Things that are Metal...and things that aren't

[ster]

I hate it when pretty girls laugh at me

Reminds me of when I was in a METAL HEAD in high school.

Yup! Me too!

Popular Girls - NOT Metal

I do remember some hot girls in high school coming over to the dark side that was a rare but cool occurance.

 

[Nev375]

 

[ster]

Best guitar for metal for sure!

 

[Psycho]

Take a joke man

I think everyone needs to, this is a humour thread, if a joke about Nazis offends you, then sorry it did, but it's also just a joke.

It's not like I said concentration camps or anything really offensive.

 

[greenboy]

Invalid Link Removed

 

[ster]

Invalid Link Removed

Not really sure how this fits in..but that was one funny ass movie!

 

[ster]

There is a fair amount of crappy new metal (IMO) but there was some older stuff I didn't care much for either. I will agree that as the genre has gotten more popular and branched out into all sorts of little sub genres, a good deal of what is rolled up in the "metal" catagory is utter junk.

Drone Metal
Death Metal
Melodic Death Metal(a pop crossover?)
Doom Metal
Nu Metal
Grind Metal
Speed metal
Stoner Metal
Alt-Metal(what the hell is that?)
Goth Metal
Industrial Metal(as opposed to "office Metal")
Progressive Metal
Folk Metal(really? THE TIMES ARE A_CHANGIN' M****RF****R!!!)
Technical Death metal(do they explain in more technical detail about death? And Death Metal just touches on the subject?)
Many more..

Nothing cracks me up more than when some metal artists are asked in an interview what their influences are and they reply "Well I have many diverse influences such as Black Metal, Death Metal and Speed Metal."

 

[NOAH_FX]

Metal:

• Anything medieval
• Blood
• Death
• Beastiality
• Polytheistic Religions
• Fire
• Unintelligile Vocals
• Bones
• Corpses
• Hatred
• Not being liked
• Not liking institutions
• Insanity
• Killing band members
• Guitars with 7+ Strings
• Basses with 5+ Strings
• Lack of Understanding of Music
• Unknown Symbols

Not metal:

• Sanity
• Kindness
• Goodness
• Monotheistic Religion
• Life
• Intelligible Vocals
• Suboridnance
• Liking anything
• Liking other bands
• Drum machines
• 4-String basses
• 6-String Guitars
• Acoustic Guitars
• Tambourines
• Music
• Understanding Music

HEY COMON NOW..

Metal is too music

 

[Beginner Bass]

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, I suppose...

 

[RestInPieces]

Go watch Motorhead's new video for the song GET BACK IN LINE, that is fukken metal all the way.

My conclusion

Metal:

Lemmy

Not metal:

Everything/everyone except Lemmy

 

[IbanezBass69]

Are:
Not:
Kids Birthday parties

With the exception, of course, the b-day party in Lamb of God's "Redneck" music video. That was the best B-Day party for metal.

 

[greenboy]

[Invalid or Expired Link Removed]

 

[greenboy]

 

[oniman7]

Metal:
Using a length of chain as a guitar or bass strap

Bad tattoos

Album cover art that features: Vikings brandishing weaponery, Dragons, Fire, Corpses, Wizards, Scantly clad "overdone" women, alters of sacrifice, Satan himself.......

Wearing a "motorcycle jacket" even though You've never owned a motorcycle

Unkept long hair, and/or Beard

More chains(wallet chains, multiple)

Not Metal:
cupcakes and punch at a party

Beer that cost more than 5 dollars per six pack

A brown corduroy blazer

Any music instrument that isn't flat black or some sort of camoflage pattern

Kittens, puppies, flowers, and the like

Unicorns, unless they are having some over the top magical battle with a wizard

I am sure I left something out somewhere...........

This unicorn's pretty metal:
http://games.adultswim.com/robot-unicorn-attack-heavy-metal-twitchy-online-game.html

 

[Gort]

I play in a roots/ragtime trio and the guitarist uses the steel resonator with slide. Cool stuff.

 

[superdick2112]

Dave the Founder of Wendy's = NOT METAL

Dave = Not Metal? Come on, Dave has fed almost as many late-night drunken metalheads as Taco Bell!

btw, Taco Bell = Metal

 

[Frohman]

Things that are metal:
Choking on your own vomit
Choking on someone else's vomit
Nailing a hooker BEFORE the show
Living in a van with a drummer
Biting the head off of a live animal
Biting the head off of anything really
Anything that shoots flame
Drinking whiskey straight from the bottle
Falling off the drum riser. While drunk. And nailing a hooker.
Taking a dump outside the backdoor of the club (anybody can take a piss on the street, but a dump...)
Sleeping with two woman at once, and satisfying neither of them, but still bragging about it.
Mixing whiskey with cocaine and thinking; "Hey this a great idea! I bet I'm the first guy to think of this!"
Pissing in your pants on stage.
Anyone with a blood alcohol level above 3.0 that doesn't die.

I think you're mixing up metal with rock 'n roll...

 

[Beginner Bass]

I think you're mixing up metal with rock 'n roll...

I think it needs reorganizing.

Metal:

Biting the head off of a live animal
Biting the head off of anything really
Anything that shoots flame

Rock:

Choking on your own vomit
Choking on someone else's vomit
Nailing a hooker BEFORE the show
Living in a van with a drummer
Drinking whiskey straight from the bottle
Falling off the drum riser. While drunk. And nailing a hooker.
Taking a dump outside the backdoor of the club (anybody can take a piss on the street, but a dump...)
Sleeping with two woman at once, and satisfying neither of them, but still bragging about it.
Mixing whiskey with cocaine and thinking; "Hey this a great idea! I bet I'm the first guy to think of this!"
Pissing in your pants on stage.
Anyone with a blood alcohol level above 3.0 that doesn't die.

 

[pie_man_25]

http://www.youtube.com/user/drbpony#p/u/8/X_woPxAJSHM

these guys are SO metal.

 

[Mooch]

Metal:
Being a year old and hating Santa Claus(My daugther yesterday)

Not Metal:
Being the guy dressed up as santa.

Metal: Bart Simpson's Satan Claws picture he got in trouble for at school

Not Metal:
Family guy any episode ever.