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Bass Player "No-No's" With Fines

#121
Ubersheist said:
- $1 for whenever you miss the 1 after botching a frilly-fill.
- $100 for playing ANY bass line in between songs just because you think someone in the audience might be impressed. Extra $25 if the bass line is a Rush bass line.
- $100 for any fill played out of key. Extra $50 fine if all the fills played are only pentatonic and out of key.
- $50 for each incident of inappropriate slapping.
- $100 for setting a "scooped" EQ on the bass amp when you're not in a metal band.
- $200 fine for changing out a bass for a similar bass between songs just because the bassist thinks the tone in one bass is better for a different song then the other even though the band's playing at a crappy club with terrible acoustics.
Click to expand...

This list is spot on.
 
#122
Hmmm...pretty comprehensive list here. And mighty funny. :D FWIW from a near-virgin bassist (3 mini gigs so far):

Giving weird look to keys guy when YOU miss the root: -$50 per instance (discount to -$25 for weird look to guitarist as it might be true)

Plugging in at full volume to a hot stack: -$500, or actual replacement cost of speaker and audience's ears

Slapping in church: excommunication
 
#127
Ubersheist said:
- $1 for whenever you miss the 1 after botching a frilly-fill.
- $100 for any fill played out of key. Extra $50 fine if all the fills played are only pentatonic and out of key.
- $50 for each incident of inappropriate slapping.
Click to expand...

Wow! Perfect. The bass player in my band owes us $40501 for last night. Sad thing is that I'm not exaggerating a bit. Machine gun slap fills in a random key in every song in a 3 hour set.

Cover band, not Victor Wooten.
 
#132
- $100 for playing ANY bass line in between songs just because you think someone in the audience might be impressed. Extra $25 if the bass line is a Rush bass line.


Guilty! When my guitar player starts fiddling with his effects rack or tuning, I have been known to noodle. Can't do Rush, but often play The Beatles' "Day Tripper" or Pink Floyd's "Money"...
 
#133
This is a wonderful thread!! HAHA!!

Ubersheist said:
- $100 for any fill played out of key. Extra $50 fine if all the fills played are only pentatonic and out of key.
- $50 for each incident of inappropriate slapping.
Click to expand...

I have to say I agree with this one fully. I am shocked and appalled when somebody who should know better does an incredible slapped/popped solo in E regardless of the key of the song.

Re: the fine for tuning at full volume - maybe this is a dickhead maneuver on my part, but if I'm only allowed one prank as a contemporary musician, it's a quick harmonic blip check once a set. Of course, not loud enough to rattle everyone's precious $13 bucket of Bud Light bottles off the table, but I think a polite blip across the board is a nice anachronism for people who would hear it and have (any) opinion on it. The audience has it way too easy as it is anyway, hahaha.
 
#136
Piggy8692 said:
$100 noodling between songs
$500 noodling a well-known bass part to a cover song that you are about to play next.
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+100!

Since theres so much mention of tuning...

Was in a Southern Rock Band once (-100?)

We always started a set with "Can't You See?" (-1000!)

At the beginning of the set,
and after an extended break (-100)

We would all be on stage, ready to go, and the singer, who played the acoustic intro, would choose to tune his guitar string by string.:rollno:

GRRRRR!!!! -10000!:scowl:

I know thats not a bass story, but it sure fried this bass player - on a regular basis. :spit:
 
#138
TimWatson said:
$100 for slapping during sound check when there is no slapping in your set.
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+1...awesome.

For a gig that pays $150:

$-1 for every note more than what the song calls for
$-5 for asking the sound guy to help you find the speakon adapter you dropped under the stage
$-10 tuning while on in the system
$-10 inbetween sets if you agree with a barfly that Fender basses are the only good basses out there =)
$-15 for everytime a guy comes back to hit on your wife/gf even after they said they are with you (aka they think they still have a chance because your playing sucks)
$-15 for dropping any piece of gear during loading
$-25 for playing with a cable and forgetting to loop it around your neckstrap
$-50 for starting any song off by a half step and giggling about it as the song continues
$-75 for missing the first song of a set because you were 'busy'
 
#139
ShowLow said:
Plugging in at full volume to a hot stack: -$500, or actual replacement cost of speaker and audience's ears
Click to expand...

Funny thread, glad to see it come back to life. Somebody did this to my rig once. Multi-band bill, and I had graciously allowed my rig to be backlined. I had just taken the head out of the car, and the knobs had gotten knocked around a bit. The input gain and master volume were both cranked. Dude gets up on stage, says "gee, you set your volume really high, don't you", proceeds to pluck his E string, and THEN turn on my amp. Dude almost got fined a couple of teeth.
 

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