interesting players.
You don't have to explain to a bass if you don't feel like playing tonight.
Basses don't complain if you wear "sensible" clothes.
When you're lost, you don't have to argue with your bass about stopping to ask the band for directions.
When your bass is being played too slow, you can speed up.
When you need someone to play with, your bass is happy to accommodate.
You buy the tools your bass needs; it doesn't buy tools that never get used.
Your bass never finishes before you do.

Okay then.
Bass not waking you up in the middle of the night- what about me? I must be weird cause more than once I've woken at 3am with a need to play. Shame I live in a uni dorm....
Not having to feed your bass- mine seems to enjoy taking my fingernails off. I've never found the broken pieces either...

Bass not minding if you don't play tonight- I feel guilty if I don't play....

Basses having tools that they need, not want- My particular bass came with a load of tools, the grand majority of which I haven't worked out their use yet.

Basses not arguing back- mine seems to. Particular songs seem to have a bad effect on my bass, and it retaliates by hitting me in the thumb with the G string. OWWWWEEEE!!



But I love my bass.......


Also, you choose the bass, and you don't have to court it, take it out on dates or pay out for a wedding.

 

[BobWestbrook]

My bass never disapproves of my lines.
My bass is always active.
My bass is never annoying.
My bass never questions the need for more basses.
My bass always likes to get plugged in.

 

[beyondhairy]

my bass doesnt mind when i play in the pocket? lol


but ya know, all these pros that the bass has over the "spouse", it still has one con that doesnt make any of the other ones worth a damn..... it has more wood then me

 

[Johnny Mac]

If you ever get tired of a bass, you can replace it with a newer, more attractive one.

 

[LutherHeggs00]

You can always turn the volume down on your bass, not so much on your spouse.

A cold bass against your bare legs is allowed, but cold feet are not.

When your bass "farts out", it doesn't smell like your wife's fermenting colon.

 

[strangemusic]

Basses don't mind when you try to slap them down low!

also this thread is certifiably

 

[txbasschik]

my girlfriend loves you hahahaha

Better treat 'er right, or she'll go out and get herself a bass!

LOL!



Cherie

 

[BassJunkie730]

all you need is 2 fingers and a thumb,

or does that apply to both? lol



hmmm why a bass is better then a spouse? i can carry it in a bag on my back and not get stoped by the cops.. i win..

Uuhhh... I never get stopped by the cops when i carry my girlfriends in a bag on my back.

I guess it's the whole, harmless All American guy thing.

Remember folks - we live right next door

 

[jm3sb0nd007]

My bass is better cause it likes to get slapped...hard

Edit: Also your bass doesn't make you put rubbers on your fingers if you want to have some fun with it.

 

[BassJunkie730]

My bass is better cause it likes to get slapped...hard

Edit: Also your bass doesn't make you put rubbers on your fingers if you want to have some fun with it.

But your wife does?

On your fingers?


....wierd

 

[BassJunkie730]

The only baggage it brings gets it to the next gig.

Your bass loves hard, aggressive playing

You don't mind when your bass has punch

And FTW

Your bass isn't a dirty little w***e!!!!

 

[brainhii]

its ok if you finger a minor[/QUOTE]

wow dude, i'm shocked and amazed

 

[BillytheBassist]

Your bass won't drink all of your beer before you get off work.
Your bass won't spend your paycheck before you even get it.
Your bass won't scratch your back when your diggin in.

 

[DJ-Jazzy-Jay]

Your bass wont ooze blood out of it`s input jack for five days, every freaking month. Nuff' said.

 

[h00t]

Women have one G-spot, while your bass has G2, G3, and G4. More exotic models may even have G1 and G5.

 

[MonkyBass]

HAHAH good stuff

 

[Otso]

I can get my groove on with a bass, but not with a woman.

 

[meev991]

I can get my groove on with a bass, but not with a woman.

I've been in a rut lately with woman, but my bass always knows how to treat me right.