You know you're a bass player if...

[All_¥our_Bass]

Your playing shows up on the Richter scale

 

[Broach_insound]

You like strawberry milk shakes

 

[nemo]

..if your keyboard player thinks he has mobile vibrating in his pocket...


..in fact his pants have fluttered by your bass playing...

 

[leffe luffer]

.....if when you find yourself listening to JM and MP hold down the beat while JP shreds like a ****ing maniac in one of his solos on In The Name of God

That is so true that it´s scary. I barely notice the guitar solo I almost always just tune it out and zoom in in the great bass/drum part.

 

[DaveAceofBass]

For those bass players who don't solo, you'll find this funny; those who do solo, laugh and don't get offended.




What does a bass solo and a premature ejaculation have in common?

You know they are both coming but there is nothing you can do about it.

 

[Arikash]

What does a bass solo and a premature ejaculation have in common?

You know they are both coming but there is nothing you can do about it.

That was funny.

 

[Atshen]

.....if when you find yourself listening to JM and MP hold down the beat while JP shreds like a ****ing maniac in one of his solos on In The Name of God

Pardon my ignorance, but who the fudge are JM, MP and JP?

Edit: I think I got it! Myung, Portnoy and Petrucci?

 

[Arikash]

Yes, you also know if your a DT fan if you know what those all mean

 

[milos.otic]

(assuming you don't play regular guitar....at all)

you go to someone's house and they have an accoustic guitar and you pick it up and start playing it using your bass fingering technique.

 

[BoomBoy]

Bet this thread is too long for anyone to actually read this far but... Here goes:

When your girlfriend appreciates your fingering skills and begs you not to play with a pick

My girlfriends thoughts on guitarists going like ? "Wow, you must be able to wank so fast..."

Needless to say: I love her

 

[BoomBoy]

you have a sticker on the back of your car that says "bass players finger better"

Funk yeah, gonna print a T-shirt with that to gig in..

Oh, and, to continue on the subject: you've actually done the scene with the woman on the speaker from Private Parts (Howard Stern).

You should know what I'm talking about


BTW are there any "I hate new strings threads"?

Edit: well, there is one now..

 

[1973ric4001]

Yeah some of thoes gave me a chuckle, but nothing in the world has ever pissed me off more than the school of rock nyway good post.

 

[1973ric4001]

"When you tell people the white strips don't have a bass player"
A-f***n-men brother, ive been fighting that battle for a year when people say "oh can you play that white stripes song?"

uh , lets see, i havent looked through all of these so if i took one of some1s sry..
Yo kno your a bass player when.........
-you start listneing to primus religously and dont care about what the lyrics.
-If you keep telling yourself that Rush is not a prog-rock band.
-If you spend most of your time with your bass on your lap infront of the computor looking for videos of Jaco solos, and keep telling yourself theres more than three on limewire.
-If youve gone to a victor wooten concert, met him, and had no damn clue on what to say when you shook hands with him.
-If there is nothing pisses you off more than when a guitarist plays anesthesia or any bass solo.
-when half of the songs in your music library have the words "bass solo" some were in the title.
-If you waste your weekends attempting to teach yourself how to slap as fast as victor wooten.
-If the fact that the bassist from Greenday or Blink 182 have their own signature basses pisses you off.
-If you think that the new Jazz basses are of extremely poor quality, *the mexican ones, not the american ones, those own.
-If you have more bass magazeens then books.
-When the first words you type in when you get on ebay are related to bass.
-When you dream of an alembic bass or jacos bass constantly.
-When you dont care at all about how weird John Paul Jones' clothes looked on the zeppelin DVD.
-When you pay more attention to your finger speed than your math teacher.

Ok, i know these are getting pretty lame but one more.....
You know your a bass player when you know your basses birthday better than your girlfriends.

 

[Sonic Seamus]

*You find yourself muttering 'picks are for pussies' under your breath

*You detest 'shredding' in guitar solos

I am so guilty of both of these.

 

[43% burnt]

You know your a bass player when you know your basses birthday better than your girlfriends.

G&L=may 1983
GF=july...july...18th? I think, have to look on the calendar

 

[bill_banwell]

"When you tell people the white strips don't have a bass player"
A-f***n-men brother, ive been fighting that battle for a year when people say "oh can you play that white stripes song?"

uh , lets see, i havent looked through all of these so if i took one of some1s sry..
Yo kno your a bass player when.........
-you start listneing to primus religously and dont care about what the lyrics.
-If you spend most of your time with your bass on your lap infront of the computor looking for videos of Jaco solos,
-If there is nothing pisses you off more than when a guitarist plays anesthesia

Guilty of these... haha

 

[burntgorilla]

When you hate Jack Black with a vengeance. I read in my friend's dad's guitar magazine (he's a *proper* guitarist, if you like), where there was an interview with Jack Black where he said that his ideal band would have no bass. Made me want to kill the fat bastard.

 

[basstard1]

You know your a bass player when......
you swear your washing machine is in e flat
you have a huge grin on your face when you tell your guitarist that you have been listening to a lot of charles mingus lately and he pretends to know who he is
you turn up the bass on the e.q to the full on EVERY possible appliance, at home, work and school
You have raised your fist at least once to a guitarist
Oh yer and that school of rock thing is so annoying

 

[casualtie]

(assuming you don't play regular guitar....at all)

you go to someone's house and they have an accoustic guitar and you pick it up and start playing it using your bass fingering technique.

haha, yeah i do that all time

 

[ArtisFallen]

When you hate Jack Black with a vengeance. I read in my friend's dad's guitar magazine (he's a *proper* guitarist, if you like), where there was an interview with Jack Black where he said that his ideal band would have no bass. Made me want to kill the fat bastard.

ooh... i used to have some respect for that man...