Your best friends in online discussion forums.
1. Ignore the trolls and people with sadistic/narcissistic tendencies in the open forums. Just don't respond to them -- it only feeds their hunger for more of the the sick pleasure that comes from taking jabs at people.
2. Post your questions in private conversation to a hand-picked group of people who have the necessary skills and balanced perspective to give you credible answers. Put them in your followers list when they make posts that indicate they have the necessary skills, perspective and maturity. This provides a pool of people you can draw on when you need an opinion from people who seem to be qualified.
3. Report posts that seem to violate rules, usually the rule about treating others with respect.
4. Recognize that informal leaders/members/posters of forums are not professionally trained and don't bring professional skills to their postings and comments. Give them some leeway on that.
5. Figure out the culture of the specific forum before you post there. In many discussion forums (not necessarily Talkbass) there is often an old guard that has established certain cultural norms. These norms are usually matters of style and opinion, not principle, even though the veterans treat them that way. So it helps to understand them before you make posts. There are also sub-cultures in large forums that one needs to be aware of. Figure those out before you start treading on sacred cows.
6. Vote with your feet if the nonsense gets too much. There was one forum for smooth jazz enthusiasts a while ago. I loved it -- at first. But moderators started siding with the old guard, letting them do whatever they wanted, while punishing and mocking newbies. After about five to eight years it got worse and worse, and spilled over into the general membership. I saw it happening and quit the forum. Fast forward 2 years and the place is gone -- word from others that were there was that it imploded and everyone quit due to one-sided moderation.
7. Use the ignore button to ignore people who show a tendency for mocking others, making comments meant to upset people, etcetera. You'll be surprised how much more readable threads are when you do that.
8. Thank the people who made thoughtful comments and even give feedback on which posts helped you make your decision -- without dissing the low-value-added comments.
9. Don't directly quote people as it makes it personal.
10. In private messages, I've asked people to consider altering their posts to accurately reflect what I said earlier, and on occasion, simply asked them to stop their behavior. And both times, they did what I asked and apologized. So, you can change minds, but do it in private, and after making a judgment about whether the person has the respect for humanity to care about their online relationships. Some people are incorrigible and such efforts are a waste of time, so use your judgment.
11. I started teaching a course that involved the Dark Triad of personality -- one of which is narcissism. Landed on some books by a self-confessed narcissist who pens under the name H.G. Tudor on Amazon Kindle. HIs one book, Fuel, gives you a clear look into the thought processes of a self-confessed narcissist.
Consider reading it..
https://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss_2?url=search-alias=aps&field-keywords=Fuel+HG+Tudor
Narcissists tend to leave after they realize you have figured out that what they are doing is conscious. Learn to recognize their tactics -- projection, insults, subtle innuendo, etcetera.
12. Don't participate when people challenge you to prove an assertion you made. No good will come of it, as they will pick it apart. That was their intent in laying down the guantlet. Definitely share your work with people on your followers list you can count on to treat your songs, videos, work with constructive respect -- but do it when you want feedback.
13. Be supportive of people who are subject to trolls or untoward behavior. Use private messages, or open forum generic comments that support the person without challenging the trolls and others who are out to create drama.
14. Don't expect any deference to you because you have thousands of posts, have invested many hours in providing the content and interaction that makes discussion forums thrive, or have a strong ratio of likes to to total posts.
Recognize that if you make enough mistakes, even unintentionally, you could be banned in a moment, depending on the forum. I was astonished at this on a forum I used to post on about 6 years ago. This great person got banned after 10,000 posts, rich humor and much value-added content. She had the respect of many people. No counsel given first, not warning, no suspension first, simply banning without warning. Recognize that in the end, we are all disposable.
i don’t post anything very useful, though, so i’m good
