He broke my bass!?

[dj150888]

Can I make my first ever HoF nomination for the most dodgy mod I've ever seen on a bass!?

 

[Ziltoid]

I'm still really curious to hear his other story about it.

 

[SpankyPants]

You're either a righteous, mellow cat or you're heavily medicated. Either way, you're a good man to take the high road as you seem to be doing. I salute you.

I don't think you're righteous. I think you're naive - a romantic idealist. The only way that I can imagine someone wouldn't be so upset is that they're wealthy enough that losing just another bass won't matter. I unfortunately do not have that luxury and would be very upset if someone butchered my instrument.

Accidents happen and are forgivable. But to totally mess it up and to lie about it? I would have him pay for the new body and paint and all costs to have it done, then tell him to get out of my life.

i cannot imagine what would compel someone to do that,but if it were me i'd insist on a new,extremely expensive body,refinish,set up etc......if for no other reason than to teach this guy the lesson he so desperately needs to learn......imagine if he did that to some of the previous posters......they would be dragging the river looking for him now

Mr. bassistloaded21, this is your wake-up call. He won't replace it.

I can be, i mean im no little guy lol, but i believe in dealing with things with respect, and i believe in showing respect for myself, and my family, and my name, which is very valuable to me. Getting in a fight with him would have brought tons of legal troubles and all sorts of bs. Never talking to him again would have solved nothing either, bc he is a good friend and has always meant the best. What i think happened, is that i know he was having probs with his gf. I think he got pissed slammed the bass into the floor, and the wood shredded. In order to not make it look so bad, I think he just sanded it all down to where it is. I mean come on guys, its a bass body.

He obviously doesn't believe in doing things with respect; he didn't respect your property and by lying, disrespected you. It's NOT about the bass. Quit being ignorant and blind. It's about how you're enabling him to disrespect you, which you imagine is "showing respect for yourself."

He actually will replace it. He already tried to give me the money for it but i was out of town doing some gigs for a while, and when i finally got back to him, well, thats a whole nother story lol. But trust me, it will be replaced, theres no doubt in my mind. hes been really understanding and upfront about it. He just panicked when he first told me bc he knew how valuable it was to me. hey we all make mistakes, most of us not like that, but mistakes nontheless

What do you mean that it was "a whole nother story?" He hasn't been upfront about anything. He broke it and didn't tell you. Then he mangled it and didn't tell you. Then when you finally asked him for it, he lied to you about it. That wasn't just panic "when he first told you." That was deliberate, calculated, and intentional. It was something he had to have been hiding for a while.

Dude, good luck getting your new body/money....If he did this to your bass and lied to you about it what makes you think he's really gonna pay? I wouldn't have posted anything on tb....I would have watched from jail as his family plans his funeral...

He clearly can't be trusted. People who do these kinds of things never come through. It's happened to me before. I try to exercise goodwill, but don't be an idiot. I no longer allow my bands to borrow or use or share any of my gear. You can't trust these people. Not everyone is going to be as upfront and considerate as you... In fact the vast majority will be quite the opposite.

Agreed ...these types of people feed on your tolerance and patience, and get away with being unreliable, disrespectful and dishonest slobs because of it. They are selfish, and anyone I've known who acts this way is not a friend of mine - despite what they may think.

I had someone use a bass at my house while I was away, snap a string and then take a flatwound off my fretless to replace it without telling me. He then broke the nut on that bass and put a giant scratch on it's gloss coat. He also screwed with the string and pick up heights and somehow lost the control cavity cover. He promised to fix the whole lot, and I said fine. Two months went past, so told him either repair the bass or buy it off me. He bought it, probably because it was the option that meant he gained something and didn't have to do anything for someone else. Too bad he paid about 500% more than the cost of the repairs...

You need to put your foot down, and tell this guy in no uncertain terms that he owes you a new bass to replace the one he ruined and lied about. No compromises or 'okay sure, you can have some time to save up some cash.'

Who cares if it looks 'kinda cool' to some people? The guy 'modded' your bass without asking. Would you let someone turn your car into a convertible without asking first?

^^All of this is perfect. I couldn't have put it any better. They won't make the effort to fix it; they never do. You have to hunt them down about, constantly. YOU have to clean up after them like children, even though THEY caused all the mess. If they broke it and never told you, what makes you think they'd be upfront about paying for it?

And to the O/P, don't take the replies personally. It's just that most people find it hard to believe that a "friend" would have so little regard for HIS friend to do that. He had no right. If he accidentally damaged the part of the body where your forearm rests, he should have immediately let you know. He could have said something like, "Hey man, I'm really sorry. But if you'll give me the okay, I think I might be able to try something that will make it look cool..."

Then, at least the further butchery after the initial damage would have been understandable. At least he would have asked permission to try to salvage it. But as it was, most of us just can't imagine how a "friend" would think it's okay to create such an abomination to somebody else's property...

Like I said, you're either very disillusioned or so rich that it doesn't matter. Or both. It's not about the bass anymore. This guy isn't a friend. This guy screwed you and will continue to do so. You've set the tone, enabling him to take advantage of you in the future, and he will do exactly that. Life's hard. People are disgusting, and at some point or another, everyone you know is going to disappoint you. That's just how people are. We are all humans, and we all make mistakes. He may have mistakenly broken the bass, but it was no mistake to try to cover his tracks and lie to you about it... several times.

I hope this is the first time this has happened to you, because otherwise you really need to learn from YOUR mistakes (aka trusting anyone but yourself). Your gear isn't as important to anyone else but yourself. This is a learning experience. Friendships and relationships in general are about trust. This guy went to great lengths to over it up, which shows that he obviously didn't respect you or your gear enough to tell you and work it out. He can't be trusted. He can no longer be a friend.

It's unfortunate, but that's how you protect yourself. It's not about holding a grudge. It's not about causing problems. It's about self preservation. Situations like this are awful, but they happen. Now you have to do what it takes to make sure that it won't happen again. But if you continue to put your blind faith in this "friend" it WILL happen again. I'm sorry man, but that's the way it is. By letting him get away with it and still trusting him, you're conditioning him to repeat the situation. I'm serious. It's not whether or not "you don't know my friend and can't tell me what he did bc he made a mistake and is really sorry and can be trusted b/c I don't wanna hurt his feelings or cause a problem." It's a downright psychological phenomenon. He already CAUSED the problem, and you are enabling and reinforcing that behavior.

Good luck, man. Be good to yourself.

 

[godofthunder59]

I never loan gear for this exact reason. He owes you a new body minimum. Unbelievable.

 

[SpankyPants]

Plus, I'm interested in this "story" too.

 

[rappa29]

Just another reason to not loan gear out. Whether it's a $100 SX or $3000 custom. Generally, people will not take care of your gear was well as you would.

That's quite a piece of work though! I know I couldn't do a 'relic' job that clean!

 

[lonote]

Every day, I read something in these forums that leaves me shaking my head. What is wrong with people? A "friend" doesn't ruin your possessions and he certainly doesn't lie about it. The very fact that your "friend" hasn't made it right yet speaks volumes. You may have the patience of a saint and you may think you're helping a friend, but you are enabling somebody who, apparently, can't control himself. I hope everything goes as you hope it will but I wouldn't hold my breath if I were you. I agree that a bass body isn't anything that should break up a friendship but this was no accident and the issues are disrespect, anger management and deceit, not a couple of hundred bucks for a bass body.

 

[THand]

I have the greatest respect for your perspective and maturity. As seen in this thread most folks would have lost it. I don't think you are naive at all, you seem to have your priorities straight, and know what matters in this world, and your particular place in it.
Your music is in you, not a piece of wood.

I also think you need better friends, LOL.

All that aside, I think you should look up fellow TB'r Dan Atkinson.

I'd bet Dan could get that body back to original condition for ya.

 

[finalrequiem]

I didn't realize there were so many type "A" bassists. I gotta be honest, I lol'd. To me, this is totally different than someone "not respecting" equipment. That would be, to me, letting it get dinged up, knocked over, spilled on, etc. and showing no remorse at all. This is so insane that it's funny. I could see something like this happening to my best friend and him trying to help "fix" it for me, lol, without telling me- ESPECIALLY back when we both use to drink and, um, nevermind. I would trade the ridiculous story behind it and the memory of my best friends eternal shame for a backup bass (within reason guys) all day long and twice on Sunday. Stuff just isn't as important to me as "life" and all the quirky, insane things that go with it... Just my $.02 and I'm not saying all of you guys who see it as a deal-breaker are wrong. Just different...

 

[darthkgrim]

All that aside, I think you should look up fellow TB'r Dan Atkinson.

I'd bet Dan could get that body back to original condition for ya.

I was thinking that a luthier could have repaired it when I saw the original pic. These guys nowadays do some amazing woodwork. This is whay I can't understand why he would'nt just tell you it was broke. It may have come to a cheaper and more original solution instead of just moding it himself. NOW his mods need to be fixed.

I completely know how you feel, my best friend has used my guitars twice now because he did'nt have one and cracked the headstock on the electric 7 string and completely broke the headstock off the acoustic.(It was a real piece of crap I got for free) BUT STILL. I WILL NOT let him use another instrument because it always ends up involved in an accident with a careless kid or cat!!!


I truly feel for you man.

 

[singlemalt]

Your buddy designed the Ford Pinto back in the day and work is slow now, these creative types need to be occupied...He just couldn't help himself.

You understand. He's your buddy.

Buy a replacement body, give him this one. He's obviously not done with it. Once its tweaked and the design finalized, you'll have the new standard shape for the new century.

The chain theme is working for me, turn him loose!

 

[dmrogers]

Well, so many thing could be said about this. Actually, there are so many good quotes in the previous posts, I could barely contain myself. It is actually hard to believe that someone would actually do something like that. However, I am not going farther in my thoughts, I am simply going to try to answer the OP's original question:

I'm sorry, simply replacing the body would not be enough for me. He basically ruined your bass.

He should keep this bass and buy you another bass!

He either took his anger out on your personal property or had a complete disrespect for your property. Sure accidents happen, but this was no accident.

Have him totally replace the bass with something at least comparable to the new original one or with one that meets your satisfaction.

P.S. Your "friend" needs help, seriously.

 

[Quadzilla]

I bet that he sold the corner to a pawn show so he could buy crack (just kidding of course). Seriously, that's one of the craziest things I've seen.

Edit: I'm also curious to hear how this happened. Certainly not accusing you of anything at all, just would love to hear how your friend got into this situation. Dog chew on it? Did he loan it to a friend who proceeded to attempt to do his own "London Calling" smash on stage? Inquiring minds want to know! )))))))))))

 

[air_leech]

I have the greatest respect for your perspective and maturity. As seen in this thread most folks would have lost it. I don't think you are naive at all, you seem to have your priorities straight, and know what matters in this world, and your particular place in it.
Your music is in you, not a piece of wood.

well, the guy doesn't care much about the bass he lent so I don't think it's a matter of maturity or "right" priorities.

I'm pretty much sure if the bass was that important to him and/or an expensive instrument we would've heard this story through a news item about a man shooting another guy due to disagreement over damage to property or he wouldn't have lent it in the first place thus avoiding this horrific turn of events.

I know I wouldn't have made a big deal if a friend lent my SX P that I don't use and brought it back all banged up or broken since it didnt cost much and I dont play it but I'll deeply reconsider our friendship.

 

[mcapote]

No way that broke off. It's at 45 degrees to the grain of the body. Looks like he cut it off.

that's what it looks like to me too, wings aren't glued on like that so it wont break like that. I would smash the turd in the head with it. primary bass or not its a blatant disregard for the op and his property.

 

[Diogenes]

Ha im sorry for the people that wanna know the story, but Ive already forgiven him, and its done, i dont wanna go back and bring it up, because he was already really upset about it, because he knows it was my bass, its what i do for a living. But he honestly was sorry. For the people who say they would have killed him, im not a physical person. I can be, i mean im no little guy lol, but i believe in dealing with things with respect, and i believe in showing respect for myself, and my family, and my name, which is very valuable to me. Getting in a fight with him would have brought tons of legal troubles and all sorts of bs. Never talking to him again would have solved nothing either, bc he is a good friend and has always meant the best. What i think happened, is that i know he was having probs with his gf. I think he got pissed slammed the bass into the floor, and the wood shredded. In order to not make it look so bad, I think he just sanded it all down to where it is. I mean come on guys, its a bass body. Last time i checked no bass was worth going to jail/prison for. But i do agree that you guys are right, ive learned a lesson about loaning out my gear. I usually never do it, and i let it happen, and now ive suffered the consequences, but in the end, i will still have a bass, although not the exact same one, i will have a bass. And ill still have a friend also, just one that will never borrow anything that i own lol.

You're an extremely understanding and patient man for sure. I can definitely understand your point of view in almost all aspects. I don't know your friend and the history you two have had so all I can do is excercise a little empathy in this matter. What if this happened to me with one of my longtime friends? How would I handle it? I can honestly say that there have been people in my life who were very good friends. They've been there for me, covered my back and were always good intentioned... they just weren't very 'smart' (not that they aren't intelligent) and all too often made bad initial judgement calls. Are we still friends? In most cases yes and I've accepted the fact that they aren't malicious nor do they respect me any less than they do themselves... they just don't have the best initial reactions in dealing with a situation and it takes them awhile to realize that their initial course of action wasn't the wisest... but they eventually correct the matter.

 

[Diogenes]

... I was simply asking if i should leave it as is, or paint the edges black(the sanded down part was black before, for the ONE guy who didnt seem to understand that. I appreciate you guys' thought but I dont want to make this negative. I was asking a simple question.

Oh, BTW, I would probably spray the edges black... the bare wood really stands out a little too much for my tastes.

 

[SpankyPants]

I have the greatest respect for your perspective and maturity. As seen in this thread most folks would have lost it. I don't think you are naive at all, you seem to have your priorities straight, and know what matters in this world, and your particular place in it.
Your music is in you, not a piece of wood.

Um... where have you been? This isn't about the bass, it's about the betrayal of trust. If you want, I could repeat that a few more times. A bass can be replaced with much less time and effort than it would take to fully reestablish trust in a situation like this. Again, it's not about wood. It's not even about "the music."

After all, are we not our own first priority? Then wouldn't self respect, self preservation, and learning about trust be top priority? It's fine if he wants to call it a loss when it comes to the bass, but that doesn't change the fact that his friendship quickly became an unhealthy one. Any one-sided relationship is not going to be healthy.

But I guess it's all up to him. Some things people have to learn by themselves. You can lead a horse to water...

well, the guy doesn't care much about the bass he lent so I don't think it's a matter of maturity or "right" priorities.

I'm pretty much sure if the bass was that important to him and/or an expensive instrument we would've heard this story through a news item about a man shooting another guy due to disagreement over damage to property or he wouldn't have lent it in the first place thus avoiding this horrific turn of events.

I know I wouldn't have made a big deal if a friend lent my SX P that I don't use and brought it back all banged up or broken since it didnt cost much and I dont play it but I'll deeply reconsider our friendship.

Exactly.

It's not about the bass.


Not about the bass.


The bass, not about it.

Is this still about the bass? No, not really.

Basswhat?

 

[THand]

well, the guy doesn't care much about the bass he lent so I don't think it's a matter of maturity or "right" priorities.

I'm pretty much sure if the bass was that important to him and/or an expensive instrument we would've heard this story through a news item about a man shooting another guy due to disagreement over damage to property or he wouldn't have lent it in the first place thus avoiding this horrific turn of events.

He may or may not have lent it out in the first place if it were his main ax, I'll give you that.

If he had, I think you are wrong. Everybody isn't willing to hurt, much less "shoot" another person(much less a friend) over a bass. I'm sure he would be sick to his stomach about it, but I imagine his reaction in general would be about the same...just expect the guy to make it good and not loan him anything else.

No matter what you have, it is just a bass.

It would be hard to play very many gigs if you are in jail, and I refuse to believe everyone is that materialistic, that they value their possessions more than a human life.

 

[SpankyPants]

Still not about the bass.